So a baby seal walks into a club... Boom boom, tssh!
... leaving eighteen dead and one man with irreversible trombone insertion.
In other news today, Kayleigh L Hamilton randomly walked into a second-hand bookshop in Brentwood and stumbled out again with five Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds albums that she had aquired for a ridiculous £1 (that's one pound sterling) each. That's a lot of fucking good music for a fiver. When later discussing the lucktastic occurence, she was heard to remark: "It was a coincidence that was so coincidental it was scary" before wandering off to enjoy the audio pleasures further.
In our Arts and Entertainment news, we are happy to report that the GCSE pieces that took place last night in the extremely stuffy but atmospheric drama studio at Coopers Schollage were a Roman triumph that easily wiped the floor with certain A/S pieces that had performed but the previous night. Favourites of this exquisite line-up were widely reported to be 100 and Marat/Sade for the darkly humourous content, whereas Cleansed and 4:48 Psychosis managed to shock, scare and cover the audience in projectile blood. Although Road and Handbag are plays held less highly in this reporter's opinion (since she's OD-d on anti-Thatcherism and the gay nuclear family controversy), but the performances themselves are held highly, particularly A.A Stratford's Scullery, which made me wish I had a shopping trolley too. Stars of the evening in my book? Tom (Knight?), Kate Wilson, Ross Clark, James Webb (who, to quote Ije "oozes sex") and Lauren I-Don't-Know-Her-Surname-Because-The-Program-Wiped-It-Out. This reporter gives the night eighty-one and a half thumbs up.
And now the weather. Today's forecast is Nick Cave accompanied by strawberry jam on toast. This is expected to progress throughout the day. Today's temperature is Happy and Calm, but is expected to give way overnight to Anxiety and a light shower, followed closely by Cold Sweat.
Tomorrow's forecast is Time To Talk To Joe and Sort Out What Happens Next, Getting Explanations, Oh Fuck Fuck Buggery Fuck, which is expected to begin with an alarming rise in Panic closely followed by a fog of Carefully Engineered "Coping, understanding and rational", potentially followed by another light shower and with probability to end with a sharp temperature drop into Apathy.
But who listens to the weather forecast?
x
In other news today, Kayleigh L Hamilton randomly walked into a second-hand bookshop in Brentwood and stumbled out again with five Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds albums that she had aquired for a ridiculous £1 (that's one pound sterling) each. That's a lot of fucking good music for a fiver. When later discussing the lucktastic occurence, she was heard to remark: "It was a coincidence that was so coincidental it was scary" before wandering off to enjoy the audio pleasures further.
In our Arts and Entertainment news, we are happy to report that the GCSE pieces that took place last night in the extremely stuffy but atmospheric drama studio at Coopers Schollage were a Roman triumph that easily wiped the floor with certain A/S pieces that had performed but the previous night. Favourites of this exquisite line-up were widely reported to be 100 and Marat/Sade for the darkly humourous content, whereas Cleansed and 4:48 Psychosis managed to shock, scare and cover the audience in projectile blood. Although Road and Handbag are plays held less highly in this reporter's opinion (since she's OD-d on anti-Thatcherism and the gay nuclear family controversy), but the performances themselves are held highly, particularly A.A Stratford's Scullery, which made me wish I had a shopping trolley too. Stars of the evening in my book? Tom (Knight?), Kate Wilson, Ross Clark, James Webb (who, to quote Ije "oozes sex") and Lauren I-Don't-Know-Her-Surname-Because-The-Program-Wiped-It-Out. This reporter gives the night eighty-one and a half thumbs up.
And now the weather. Today's forecast is Nick Cave accompanied by strawberry jam on toast. This is expected to progress throughout the day. Today's temperature is Happy and Calm, but is expected to give way overnight to Anxiety and a light shower, followed closely by Cold Sweat.
Tomorrow's forecast is Time To Talk To Joe and Sort Out What Happens Next, Getting Explanations, Oh Fuck Fuck Buggery Fuck, which is expected to begin with an alarming rise in Panic closely followed by a fog of Carefully Engineered "Coping, understanding and rational", potentially followed by another light shower and with probability to end with a sharp temperature drop into Apathy.
But who listens to the weather forecast?
x