Update time.
Fucking bullshit. Everything is spinning so fast I have no clue which way is up anymore. Apparently mother dearest has been massively blowing my price of rent out of proportion. George sat down and calculated my earnings out, based on a 30 hour week and came up with a number of $57 a week. I said I wasn't sure what I was gonna do, live here or with Mitch and I went and laid down. Maybe an hour or so later, around 12:30 or 1 George comes in and sits on my bed and proceeds to tell me how much he actually respects me and that he doesn't want to see me fuck up my life. He then gives me an offer that pisses me off and kind of shocks me all at once. If I go back to school right now, he said he will pay my vehicle insurance for the next year, and I can live here rent free. A bribe. Plain and simple. Mom came out and said it was such, but one made "because they are desperate for me to not screw up my life." I am very pissed because I know things are kind of iffy when it comes to finances, especially after Sam's surgical bill (many thousands of dollars), and now they are saying that they will add another 1575 bucks to everything, just to see me in class. I don't want that kind of damn burden on me. They keep telling me they can afford it but I simply don't believe it. "We can afford it. We want to do it. We don't care. We just want you to go." All this desperation and begging after a week or two of anger and constantly judging me. How the fuck am I supposed to take my mom almost in tears literally begging me to do something? What kind of fucked up emotional games are these people playing? I am so mentally drained all I have been able to do today and last night is stare at the fucking ceiling or sleep. I ended up going to school tonight. George apparently tailed me there, several minutes behind me to make sure I went. I was sitting in my truck before class and I saw him drive by the school. I'm not going to mention it to him. I just got home maybe 40 minutes ago I can't remember a fucking thing that happened at class after I got there. I sat in this emotionally drained trance, just kind of staring at my desk I think. I don't even know if I got any work done. Luckily I get to go to work the next few days. At least at work I don't have to worry about me, only getting the job done. Lately I have almost preferred to be at work. I haven't been hungry lately either. One meal every couple days is about all I even want anymore. That's probably a good thing. I dunno. I am going to stop this long and pointless fucking entry now.