As yet untitled spuffy wonder 80 prompts fic
Chapter 1
Buffy made her way in the soft afternoon light back home to Revello Drive. Both Xander and Giles had offered to drive her, but when she had declined, each rushed off to their respective homes, thoroughly embarrassed after their roles in the Dracula debacle. Buffy still couldn’t believe she’d actually MET him. The vamp of the ages. The legend himself. That, and she’d beaten him without any issue. Buffy smirked, satisfied that she’d bested the infamous Count.
“Crap!” Buffy muttered to herself, kicking a small rock ahead of her. “I forgot to tell Giles about the crazy monk…”
She’d been on patrol a few nights ago and run into a badly bruised and beaten man on the street in front of one of the empty factories in the old industrial section of town. He’d been heavy on the cryptic when he told her that she was about to receive a gift of ‘great import’ and that she should ‘share the duty with the Champion’. Whatever that meant. She’d been meaning to tell Giles about it when she saw him today, but running into Dracula a couple of days ago had totally thrown her for a loop.
‘I’ll just tell him tomorrow.’ Buffy shrugged her shoulders and opened the front door. She made her way into the kitchen to find her mother at the counter preparing dinner.
Buffy sat down and went through the events of the last few days with her mother, leaving out the more embarrassing bug-eating episodes for the sake of one of her best friends. Joyce smiled over at her only-child, relieved that she had made it home safe, once again.
“Well, I am relieved that everything went as well as it did, sweetheart,” Joyce said, smiling softly at her daughter. “Dracula was charming, but I must admit that it’s nice to know that he won’t be bothering us anymore.”
Buffy was about to respond as the soft cries of an infant filled the room.
“Someone’s hungry,” her mother said with a happy smile. Buffy sighed tiredly but walked toward the direction of the sound.
“It’s okay, Dawnie,” she cooed as she picked up the tiny girl. “Mommy’s got ya. Are you a little hungry, sweetie?” she asked the snuffling infant who was already turning her face into Buffy’s chest.
Buffy grabbed a clean towel from the changing table and proceeded to the rocking chair which sat near the sunlit window. She lowered the straps of her soft blue tank top along with her bra strap and held her girl at her chest. Dawn quickly found the nipple she was so desperately seeking and greedily began suckling. Buffy sighed, this time in contentment, as her child fed and she rocked them in a steady motion.
Buffy had never thought she would ever have children. Being the Slayer meant that she always had to put other people before herself, and a mother could never really do that. But when she had found out that she was pregnant shortly after Christmas, Buffy couldn’t bear the thought of not having the child. It may be her only chance to ever have children, no Slayer that she knew of had ever any, and the news had made her mother so happy. Granted, Joyce hadn’t been too keen on her daughter getting pregnant in her first year of college, but she understood what being the Slayer meant as much as anyone. It may be her only chance to have a grandchild.
Buffy adjusted Dawn to her other breast and let her thoughts drift in the warm afternoon sunshine. During her first visit to the doctor she had learned that she was in fact a couple of months pregnant which came as a surprise. Her first thought had been that Parker, the slimy worm, had to be the culprit considering that she hadn’t even begun a physical relationship with Riley at that stage. But the dates didn’t add up, no matter how hard she tried to make them.
Bringing Dawn to lie over her shoulder, she patted her softly on the back, encouraging her to burp while she continued her trip down memory lane. That meant that there was only one other possible candidate for sperm donor to her child, but even that possibility was so impossible she just discarded it. So, she had let the gang believe it was Parker who was responsible for getting her pregnant. Riley had naturally been upset when she told him, but he stuck around, for a while at least. Long enough to help take down the Initiative and stop Adam from cutting up any more small children. He left with the rest of the unit when the new commanding officer asked him if he wanted to return to active duty in South America. He said it was for the best, and Buffy didn’t have the energy to fight his decision, or the inclination for that matter.
After burping and changing Dawn, Buffy rocked her to sleep, thoughts still drifting back to the past few months. Giles had been furious when he found out. He’d called her irresponsible and inconsiderate. Getting pregnant from a one-night stand and considering keeping the child when her role as the Slayer was so much more important than the fate of one small life. Buffy, Willow, Tara, and Anya had all refused to speak to him for two weeks until he finally relented, apologizing for the things he’d said and went to work searching for any prophecies regarding a pregnant slayer.
Buffy had understood him, of course. Giles wasn’t wrong. Being a pregnant Slayer had been difficult and too many times she had to rely on help from the others or pay Spike to take out the nastier demon issues in town. The spell they had invoked to kill Adam had drained so much of her energy she had stayed in bed for a whole week. But when Dawn was born, Giles had been there in the waiting room with her mother, both bearing the tell-tale signs of soon-to-be grandparents. And Dawn had become the apple of his eye as soon as he’d looked into her larger than life blue eyes.
Which was why Buffy never told him that the only person who could have fathered Dawn was a mass murdering, chipped, soulless vampire. She couldn’t tell Willow either because it was her spell that had caused the events which led to Dawn’s conception. Those few stolen moments alone together in Giles’ bedroom while he was passed out on the sofa, or the time in the bathroom after Xander and Anya were busy distracting the Watcher. Not to mention the fact that Spike had mocked her relentlessly for weeks after discovering out she was pregnant. No, she’d rather keep that secret to herself... and her mother, who’d discovered the truth shortly after Dawn was born.
**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**
Since Joyce had been called to work unexpectedly, Buffy had been forced to bring Dawn with her on her outing with Giles that afternoon. After her run-in with Dracula and factoring in her new-mom status, Buffy had asked Giles to start training her again. He had assigned her a list of thirty odd books to start reading on everything from meditation and holistic balance to fighting techniques and demon origins. They had scheduled a trip to the Magic Box together that afternoon to get them.
“Honestly, Buffy, you don’t have to turn around every three seconds to check on Dawn, she’s fine,” Giles said irritably from his position behind the wheel.
“I know Giles, but it’s her first time in your car, and she’s just no used to it, that’s all,” Buffy replied, turning around again to look at her daughter who was sleeping soundly in her car seat, firmly secured in the back of Giles’ red BMW.
“I do realize that, but at some point you are going to have to trust the rest of us to care for her as well as you or your mother do. She will want to have nights alone as well, or she will have to work like today and you will be forced to leave Dawn in one of the, ahem, Scoobies, rather capable hands,” Giles reminded her as he pulled into a parking spot in front of the Magic Box.
“I know, I know,” Buffy grumbled petulantly as she began extracting the little girl from the cramped back seat.
Giles had already pulled the stroller from the trunk and assembled it as Buffy fussed over her daughter. He couldn’t help but smile though when Buffy handed the squirming, smiling bundle over to him as she packed in the necessary supplies in their designated spots. At least Buffy had become more organized with Dawn’s sudden and unexpected arrival in the world.
“Buffy!” Willow’s voice called to her from across the street. The Slayer looked up and saw the witch and her girlfriend Tara checking both sides of the road before darting across the street towards the trio.
“Hi!” Buffy said brightly, lowering her sunglasses into place and lifting the stroller onto the sidewalk. Dawn had immediately been stolen from the doting Giles to be cradled in Willow’s embrace so the witches could entertain the baby.
“Buffy, come here a second,” Giles’ worried voice cut through the giggling group of women as they cooed over Dawn.
“What’s up?” Buffy asked perkily as she entered the Magic Box only to find the prone body of the owner on the floor behind the counter where Giles’ was kneeling.
“A series of puncture wounds on his neck,” Giles muttered as he checked futilely for the man’s pulse. “Vampires.”
“Oh, great,” Buffy sighed dramatically. “Now when am I going to get my books?”
**~~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**
After a long afternoon spent with the disinterested members of Sunnydale’s finest, and Giles’ discovery that being a Magic store owner in Sunnydale would literally mean money in the bank, Buffy was glad to finally be out patrolling on her own. She was happy for Giles; it seemed he really needed to find something to do with his ample spare time and his vast interest and knowledge of the dark arts would be a perfect match with this new business venture. Added bonus for him being a Watcher also meant he had a Slayer handy should anyone untoward happened to take an interest in the owner instead of the merchandise.
Buffy enjoyed the calm of the cemeteries at night. Sure, her fights with demons and vampires always made her blood sing and her body hum with delight from a well-fought battle, but it was the calm before the storm that really lent itself to reflection. She may not parade her thoughts and philosophies around her friends, but it didn’t mean that she never took the time to consider the larger things in life. Or just life in general. Life with Dawn now.
And thinking about Dawn eventually led her down to that deep, sinful place where she thought about Dawn’s conception. Spike’s cool, hard body beneath her as they moved together on the tiled floor, the giddy happiness of being newly engaged, the way his eyes seemed to light up with hot blue fire whenever he said those three magical words. She had been so amazingly happy, reveling in the feel of his body in her, on her, his fangs in the soft column of his neck, sharing the most intimate act she had ever experienced in her life.
Buffy shook herself, not wanting to let her mind stray down that road... again. It was wrong, Spike didn’t love her, and he didn’t even like her. And he was a vampire. A soulless thing. Beneath her. But how was it that she had never been happier in her whole life, with the exception of Dawn’s birth than those too-few hours of Willow’s spell?
“Thinkin’ those deep thoughts’ll get ya killed, Slayer,” the unmistakable rumble of his voice caused goose bumps to erupt over her skin.
“Speak of the devil,” Buffy muttered, turning to face the vampire intruding into her silent night.
“Wha’s that?” Spike asked suspiciously, eyes narrowing while he studied her. “Thinkin’ about me, were you, pet?”
“Yeah, right, like I would waste my time thinking about you,” Buffy retorted viciously, caught off guard by his appearance, but blushing in undisguised shame at being caught.
“So you weren’t thinkin’ about my tight, li’l body an’ the fun we had back at the Watcher’s place, then?” he moved closer, letting the paper bag he was carrying drop to the ground with a dull thud. He came to a stop as he drew up within arms’ reach of her, tilting his head to the side and openly leering at her.
“Can smell it all over ya, Slayer,” he said softly, advancing another step so that there was barely an inch of air between their bodies. Buffy found her breath catching in her throat, lost in memories of pleasure at the hands of the man standing in front of her, his eyes dark with emotion.
“Spike,” she started softly, not up for a confrontation with him tonight.
“You see, Slayer,” he continued, slowly reaching a hand up to brush a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. “’Ve been doin’ a lot of thinkin’ lately an’ somethin’s occurred to me…”
“Hmm?” Buffy made a questioning sound, dizzied by the feel of his cool hand against her cheek. She hated that she could be so affected by him when they’d only had the one night together. That one horrible mistake that her body replayed over and over again in delighted memory… If only Riley knew the reason she hadn’t let him touch her before she had enough of an excuse with the pregnant belly and hormone fluctuations.
“’Ve been doin’ some arithmetic an’ searchin’ through my memories,” his eyes bore down into hers, forcing her gaze to remain locked with his without a compelling touch. “You know what I’ve come up with?”
Buffy shook her head negatively, dreading what he could have figured out. Any lust addled thoughts quickly draining from her body, panic replacing them and leaving her cheeks pale and her lips tightly drawn. He knew.
“The college boy, he’s not the father, is he?” Spike stared at her, eyes alight in passionate intensity and Buffy found herself shaking her head automatically in honest reply. Spike must have learned something from Drusilla if he could extract these responses from her.
“An’ it couldn’t be corn-fed farm boy,” he added, drawing out the moment torturously. Buffy again shook her head, the lock of hair falling loose from where he had tucked it behind her ear.
“An’ that only leaves one possibility, then,” his tone changed, losing some of the coldness it held earlier, but he continued to stare at her, not moving further away from her. He didn’t continue for a long moment and Buffy couldn’t think of a way to respond to the unspoken question. All she could do was to stare back at him in return, not denying the truth of his implied question.
“’S not possible, Slayer,” Spike finally said, his voice higher pitched, almost panicked. “’S not bloody possible for me to knock you up!”
“I know,” Buffy replied, breaking eye contact and backing away from the obviously distressed vampire.
“Then who else have you spread those delectable legs for?” Two long steps brought him right back into her personal space, angry breaths making his chest heave with emotion. Buffy backed away from him, only to be met with the cool marble of one of the mausoleums with Spike following every movement. When she tried to move around him he placed his hands on either side of her head, leaning in close.
“Tell me,” he growled, almost possessively. She could have pushed him away easily, and his chip would have prevented him from fighting back, but she couldn’t find the will power to do so. The anger that had been so evident in his eyes had faded, replaced by an emotion she couldn’t place. Something she hadn’t seen in him before.
“It’s impossible,” she whispered, avoiding his eyes as her own filled with tears. “But it’s true.”
She had expected him to throw something, stomp around, break tombstones, yell and scream at the sky in disbelief. She had expected him to accuse her of lying, tell her she was a whore, or worse. Anything other than the stunned silence that she was met with. Spike simply turned away from her, picked up his bag, and walked off toward his crypt without so much as a word.
Buffy was too stunned to follow him. She had no idea what to say to him. She couldn’t apologize for keeping it from him. His behavior when he found out she was pregnant had been reminiscent of the Spike she met behind the alley of the Bronze or when he taunted her about Angel in the magic store last year. Sure, he’d never called her any names per se, but his smirks and scoffs had told her enough. He’d never even seen Dawn. She’d made sure of that. He may have seen something he shouldn’t.
**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**
An hour and two cemeteries later Buffy felt the tension drain out of her as she saw the porch light inviting her into her house on Revello Drive. Home where life was a little less complicated. Where her mother would be asleep and her daughter would need her just as she got to her doorway. Where she could sit in that old rocking chair and clear her mind of all thoughts of annoyingly persistent vampires and their role in her and her daughter’s life.
As she was turning the key in the lock at the front door she sensed him. That deep-down bone tingling awareness that only he caused in her. The faint waft of cigarettes and bourbon followed in the soft summer breeze.
“What do you want now?” Buffy sighed, not turning around to acknowledge him behind her. The soft scuffling of boots made her aware of him moving towards her, a courtesy it seemed, as he generally refused to make a sound.
“I-” he started, voice lower and softer than normal. He stopped and cleared his throat, adjusting his duster in a creak of leather. “I want to see her.”
“Fine,” Buffy sighed, casting a glance over her shoulder, seeing him standing there with his head down, so unlike the vampire she knew. Keeping him out would only prove more difficult and she was tired. Dawn would be hungry soon.
Buffy led the way, leaving him to follow her through the doorway, letting him know without words that he’d been welcome in her house all along. He seemed to halt in the doorway, casting a glance at Buffy before turning to close the door softly behind him. Everything about his body language was new, soft, quiet and unsure in a way Buffy had never experienced before.
“Come on,” she whispered, making her way up the stairs as she heard the first small sounds of movement from her daughter’s room. Dawn was awake. She always seemed to sense her. Maybe it was the result of her parentage, Buffy didn’t know.
She stopped at the threshold of Dawn’s room, soft moonlight filling the space with a surreal glow, and looked at Spike. He stared back at her expressionless for a while before sliding his gaze towards the doorway at a sniffle from Dawn.
‘Now or never,’ Buffy thought to herself and walked quickly to the crib. Dawn lay there, staring up with her big blue eyes, almost black in the low light. She smiled in joy when she saw her mother standing over her crib and waved her chubby hands in delight.
“Hi, baby,” Buffy cooed softly, smiling down at the infant before leaning down to lift her up. Dawn responded with a few happy gurgling noises and fastened one strong fist in the material of Buffy’s shirt, ready for her midnight feeding. Buffy smiled again, gently disentangling the small hand and kissing her fingers.
Dawn’s eyes strayed away from Buffy’s face as she detected movement in the room next to her mother. Her smile seemed to fade for a second as she tried to make something tangible out of the shape in the darkness. She flailed her hands in an attempt to communicate her will.
“She wants to see you,” Buffy whispered, her eyes meeting those of the vampire who seemed rooted to the threshold of the baby’s room. Spike seemed paler than usual, his hands flexing unconsciously in his pockets while his attention was solely on the bundle in Buffy’s arms. At her words, his eyes snapped up to meet hers, and he seemed almost afraid.
“She’s not going to bite,” Buffy admonished softly, smiling to set him at ease. She never imagined that she would be coaxing Spike to approach them, but the night had been bizarre enough already, why not let it continue?
Slowly, Spike moved closer until he was standing next to Buffy, eyes fixed again on Dawn. When he’d come close enough for her vision to make out a new face, Dawn’s face immediately lit in a beautiful smile and she gurgled and waved her hands in delight. It seemed she took an immediate liking of him, unlike Xander who couldn’t hold her for over a month without causing ear piercing screams and even now she wasn’t all that comfortable with.
Spike reached out a hand towards the infant, stroking her chubby cheek with one long finger. Dawn immediately reached towards it, grabbing on to the finger with all her might as her fist closed down over the tip. She kicked her feet and Buffy smiled at the antics, her baby had obviously identified something she never thought she would.
“May I?” Spike asked softly, eyes never straying from the baby who happily wiggled in her mother’s arms.
“Sure,” Buffy answered cautiously. “Just make sure to support her neck, just like that,” she added as she handed Dawn over to the vampire.
Spike held her, his face soft as he smiled down at Dawn, and rocked her gently. Buffy was amazed at the transformation in him. His face which was normally all sharp angles and blazing with intensity was transformed before her. The smile he bestowed on Dawn was loving and open, making him look younger and so much more human. When Dawn reached towards him, he obliged, bringing her closer to him so she could reach out and touch his handsome features.
“She looks like my sister did when she was this little,” he murmured softly, surprising Buffy and shaking her out of her day dream.
“You had a baby sister?” she asked.
“I had two sisters and a brother,” he replied, still not looking at the Slayer. “But Amelia was the baby, she was born when I was sixteen and on my way to Oxford.”
“You went to Oxford?” Buffy asked again, shocked. She busied herself by organizing the things she would need to feed and change Dawn.
“Yeah,” Spike replied, frowning when Dawn started to fuss. He shot a helpless glance in her direction and Buffy quickly moved to his side, scooping the now sniffling baby up.
“She’s just hungry,” she assured him, grabbing a large towel off the shelf. “I usually feed her when I get home from patrol.”
Buffy sat down in the rocking chair as per her usual routine, and draped the towel over her shoulder and Dawn so she could feed her without Spike getting a free show. When Dawn was happily suckling, she rested her head back against the chair and prepared herself for what was coming.
“So, I guess you have some questions,” she said, eyes closed to keep reality at bay. Spike, for all his evil faults, had the right to know about his own child. Not that Buffy had too much information for him, she’d tried to research on her own how a vampire could impregnate her, but seeing as she wasn’t much with the researchy skills to begin with, and it all had to be done in secret, she had yet to find anything.
“Yeah, you could say that, luv.” She heard him move restlessly around the room, heard the sound of his Zippo being opened and closed again. Her eyes snapped open, ready to tell him off for smoking, only to find him playing with it instead, no cigarette in sight.
“Why didn’ you tell me?” The question surprised Buffy. It was a fair enough enquiry, but the hurt in his tone threw her off. He stopped pacing abruptly and moved closer to her; careful not to loom over her while he waited for her answer.
“I didn’t know how to,” she said honestly, absently stroking her daughter’s back. “I mean you can’t exactly say you wanted anything to do with me after the spell… And then there’s the whole issue with what you did with Adam, trying to turn my friends against each other. Plus, you’ve been mean to me,” Buffy finished in a childish tone.
“Evil here, pet,” Spike crouched down next to the rocking chair, looking up at her from his new vantage point. “Does anyone know?”
Buffy paused, adjusting Dawn under the towel before answering honestly.
“Mom knows. She used her Mom-spidey-sense and confronted me right before Dawn was born. But she’s the only one,” Buffy admitted, holding his gaze.
“Imagine the Watcher would pitch a fit,” Spike mumbled. “An’ your Mum, what does she think?”
“You’re worried about what my Mother thinks?” Buffy asked skeptically.
“Well, yeah,” Spike shrugged and got back onto his feet to resume pacing. “’side from the fact you didn’ tell me about the li’l bit, it’s inappropriate for me not to have offered you at least some help, Slayer. ‘S just the right thing to do.”
“The right thing to do?” Buffy asked as she pulled her shirt back into place and held Dawn onto her shoulder for burping. “Why would you be interested in the right thing to do? You’re a vampire!”
“So?” Spike turned to look at her sharply. “Me Mum raised a gentleman, an’ I do know right from wrong. I jus’ don’ usually care, is all.”
“But,” Buffy started only to be cut off by the gentleman in question.
“No buts, Slayer,” Spike said hotly, approaching her slowly, obviously in an effort to keep from startling Dawn. “You should have told me as soon as you had it figured. But seein’ as you didn’, I have a right to be involved now. She’s as much mine as she is yours.”
“But-“
“Buffy, please,” Spike kneeled before her. “Do you really think I’d do anythin’ to hurt her even without this soddin’ thing in my brain? I never even dreamed I’d make a vampire childe, let alone have a bub of my own. Let me help.”
Buffy looked at Spike, really looked at him for the first time. She watched his desperation play over his chiseled features, saw the grief and joy intermixed in his eyes, the worried crease between his eyebrows. All of his emotions looked genuine. But, he was a vampire, he couldn’t possibly feel the things he professed he was. Then again, the way his eyes bore into hers made her want to believe him. She had before, even if that was a spell, maybe there was some element of truth behind it all.
“Okay,” she finally sighed, looking away from him. “You can help. Just don’t do anything I’ll have to slay you for, or anything the police should be involved in. I don’t want Dawn growing up with that hanging over her head.”
“Sure, luv, anything you want,” Spike’s eyes practically glowed with joy.
“And, you have to let me tell Giles and the others in my own way, my own time,” Buffy said, rubbing Dawn’s back.
“Fine.”
“And you have to come to dinner tomorrow night so Mom knows to expect you to help out,” Buffy said firmly, giving in to the small voice in her head she had always attributed to her mother.
“Dinner with your mum?” Spike asked, eyeing her. Buffy nodded solemnly. “Right, then, tomorrow night.”
“No swearing, no smoking, no drinking around our child either, mister,” Buffy demanded firmly as she placed a drowsy Dawn in her father’s arms. “That’s ground for no-questions-asked revoking of any Dawn privileges.”
“Agreed, pet,” Spike replied solemnly, cradling their child in his arms as he rocked her to sleep. “You can trust me.”
“I hope so,” Buffy muttered, arranging the blankets and stuffed animals around the crib as she liked before stepping aside to let Spike place her in it.
“She’s really beautiful,” Spike whispered in awe before he leaned down to leave a cool kiss on one of her chubby cheeks.
“Yeah, she really is,” Buffy replied with a soft smile, her life turned upside down in one night.
TBC...
Buffy made her way in the soft afternoon light back home to Revello Drive. Both Xander and Giles had offered to drive her, but when she had declined, each rushed off to their respective homes, thoroughly embarrassed after their roles in the Dracula debacle. Buffy still couldn’t believe she’d actually MET him. The vamp of the ages. The legend himself. That, and she’d beaten him without any issue. Buffy smirked, satisfied that she’d bested the infamous Count.
“Crap!” Buffy muttered to herself, kicking a small rock ahead of her. “I forgot to tell Giles about the crazy monk…”
She’d been on patrol a few nights ago and run into a badly bruised and beaten man on the street in front of one of the empty factories in the old industrial section of town. He’d been heavy on the cryptic when he told her that she was about to receive a gift of ‘great import’ and that she should ‘share the duty with the Champion’. Whatever that meant. She’d been meaning to tell Giles about it when she saw him today, but running into Dracula a couple of days ago had totally thrown her for a loop.
‘I’ll just tell him tomorrow.’ Buffy shrugged her shoulders and opened the front door. She made her way into the kitchen to find her mother at the counter preparing dinner.
Buffy sat down and went through the events of the last few days with her mother, leaving out the more embarrassing bug-eating episodes for the sake of one of her best friends. Joyce smiled over at her only-child, relieved that she had made it home safe, once again.
“Well, I am relieved that everything went as well as it did, sweetheart,” Joyce said, smiling softly at her daughter. “Dracula was charming, but I must admit that it’s nice to know that he won’t be bothering us anymore.”
Buffy was about to respond as the soft cries of an infant filled the room.
“Someone’s hungry,” her mother said with a happy smile. Buffy sighed tiredly but walked toward the direction of the sound.
“It’s okay, Dawnie,” she cooed as she picked up the tiny girl. “Mommy’s got ya. Are you a little hungry, sweetie?” she asked the snuffling infant who was already turning her face into Buffy’s chest.
Buffy grabbed a clean towel from the changing table and proceeded to the rocking chair which sat near the sunlit window. She lowered the straps of her soft blue tank top along with her bra strap and held her girl at her chest. Dawn quickly found the nipple she was so desperately seeking and greedily began suckling. Buffy sighed, this time in contentment, as her child fed and she rocked them in a steady motion.
Buffy had never thought she would ever have children. Being the Slayer meant that she always had to put other people before herself, and a mother could never really do that. But when she had found out that she was pregnant shortly after Christmas, Buffy couldn’t bear the thought of not having the child. It may be her only chance to ever have children, no Slayer that she knew of had ever any, and the news had made her mother so happy. Granted, Joyce hadn’t been too keen on her daughter getting pregnant in her first year of college, but she understood what being the Slayer meant as much as anyone. It may be her only chance to have a grandchild.
Buffy adjusted Dawn to her other breast and let her thoughts drift in the warm afternoon sunshine. During her first visit to the doctor she had learned that she was in fact a couple of months pregnant which came as a surprise. Her first thought had been that Parker, the slimy worm, had to be the culprit considering that she hadn’t even begun a physical relationship with Riley at that stage. But the dates didn’t add up, no matter how hard she tried to make them.
Bringing Dawn to lie over her shoulder, she patted her softly on the back, encouraging her to burp while she continued her trip down memory lane. That meant that there was only one other possible candidate for sperm donor to her child, but even that possibility was so impossible she just discarded it. So, she had let the gang believe it was Parker who was responsible for getting her pregnant. Riley had naturally been upset when she told him, but he stuck around, for a while at least. Long enough to help take down the Initiative and stop Adam from cutting up any more small children. He left with the rest of the unit when the new commanding officer asked him if he wanted to return to active duty in South America. He said it was for the best, and Buffy didn’t have the energy to fight his decision, or the inclination for that matter.
After burping and changing Dawn, Buffy rocked her to sleep, thoughts still drifting back to the past few months. Giles had been furious when he found out. He’d called her irresponsible and inconsiderate. Getting pregnant from a one-night stand and considering keeping the child when her role as the Slayer was so much more important than the fate of one small life. Buffy, Willow, Tara, and Anya had all refused to speak to him for two weeks until he finally relented, apologizing for the things he’d said and went to work searching for any prophecies regarding a pregnant slayer.
Buffy had understood him, of course. Giles wasn’t wrong. Being a pregnant Slayer had been difficult and too many times she had to rely on help from the others or pay Spike to take out the nastier demon issues in town. The spell they had invoked to kill Adam had drained so much of her energy she had stayed in bed for a whole week. But when Dawn was born, Giles had been there in the waiting room with her mother, both bearing the tell-tale signs of soon-to-be grandparents. And Dawn had become the apple of his eye as soon as he’d looked into her larger than life blue eyes.
Which was why Buffy never told him that the only person who could have fathered Dawn was a mass murdering, chipped, soulless vampire. She couldn’t tell Willow either because it was her spell that had caused the events which led to Dawn’s conception. Those few stolen moments alone together in Giles’ bedroom while he was passed out on the sofa, or the time in the bathroom after Xander and Anya were busy distracting the Watcher. Not to mention the fact that Spike had mocked her relentlessly for weeks after discovering out she was pregnant. No, she’d rather keep that secret to herself... and her mother, who’d discovered the truth shortly after Dawn was born.
**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**
Since Joyce had been called to work unexpectedly, Buffy had been forced to bring Dawn with her on her outing with Giles that afternoon. After her run-in with Dracula and factoring in her new-mom status, Buffy had asked Giles to start training her again. He had assigned her a list of thirty odd books to start reading on everything from meditation and holistic balance to fighting techniques and demon origins. They had scheduled a trip to the Magic Box together that afternoon to get them.
“Honestly, Buffy, you don’t have to turn around every three seconds to check on Dawn, she’s fine,” Giles said irritably from his position behind the wheel.
“I know Giles, but it’s her first time in your car, and she’s just no used to it, that’s all,” Buffy replied, turning around again to look at her daughter who was sleeping soundly in her car seat, firmly secured in the back of Giles’ red BMW.
“I do realize that, but at some point you are going to have to trust the rest of us to care for her as well as you or your mother do. She will want to have nights alone as well, or she will have to work like today and you will be forced to leave Dawn in one of the, ahem, Scoobies, rather capable hands,” Giles reminded her as he pulled into a parking spot in front of the Magic Box.
“I know, I know,” Buffy grumbled petulantly as she began extracting the little girl from the cramped back seat.
Giles had already pulled the stroller from the trunk and assembled it as Buffy fussed over her daughter. He couldn’t help but smile though when Buffy handed the squirming, smiling bundle over to him as she packed in the necessary supplies in their designated spots. At least Buffy had become more organized with Dawn’s sudden and unexpected arrival in the world.
“Buffy!” Willow’s voice called to her from across the street. The Slayer looked up and saw the witch and her girlfriend Tara checking both sides of the road before darting across the street towards the trio.
“Hi!” Buffy said brightly, lowering her sunglasses into place and lifting the stroller onto the sidewalk. Dawn had immediately been stolen from the doting Giles to be cradled in Willow’s embrace so the witches could entertain the baby.
“Buffy, come here a second,” Giles’ worried voice cut through the giggling group of women as they cooed over Dawn.
“What’s up?” Buffy asked perkily as she entered the Magic Box only to find the prone body of the owner on the floor behind the counter where Giles’ was kneeling.
“A series of puncture wounds on his neck,” Giles muttered as he checked futilely for the man’s pulse. “Vampires.”
“Oh, great,” Buffy sighed dramatically. “Now when am I going to get my books?”
**~~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**
After a long afternoon spent with the disinterested members of Sunnydale’s finest, and Giles’ discovery that being a Magic store owner in Sunnydale would literally mean money in the bank, Buffy was glad to finally be out patrolling on her own. She was happy for Giles; it seemed he really needed to find something to do with his ample spare time and his vast interest and knowledge of the dark arts would be a perfect match with this new business venture. Added bonus for him being a Watcher also meant he had a Slayer handy should anyone untoward happened to take an interest in the owner instead of the merchandise.
Buffy enjoyed the calm of the cemeteries at night. Sure, her fights with demons and vampires always made her blood sing and her body hum with delight from a well-fought battle, but it was the calm before the storm that really lent itself to reflection. She may not parade her thoughts and philosophies around her friends, but it didn’t mean that she never took the time to consider the larger things in life. Or just life in general. Life with Dawn now.
And thinking about Dawn eventually led her down to that deep, sinful place where she thought about Dawn’s conception. Spike’s cool, hard body beneath her as they moved together on the tiled floor, the giddy happiness of being newly engaged, the way his eyes seemed to light up with hot blue fire whenever he said those three magical words. She had been so amazingly happy, reveling in the feel of his body in her, on her, his fangs in the soft column of his neck, sharing the most intimate act she had ever experienced in her life.
Buffy shook herself, not wanting to let her mind stray down that road... again. It was wrong, Spike didn’t love her, and he didn’t even like her. And he was a vampire. A soulless thing. Beneath her. But how was it that she had never been happier in her whole life, with the exception of Dawn’s birth than those too-few hours of Willow’s spell?
“Thinkin’ those deep thoughts’ll get ya killed, Slayer,” the unmistakable rumble of his voice caused goose bumps to erupt over her skin.
“Speak of the devil,” Buffy muttered, turning to face the vampire intruding into her silent night.
“Wha’s that?” Spike asked suspiciously, eyes narrowing while he studied her. “Thinkin’ about me, were you, pet?”
“Yeah, right, like I would waste my time thinking about you,” Buffy retorted viciously, caught off guard by his appearance, but blushing in undisguised shame at being caught.
“So you weren’t thinkin’ about my tight, li’l body an’ the fun we had back at the Watcher’s place, then?” he moved closer, letting the paper bag he was carrying drop to the ground with a dull thud. He came to a stop as he drew up within arms’ reach of her, tilting his head to the side and openly leering at her.
“Can smell it all over ya, Slayer,” he said softly, advancing another step so that there was barely an inch of air between their bodies. Buffy found her breath catching in her throat, lost in memories of pleasure at the hands of the man standing in front of her, his eyes dark with emotion.
“Spike,” she started softly, not up for a confrontation with him tonight.
“You see, Slayer,” he continued, slowly reaching a hand up to brush a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. “’Ve been doin’ a lot of thinkin’ lately an’ somethin’s occurred to me…”
“Hmm?” Buffy made a questioning sound, dizzied by the feel of his cool hand against her cheek. She hated that she could be so affected by him when they’d only had the one night together. That one horrible mistake that her body replayed over and over again in delighted memory… If only Riley knew the reason she hadn’t let him touch her before she had enough of an excuse with the pregnant belly and hormone fluctuations.
“’Ve been doin’ some arithmetic an’ searchin’ through my memories,” his eyes bore down into hers, forcing her gaze to remain locked with his without a compelling touch. “You know what I’ve come up with?”
Buffy shook her head negatively, dreading what he could have figured out. Any lust addled thoughts quickly draining from her body, panic replacing them and leaving her cheeks pale and her lips tightly drawn. He knew.
“The college boy, he’s not the father, is he?” Spike stared at her, eyes alight in passionate intensity and Buffy found herself shaking her head automatically in honest reply. Spike must have learned something from Drusilla if he could extract these responses from her.
“An’ it couldn’t be corn-fed farm boy,” he added, drawing out the moment torturously. Buffy again shook her head, the lock of hair falling loose from where he had tucked it behind her ear.
“An’ that only leaves one possibility, then,” his tone changed, losing some of the coldness it held earlier, but he continued to stare at her, not moving further away from her. He didn’t continue for a long moment and Buffy couldn’t think of a way to respond to the unspoken question. All she could do was to stare back at him in return, not denying the truth of his implied question.
“’S not possible, Slayer,” Spike finally said, his voice higher pitched, almost panicked. “’S not bloody possible for me to knock you up!”
“I know,” Buffy replied, breaking eye contact and backing away from the obviously distressed vampire.
“Then who else have you spread those delectable legs for?” Two long steps brought him right back into her personal space, angry breaths making his chest heave with emotion. Buffy backed away from him, only to be met with the cool marble of one of the mausoleums with Spike following every movement. When she tried to move around him he placed his hands on either side of her head, leaning in close.
“Tell me,” he growled, almost possessively. She could have pushed him away easily, and his chip would have prevented him from fighting back, but she couldn’t find the will power to do so. The anger that had been so evident in his eyes had faded, replaced by an emotion she couldn’t place. Something she hadn’t seen in him before.
“It’s impossible,” she whispered, avoiding his eyes as her own filled with tears. “But it’s true.”
She had expected him to throw something, stomp around, break tombstones, yell and scream at the sky in disbelief. She had expected him to accuse her of lying, tell her she was a whore, or worse. Anything other than the stunned silence that she was met with. Spike simply turned away from her, picked up his bag, and walked off toward his crypt without so much as a word.
Buffy was too stunned to follow him. She had no idea what to say to him. She couldn’t apologize for keeping it from him. His behavior when he found out she was pregnant had been reminiscent of the Spike she met behind the alley of the Bronze or when he taunted her about Angel in the magic store last year. Sure, he’d never called her any names per se, but his smirks and scoffs had told her enough. He’d never even seen Dawn. She’d made sure of that. He may have seen something he shouldn’t.
**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**
An hour and two cemeteries later Buffy felt the tension drain out of her as she saw the porch light inviting her into her house on Revello Drive. Home where life was a little less complicated. Where her mother would be asleep and her daughter would need her just as she got to her doorway. Where she could sit in that old rocking chair and clear her mind of all thoughts of annoyingly persistent vampires and their role in her and her daughter’s life.
As she was turning the key in the lock at the front door she sensed him. That deep-down bone tingling awareness that only he caused in her. The faint waft of cigarettes and bourbon followed in the soft summer breeze.
“What do you want now?” Buffy sighed, not turning around to acknowledge him behind her. The soft scuffling of boots made her aware of him moving towards her, a courtesy it seemed, as he generally refused to make a sound.
“I-” he started, voice lower and softer than normal. He stopped and cleared his throat, adjusting his duster in a creak of leather. “I want to see her.”
“Fine,” Buffy sighed, casting a glance over her shoulder, seeing him standing there with his head down, so unlike the vampire she knew. Keeping him out would only prove more difficult and she was tired. Dawn would be hungry soon.
Buffy led the way, leaving him to follow her through the doorway, letting him know without words that he’d been welcome in her house all along. He seemed to halt in the doorway, casting a glance at Buffy before turning to close the door softly behind him. Everything about his body language was new, soft, quiet and unsure in a way Buffy had never experienced before.
“Come on,” she whispered, making her way up the stairs as she heard the first small sounds of movement from her daughter’s room. Dawn was awake. She always seemed to sense her. Maybe it was the result of her parentage, Buffy didn’t know.
She stopped at the threshold of Dawn’s room, soft moonlight filling the space with a surreal glow, and looked at Spike. He stared back at her expressionless for a while before sliding his gaze towards the doorway at a sniffle from Dawn.
‘Now or never,’ Buffy thought to herself and walked quickly to the crib. Dawn lay there, staring up with her big blue eyes, almost black in the low light. She smiled in joy when she saw her mother standing over her crib and waved her chubby hands in delight.
“Hi, baby,” Buffy cooed softly, smiling down at the infant before leaning down to lift her up. Dawn responded with a few happy gurgling noises and fastened one strong fist in the material of Buffy’s shirt, ready for her midnight feeding. Buffy smiled again, gently disentangling the small hand and kissing her fingers.
Dawn’s eyes strayed away from Buffy’s face as she detected movement in the room next to her mother. Her smile seemed to fade for a second as she tried to make something tangible out of the shape in the darkness. She flailed her hands in an attempt to communicate her will.
“She wants to see you,” Buffy whispered, her eyes meeting those of the vampire who seemed rooted to the threshold of the baby’s room. Spike seemed paler than usual, his hands flexing unconsciously in his pockets while his attention was solely on the bundle in Buffy’s arms. At her words, his eyes snapped up to meet hers, and he seemed almost afraid.
“She’s not going to bite,” Buffy admonished softly, smiling to set him at ease. She never imagined that she would be coaxing Spike to approach them, but the night had been bizarre enough already, why not let it continue?
Slowly, Spike moved closer until he was standing next to Buffy, eyes fixed again on Dawn. When he’d come close enough for her vision to make out a new face, Dawn’s face immediately lit in a beautiful smile and she gurgled and waved her hands in delight. It seemed she took an immediate liking of him, unlike Xander who couldn’t hold her for over a month without causing ear piercing screams and even now she wasn’t all that comfortable with.
Spike reached out a hand towards the infant, stroking her chubby cheek with one long finger. Dawn immediately reached towards it, grabbing on to the finger with all her might as her fist closed down over the tip. She kicked her feet and Buffy smiled at the antics, her baby had obviously identified something she never thought she would.
“May I?” Spike asked softly, eyes never straying from the baby who happily wiggled in her mother’s arms.
“Sure,” Buffy answered cautiously. “Just make sure to support her neck, just like that,” she added as she handed Dawn over to the vampire.
Spike held her, his face soft as he smiled down at Dawn, and rocked her gently. Buffy was amazed at the transformation in him. His face which was normally all sharp angles and blazing with intensity was transformed before her. The smile he bestowed on Dawn was loving and open, making him look younger and so much more human. When Dawn reached towards him, he obliged, bringing her closer to him so she could reach out and touch his handsome features.
“She looks like my sister did when she was this little,” he murmured softly, surprising Buffy and shaking her out of her day dream.
“You had a baby sister?” she asked.
“I had two sisters and a brother,” he replied, still not looking at the Slayer. “But Amelia was the baby, she was born when I was sixteen and on my way to Oxford.”
“You went to Oxford?” Buffy asked again, shocked. She busied herself by organizing the things she would need to feed and change Dawn.
“Yeah,” Spike replied, frowning when Dawn started to fuss. He shot a helpless glance in her direction and Buffy quickly moved to his side, scooping the now sniffling baby up.
“She’s just hungry,” she assured him, grabbing a large towel off the shelf. “I usually feed her when I get home from patrol.”
Buffy sat down in the rocking chair as per her usual routine, and draped the towel over her shoulder and Dawn so she could feed her without Spike getting a free show. When Dawn was happily suckling, she rested her head back against the chair and prepared herself for what was coming.
“So, I guess you have some questions,” she said, eyes closed to keep reality at bay. Spike, for all his evil faults, had the right to know about his own child. Not that Buffy had too much information for him, she’d tried to research on her own how a vampire could impregnate her, but seeing as she wasn’t much with the researchy skills to begin with, and it all had to be done in secret, she had yet to find anything.
“Yeah, you could say that, luv.” She heard him move restlessly around the room, heard the sound of his Zippo being opened and closed again. Her eyes snapped open, ready to tell him off for smoking, only to find him playing with it instead, no cigarette in sight.
“Why didn’ you tell me?” The question surprised Buffy. It was a fair enough enquiry, but the hurt in his tone threw her off. He stopped pacing abruptly and moved closer to her; careful not to loom over her while he waited for her answer.
“I didn’t know how to,” she said honestly, absently stroking her daughter’s back. “I mean you can’t exactly say you wanted anything to do with me after the spell… And then there’s the whole issue with what you did with Adam, trying to turn my friends against each other. Plus, you’ve been mean to me,” Buffy finished in a childish tone.
“Evil here, pet,” Spike crouched down next to the rocking chair, looking up at her from his new vantage point. “Does anyone know?”
Buffy paused, adjusting Dawn under the towel before answering honestly.
“Mom knows. She used her Mom-spidey-sense and confronted me right before Dawn was born. But she’s the only one,” Buffy admitted, holding his gaze.
“Imagine the Watcher would pitch a fit,” Spike mumbled. “An’ your Mum, what does she think?”
“You’re worried about what my Mother thinks?” Buffy asked skeptically.
“Well, yeah,” Spike shrugged and got back onto his feet to resume pacing. “’side from the fact you didn’ tell me about the li’l bit, it’s inappropriate for me not to have offered you at least some help, Slayer. ‘S just the right thing to do.”
“The right thing to do?” Buffy asked as she pulled her shirt back into place and held Dawn onto her shoulder for burping. “Why would you be interested in the right thing to do? You’re a vampire!”
“So?” Spike turned to look at her sharply. “Me Mum raised a gentleman, an’ I do know right from wrong. I jus’ don’ usually care, is all.”
“But,” Buffy started only to be cut off by the gentleman in question.
“No buts, Slayer,” Spike said hotly, approaching her slowly, obviously in an effort to keep from startling Dawn. “You should have told me as soon as you had it figured. But seein’ as you didn’, I have a right to be involved now. She’s as much mine as she is yours.”
“But-“
“Buffy, please,” Spike kneeled before her. “Do you really think I’d do anythin’ to hurt her even without this soddin’ thing in my brain? I never even dreamed I’d make a vampire childe, let alone have a bub of my own. Let me help.”
Buffy looked at Spike, really looked at him for the first time. She watched his desperation play over his chiseled features, saw the grief and joy intermixed in his eyes, the worried crease between his eyebrows. All of his emotions looked genuine. But, he was a vampire, he couldn’t possibly feel the things he professed he was. Then again, the way his eyes bore into hers made her want to believe him. She had before, even if that was a spell, maybe there was some element of truth behind it all.
“Okay,” she finally sighed, looking away from him. “You can help. Just don’t do anything I’ll have to slay you for, or anything the police should be involved in. I don’t want Dawn growing up with that hanging over her head.”
“Sure, luv, anything you want,” Spike’s eyes practically glowed with joy.
“And, you have to let me tell Giles and the others in my own way, my own time,” Buffy said, rubbing Dawn’s back.
“Fine.”
“And you have to come to dinner tomorrow night so Mom knows to expect you to help out,” Buffy said firmly, giving in to the small voice in her head she had always attributed to her mother.
“Dinner with your mum?” Spike asked, eyeing her. Buffy nodded solemnly. “Right, then, tomorrow night.”
“No swearing, no smoking, no drinking around our child either, mister,” Buffy demanded firmly as she placed a drowsy Dawn in her father’s arms. “That’s ground for no-questions-asked revoking of any Dawn privileges.”
“Agreed, pet,” Spike replied solemnly, cradling their child in his arms as he rocked her to sleep. “You can trust me.”
“I hope so,” Buffy muttered, arranging the blankets and stuffed animals around the crib as she liked before stepping aside to let Spike place her in it.
“She’s really beautiful,” Spike whispered in awe before he leaned down to leave a cool kiss on one of her chubby cheeks.
“Yeah, she really is,” Buffy replied with a soft smile, her life turned upside down in one night.
TBC...