Daniel Powter knows bad days
The past week has been like my detox- cleansing my system of the stress that seemed to be taking over every aspect of my life. It also helped me to clearly see that something in my life needed to be cut. At this time in my life, that thing is my job as a nanny.
Mind you, saying goodbye to a family who has been generally quite good to me and a child who I love dearly will not be the easiest thing to let go of. I feel as though I've learned so much about myself, about being an adult, and how I would approach motherhood. Things weren't always easy (today showed me that they are still not), but my life with Kelvin has grown from screaming, no's, and a whole lot of frustration to hugs, kisses, and leg-grasps. Some of my biggest trials seemed to include his older sister. Trying to find that imagination I used to thrive off of during my days of "Ship Wreck," "Farmer Girls," and dolls wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Barbies and bossy older sisters have frequently gotten the better of me.
After a wonderful week of de-stressing and procrastination, I finally panicked once and for all last night. I knew that it was time to let it go. As much as it felt as though I was giving up or failing, I knew what I had to do. I went to work this morning and immediately began to cry to my boss. I told her what was going on with me and why I had chosen to resign. It wasn't about them. It was about me. Right now, in my life, it needs to be about me. She was very understanding and things will be soon worked out.
And then the fun part of my day began. We had a good morning, complete with a trip to the pet store. Once Kelvin was in bed and Naomi had had her "quiet time," we decided to go jump on the trampoline. I have mentioned my hatred for all things trampoline-y, but nothing would do justice to describe how I felt the moment I heard Naomi start yelling and screaming. I saw her fall back into the branches and the cactus and my body lit on fire. Here she was, a six-year-old, screaming and writhing and yelling to get all the spikes off of her. Spines ran down her arm and a branch had stuck to her leg. I finally got her inside, called her mom, and tried to comfort her through her constant crying and screaming. Her mom came home and I suggested the ER, just in case she had broken her wrist. Her dad came home to look after Kelvin, who had somehow fallen asleep in the midst of the chaos, so I accompanied them to the hospital.
She's fine, the swelling has gone down, and I left them still sitting in the waiting room. I had to hitch a ride back to their house to get my car- one of those funny moments when you realize who you'd call first in a tense situation. After I got my car back, I turned on the radio, only to hear Daniel Powter's "Bad Day."
I look and feel fried, my middle finger still feels a prick from one of the spines, constantly reminding me what happened under my watch today. My eyes are burning from last night's, this morning's, and this afternoon's crying sessions. I know it's probably nothing compared to the hundred spines sticking out of Naomi's skin or the possibility of a fracture, but the cortisol and adrenaline that has been pumping through my veins today is making me cuh-razy.
I need to go so there will be no editing. Oops!
Mind you, saying goodbye to a family who has been generally quite good to me and a child who I love dearly will not be the easiest thing to let go of. I feel as though I've learned so much about myself, about being an adult, and how I would approach motherhood. Things weren't always easy (today showed me that they are still not), but my life with Kelvin has grown from screaming, no's, and a whole lot of frustration to hugs, kisses, and leg-grasps. Some of my biggest trials seemed to include his older sister. Trying to find that imagination I used to thrive off of during my days of "Ship Wreck," "Farmer Girls," and dolls wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Barbies and bossy older sisters have frequently gotten the better of me.
After a wonderful week of de-stressing and procrastination, I finally panicked once and for all last night. I knew that it was time to let it go. As much as it felt as though I was giving up or failing, I knew what I had to do. I went to work this morning and immediately began to cry to my boss. I told her what was going on with me and why I had chosen to resign. It wasn't about them. It was about me. Right now, in my life, it needs to be about me. She was very understanding and things will be soon worked out.
And then the fun part of my day began. We had a good morning, complete with a trip to the pet store. Once Kelvin was in bed and Naomi had had her "quiet time," we decided to go jump on the trampoline. I have mentioned my hatred for all things trampoline-y, but nothing would do justice to describe how I felt the moment I heard Naomi start yelling and screaming. I saw her fall back into the branches and the cactus and my body lit on fire. Here she was, a six-year-old, screaming and writhing and yelling to get all the spikes off of her. Spines ran down her arm and a branch had stuck to her leg. I finally got her inside, called her mom, and tried to comfort her through her constant crying and screaming. Her mom came home and I suggested the ER, just in case she had broken her wrist. Her dad came home to look after Kelvin, who had somehow fallen asleep in the midst of the chaos, so I accompanied them to the hospital.
She's fine, the swelling has gone down, and I left them still sitting in the waiting room. I had to hitch a ride back to their house to get my car- one of those funny moments when you realize who you'd call first in a tense situation. After I got my car back, I turned on the radio, only to hear Daniel Powter's "Bad Day."
I look and feel fried, my middle finger still feels a prick from one of the spines, constantly reminding me what happened under my watch today. My eyes are burning from last night's, this morning's, and this afternoon's crying sessions. I know it's probably nothing compared to the hundred spines sticking out of Naomi's skin or the possibility of a fracture, but the cortisol and adrenaline that has been pumping through my veins today is making me cuh-razy.
I need to go so there will be no editing. Oops!