This journal is friends only, and this is why.
I'm tired of trying to keep track of who knows and who doesn't, so I'm just gonna fucking say it because this is stupid and not something I should have to worry about any more now that I live somewhere where I won't get my ass kicked for it.
I'm Transsexual. FTM, Female-to-Male.
So yeah. Whatevs.
It's not big deal. I mean. I'm still a dude. I always have been. Just think of me as a manufacturer's defect. But hey, factory misprints are rare and collectable, right?
I'm not the most masculine of guys, and I know now that I've said this you're going to jump to the conclusion that it's because I'm "not really a man." Well I have to say a big ol' Fuck You to that. I know some trans guys that could completely emasculate any bio-male just by being in the same room with them. I know some trans guys who are more respectable and chivalrous than even the most debonair gentleman, so it's not about being born without a cock.
In my case, I made some decisions early on that I wasn't going to comprimise my personality for the sake of putting on airs of being overly macho. I'm just being myself, and if that means that I'm a flaming little fag, then whatever, I'm fine with that, it's cool.
You might also ask "Well if you're a gay man now, why didn't you just stay a girl because it woud have been easier to meet boys?" The answer to that is pretty complex, actually. The simple version of it is I was never a chick in the first place so it just wouldn't have worked. The complicated answer is that I thought about that, I've thought about that on several occasions, I even TRIED that, and I felt like such a damn liar that I couldn't do it. It might have been easier, but this isn't about taking the easy way out, it's about being comfortable with myself. And I was NOT comfortable with being a chick. Sometimes I still think about it, when I get depressed and lonely. But I KNOW it makes me feel disgusting. So, I know the decision I've made, and I'm taking the good with the bad.
So yeah. I think that's everything I really need to say. I think that's all the questions I usually end up answering first anyway. I'm tired of having to say it over and over again and I'm tired of having to keep track of who knows and who doesn't. So there. I'm out. Amazing.
You can ask me further questions, but don't be a dick about it. This is one of those things where if you piss me off even once with an offensive remark I'll probably stop associating with you completely. If it's unintentionally offensive I'll forgive you but I HAVE cut people out of my life before for not being able to accept it. Cause I don't need to deal with that shit.
If you know me outside the internet and you see me around don't bloody ask me about this in casual conversation. If I feel like talking about it, I will, but I don't like being confronted. Just email me or something if you have a burning curiosity.
I'm Transsexual. FTM, Female-to-Male.
So yeah. Whatevs.
It's not big deal. I mean. I'm still a dude. I always have been. Just think of me as a manufacturer's defect. But hey, factory misprints are rare and collectable, right?
I'm not the most masculine of guys, and I know now that I've said this you're going to jump to the conclusion that it's because I'm "not really a man." Well I have to say a big ol' Fuck You to that. I know some trans guys that could completely emasculate any bio-male just by being in the same room with them. I know some trans guys who are more respectable and chivalrous than even the most debonair gentleman, so it's not about being born without a cock.
In my case, I made some decisions early on that I wasn't going to comprimise my personality for the sake of putting on airs of being overly macho. I'm just being myself, and if that means that I'm a flaming little fag, then whatever, I'm fine with that, it's cool.
You might also ask "Well if you're a gay man now, why didn't you just stay a girl because it woud have been easier to meet boys?" The answer to that is pretty complex, actually. The simple version of it is I was never a chick in the first place so it just wouldn't have worked. The complicated answer is that I thought about that, I've thought about that on several occasions, I even TRIED that, and I felt like such a damn liar that I couldn't do it. It might have been easier, but this isn't about taking the easy way out, it's about being comfortable with myself. And I was NOT comfortable with being a chick. Sometimes I still think about it, when I get depressed and lonely. But I KNOW it makes me feel disgusting. So, I know the decision I've made, and I'm taking the good with the bad.
So yeah. I think that's everything I really need to say. I think that's all the questions I usually end up answering first anyway. I'm tired of having to say it over and over again and I'm tired of having to keep track of who knows and who doesn't. So there. I'm out. Amazing.
You can ask me further questions, but don't be a dick about it. This is one of those things where if you piss me off even once with an offensive remark I'll probably stop associating with you completely. If it's unintentionally offensive I'll forgive you but I HAVE cut people out of my life before for not being able to accept it. Cause I don't need to deal with that shit.
If you know me outside the internet and you see me around don't bloody ask me about this in casual conversation. If I feel like talking about it, I will, but I don't like being confronted. Just email me or something if you have a burning curiosity.