Introduction
This is my first entry for Week 0 of therealljidol. Concrit is welcome.
The first day of kindergarten is very exciting. The little girl doesn't understand why some of the other kids are crying and asking to go home. There are so many toys here! There are books and bean bag chairs. This place is awesome.
Everyone introduces themselves. When it's the little girl's turn, she proudly stands and puts her hands on her hips. "I'm Jennifer. I have a mom and a dad and a dog and a really annoying baby brother who's one. My favorite thing to do is read books. And I like to swim in my gramma's pool." She sits down and is proud of herself for remembering all of that.
The first day of first grade is a little less exciting. She doesn't have the vocabulary yet to describe it, but everyone is more subdued. It's less "Let's go play!" and more "Take your seats, children."
The little girl doesn't stand up to introduce herself when it's her turn. She stays seated. "My name is Jennifer and I have a dad and a mom and a younger brother and a dog named Ellie. I like reading and swimming and playing with friends."
One week after finishing first grade, the little girl's parents tell her they're moving to Georgia. Daddy got a new job there. Mommy tells her that she can decorate her bedroom however she wants, but she can't leave out any pictures of her and Abigail. "Where we're moving, the people there don't like black people, and Abigail is black. We have to pretend not to like them so we can stay safe."
So the first day of second grade arrives and the class is once again introducing themselves. "My name is Jennifer and my favorite thing to do is read. My best friend in the whole world used to be Abigail but she can't be my friend anymore because she's black and people here don't like black people."
They move again three years later, this time to Delaware. The girl's father got another new job. Her mother tells her, "It's time for a fresh start. You can be anyone you want to be. Anyone at all."
There are no teacher-led introductions in fifth grade. Her central Georgia accent gets her a lot of looks and even more questions and taunts. It is gone within that week. During that first week, she hardly says a word. Instead, she studies her classmates and tries to decide who she wants to be in this brand new place. She decides that who she wants to be is someone with friends.
"Hi, I'm Jen," she says to her classmates. "I like riding my bike and climbing trees. Reading is for nerds. I hate reading."
They move again nine months later. Her father got another new job. "You get to start all over again!" her mother says. "Who do you want to be this time?"
The girl doesn't know who she wants to be because she's not really sure she knows who she is. She is introduced to her classmates because it's a small, private school and she's the only new student in her grade. She hardly talks to anyone. Instead, she keeps her head down and does her work. Beyond the initial introduction at the beginning of the year, her classmates are fine with ignoring her.
She starts yet another school in eighth grade. Her parents pulled her out of the private school because she was being bullied to the point she told her parents she wanted to kill herself. "Just be yourself" her mother tells her as she's getting on the bus for the first day.
She sits down in homeroom with the intention of just getting through the day. She is surprised when the girl next to her says "You're new, right? I'm Laura. You should sit with me and my friends at lunch."
At lunch, they sit down together at a large table filled with girls. Laura announces to everyone, "This is Jen. She's new so be nice. Being new sucks." Then, she points to each of the girls and introduces them. It is amazing. She finally has friends again. They call her to hang out. They go bowling together. They go to the movies.They walk around the mall - unsupervised!
But it doesn't last. Dad gets another new job and they have to move again. Her mother tries to get her excited. "You can start over again. Starting over can be fun because you get to be whoever you want to be!"
So by the start of ninth grade, she gives up. There are no introductions. She only talks to people when she had to. Introductions sometimes lead to friendships, and she is tired of losing friends.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
So that girl is now 32-year-old me. I'm happy to say that I've come a long way since high school, though I've still got a long way to go.
I did AmeriCorps *NCCC after high school. It's a kind of domestic Peace Corps. We worked in a homeless shelter in Sacramento, built houses with Habitat for Humanity in Hawaii, and cleared hiking trails in Arizona.
After AmeriCorps, I went to college and graduated with a Bacelors in Communications. Right now, I'm working as a page designer for our local newspaper (which is going to be tons of fun on election day - yeesh!). I also have a part-time job working with infants and toddlers at a gym.
Once the holidays are over, I'm going to start a job search. I need a new job, less because I'm so used to changing every few years (I've been at the newspaper job since 2008, which is longer than any house I've ever lived in) and more because I'm tired of being broke. There's nowhere to advance at the newspaper and I can't work full time at the gym.
So hello, everyone. I'm Jen. I'm not entirely sure who I am or what I want to do when I grow up, but I'm learning more and more each day; and I think that counts for something.
The first day of kindergarten is very exciting. The little girl doesn't understand why some of the other kids are crying and asking to go home. There are so many toys here! There are books and bean bag chairs. This place is awesome.
Everyone introduces themselves. When it's the little girl's turn, she proudly stands and puts her hands on her hips. "I'm Jennifer. I have a mom and a dad and a dog and a really annoying baby brother who's one. My favorite thing to do is read books. And I like to swim in my gramma's pool." She sits down and is proud of herself for remembering all of that.
The first day of first grade is a little less exciting. She doesn't have the vocabulary yet to describe it, but everyone is more subdued. It's less "Let's go play!" and more "Take your seats, children."
The little girl doesn't stand up to introduce herself when it's her turn. She stays seated. "My name is Jennifer and I have a dad and a mom and a younger brother and a dog named Ellie. I like reading and swimming and playing with friends."
One week after finishing first grade, the little girl's parents tell her they're moving to Georgia. Daddy got a new job there. Mommy tells her that she can decorate her bedroom however she wants, but she can't leave out any pictures of her and Abigail. "Where we're moving, the people there don't like black people, and Abigail is black. We have to pretend not to like them so we can stay safe."
So the first day of second grade arrives and the class is once again introducing themselves. "My name is Jennifer and my favorite thing to do is read. My best friend in the whole world used to be Abigail but she can't be my friend anymore because she's black and people here don't like black people."
They move again three years later, this time to Delaware. The girl's father got another new job. Her mother tells her, "It's time for a fresh start. You can be anyone you want to be. Anyone at all."
There are no teacher-led introductions in fifth grade. Her central Georgia accent gets her a lot of looks and even more questions and taunts. It is gone within that week. During that first week, she hardly says a word. Instead, she studies her classmates and tries to decide who she wants to be in this brand new place. She decides that who she wants to be is someone with friends.
"Hi, I'm Jen," she says to her classmates. "I like riding my bike and climbing trees. Reading is for nerds. I hate reading."
They move again nine months later. Her father got another new job. "You get to start all over again!" her mother says. "Who do you want to be this time?"
The girl doesn't know who she wants to be because she's not really sure she knows who she is. She is introduced to her classmates because it's a small, private school and she's the only new student in her grade. She hardly talks to anyone. Instead, she keeps her head down and does her work. Beyond the initial introduction at the beginning of the year, her classmates are fine with ignoring her.
She starts yet another school in eighth grade. Her parents pulled her out of the private school because she was being bullied to the point she told her parents she wanted to kill herself. "Just be yourself" her mother tells her as she's getting on the bus for the first day.
She sits down in homeroom with the intention of just getting through the day. She is surprised when the girl next to her says "You're new, right? I'm Laura. You should sit with me and my friends at lunch."
At lunch, they sit down together at a large table filled with girls. Laura announces to everyone, "This is Jen. She's new so be nice. Being new sucks." Then, she points to each of the girls and introduces them. It is amazing. She finally has friends again. They call her to hang out. They go bowling together. They go to the movies.They walk around the mall - unsupervised!
But it doesn't last. Dad gets another new job and they have to move again. Her mother tries to get her excited. "You can start over again. Starting over can be fun because you get to be whoever you want to be!"
So by the start of ninth grade, she gives up. There are no introductions. She only talks to people when she had to. Introductions sometimes lead to friendships, and she is tired of losing friends.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
So that girl is now 32-year-old me. I'm happy to say that I've come a long way since high school, though I've still got a long way to go.
I did AmeriCorps *NCCC after high school. It's a kind of domestic Peace Corps. We worked in a homeless shelter in Sacramento, built houses with Habitat for Humanity in Hawaii, and cleared hiking trails in Arizona.
After AmeriCorps, I went to college and graduated with a Bacelors in Communications. Right now, I'm working as a page designer for our local newspaper (which is going to be tons of fun on election day - yeesh!). I also have a part-time job working with infants and toddlers at a gym.
Once the holidays are over, I'm going to start a job search. I need a new job, less because I'm so used to changing every few years (I've been at the newspaper job since 2008, which is longer than any house I've ever lived in) and more because I'm tired of being broke. There's nowhere to advance at the newspaper and I can't work full time at the gym.
So hello, everyone. I'm Jen. I'm not entirely sure who I am or what I want to do when I grow up, but I'm learning more and more each day; and I think that counts for something.