(no subject)
so i guess my christmas break is goin ok..me and grams havent gotten in anyt real fights so i supose thats an accomplishment. but i have to admit a few things are missing in my christmas and i kind of realized this last night while talking to mel. i miss shareing the holidays with that special someone...and my family ((and i dont know if ill ever admit that again)) i miss christmas's when i was little w/ my mom and dad..its just not the same with grams and gramps. i miss us all waking up together and opening presents..but i guess enough of my pitiful childhood..but i also feel like theres another hole...like im still missing something..or should i say someone...and that is specifically evident during the holidays and thats what i hate about the holidays..and i fell selfish bc christams is sopose to be about jesus's birth but all i can really focus on is my emptyness.((sp))
and grams keeps saying help her decprate make cookies etc and i just dont want to..and she just says i dont seem happy anymore..and thats not true bc most of the time i am happy..just ask anyone..its just i get really sad when im alone by myself..so thats just my own fault and the thing w/ the holidays isnt helping..but when im with people i feel much better times 986493264...something about me that i have learned is that im not independant and i would not survive with out the other people that i love.. im just not my happiest unless im w/ someone. witch i guess isnt so bad. but i think the break will be fun ..and im gonna make the best..((you know the glass is half full kinda thing)) of this break..and i believe it will rock..im gonna make sure of it.
and grams keeps saying help her decprate make cookies etc and i just dont want to..and she just says i dont seem happy anymore..and thats not true bc most of the time i am happy..just ask anyone..its just i get really sad when im alone by myself..so thats just my own fault and the thing w/ the holidays isnt helping..but when im with people i feel much better times 986493264...something about me that i have learned is that im not independant and i would not survive with out the other people that i love.. im just not my happiest unless im w/ someone. witch i guess isnt so bad. but i think the break will be fun ..and im gonna make the best..((you know the glass is half full kinda thing)) of this break..and i believe it will rock..im gonna make sure of it.