(no subject)
I just feel like writing something that no one can see. I felt like the biggest loser. I cried this morning in front of everyone. I lost my challenge...how embarassing. Not only did I lose...but I cried. What a fucking loser. I'm sure that's what everybody is thinking right now. Oh well. I can't change the past. I didn't wear one of Mike's necklaces...maybe that's why I had a horrible day. I miss him right now. It's 7 months this Sunday. How exciting. He's an amazing boy...we've fought a lot, but I'm hoping the bad part is over. I really do love him. I couldn't imagine myself without him. Maybe it's because we've been together so long...and it's not even that long!!! Only half of a year. A little over. He should be moving back really soon. That would do me well. I need to heal myself, right now I'm just so hurt. Raw almost. And I think that's why I've been crying so much lately. As if anything that goes wrong...even if it doesn't involve me...hurts me. What the hell is wrong with that picture.
I'm a strange individual.
and I don't think that's a good thing.
I think I'm just way out of wack.
I can't keep friends.
They just end up annoying me.
That makes me a bitch.
I'm nice to people.
But it's not believed by any. (myself included)
So that makes me fake.
There is something kind of wrong with not being able to believe in oneself.
I'm a strange individual.
and I don't think that's a good thing.
I think I'm just way out of wack.
I can't keep friends.
They just end up annoying me.
That makes me a bitch.
I'm nice to people.
But it's not believed by any. (myself included)
So that makes me fake.
There is something kind of wrong with not being able to believe in oneself.