Your Kisses Cut
Title: Your Kisses Cut
Pairing: Gerbert
Rating: PG (a couple naughty words, nothing graphic)
Summary: One little snag and we continued to pull ourselves apart. A letter to Bert from Gerard.
Author: yet2comeundone/my_pen_name
Disclaimer: Fictional, meaning it came from my mind not the world.
Bert,
Nine and a half months together. I enjoyed the first three. We enjoyed the first three. Still giddy and romantic. Puppy love. And then it stopped, like a clock run down with no one to wind it up again.
We went out together every night, but we came home in separate cabs. Not fights, nothing visibly negative. The glue between us just began to dissolve.
Sex was good. Sex is always good with you. It was better when it meant something, though. When we’d stay in one another’s arms until noon, just to be together, and then you’d say ridiculous things about how you loved me. That one thousand stakes driven into your heart could not drive out your love for me. Or something else silly.
And obviously you were right. It took much less to drive me from your heart. What was it? Club girls? I saw the number you took to a private room last week; no way she was even eighteen. Drugs? Maybe time with me took away from time with your dealer. Or worst, did I drive you away? I didn’t mean to. Honest. You made me alive. Being alive as me is the most amazing thing to happen; being alive as me beats the stage me without contest. But…
I don’t remember when we first began to unravel. Maybe that’s just it. One little snag and we continued to pull ourselves apart, like the awful sweaters my mom knits at Christmas. Could we knit ourselves back together? I used to could knit. I learned one year over Christmas break when I got sick and my mom made me help her with gifts. I was eight.
But even if we could, do we want to?
I want to.
Please?
I’ll be the romantic this time. I’ll do the planning and thoughtfulness. I sound desperate. I am desperate, damn it. Desperate to feel your arms around me through the night after we fuck, not just as you fall asleep before rolling over.
I love you. Honest.
I love you. Honest. You still have my heart; for as long as you’ll keep it.
Gerard.