Ancient Wounds pt 14i
Time casts a strange and mysterious shadow over events in one’s life, none so obscuring as immortality herself.
I may, at a glance, ponder back on what has been in my life and see events in the most fulfilling detail, and yet of what is yet to come I am blind to.
My precious one, my childe and lover, you are what connects me to that uncertain future.
There are times I have sought to set you free, fearing your safety or simply to cast you out that you might have your own life, but each of those times has brought you back home to me.
It is for that reason I believe that we are one another’s destiny.
The times you have asked me what you mean to me number the very stars in the heavens, and each time I answer the same-
“My prize” I reply, eyes sleepy with coming morning “through eternity I have earned you”
Does it not sound beautiful? Simple, yes, simple, but beautiful.
I believe with my entirety that you are my conclusion to a perilous existence, a gift given to me for my life’s hardships as payment for all my self-sacrifice.
I smile quietly to myself at the thought that perhaps many years ago, fate had brought you into this world knowing that I would make you mine.
Enough of these complicated thoughts, these introspective ideas. My eyes and thoughts are only full of you now.
“Kiss me,” you whisper on the city street into the sweet air, scarlet deliberately left on your full lips.
We kiss in the fading dark, its 1am and you’ve had your mouthful for the night. We kiss softly and prolonged, as men kiss.
The blood that rushes through you makes you warm under my hands, and as your heart beats fast , my eyes shut tight in our kiss I could almost swear you are alive again.
My heart swells for that young man barely eighteen on the street corner decades before where we stand, I tell you that I love him, you tell me that it’s enough.
I consider for a moment taking you home and ravishing you, but you kiss me again and remind me that while the air is still warm and the streets still dark, that we have all the time in the world for that.
-------------------------------<3
The April rains were upon us when Emmanuel told me that it was now our time to leave.
I was so overjoyed I could scarcely resist kissing him, even in the presence of his family when we readied his affects and scurried about his house.
I of course would take nothing with me to this new land, for I knew it would be foolish to linger in the place where my Master slept.
We were to leave for the port that very nightfall in order to make it there in time for the dawn’s departure by sea, there would be a carriage at sundown ready for us and a team of lean mares to take us there.
Every fibre of my being told me that my suffering would be over, and that I was to have the happiness I deserved with the man who had made it all possible.
The very thought of being free made my heart choke in my throat and teas well up in my eyes, I’d waited so long.
Emmanuel had grown more anxious in these coming months, more worried and refusing my advances, I had drilled it to myself that this was all normal as to our situation, but my suspicions were trying to get the best of me.
I watched him gathering small possessions in his chambers from the hallway, drifting into my own world as he and his mother spoke quickly to one another about something I paid no attention to.
He sighed, she scowled. They had quarrelled over something he had refused to mention many times that month, and again in the early morning. I did not think to highly of it.
For what did it matter for arguments now?
Later that afternoon when we were alone I lay as if falling asleep with him, looking deep into his haunting orbs my mind nowhere in particular.
“Do you love me?” I smiled eyes shut, calm and sleepy.
“More than anything” He sighed, kissing my forehead meekly “you know that”
I laughed lightly and ran my fingertips through his loose blonde hair.
“Indeed I do”
We were quiet for a while, before I spoke.
“Why does your mother raise her voice to you so often now?” I whispered kissing his neck, body entwined with his.
“Mm,” he yawned, discomforted “Don’t worry yourself over it. Family things. Things that won’t matter when were gone”
I was annoyed that he was keeping things from me, but I settled for knowing at least everything was alright. I sighed in defeat.
“As long as you say so, kulta”
We stayed there for the longest time, that by the evening I was reluctant to let go of him. And as I breathed the sweet sigh of relief as our carriage arrived on the rainy cobbled street, I never even thought my entire life was about to completely fall apart.
------------------------------------------<3
I may, at a glance, ponder back on what has been in my life and see events in the most fulfilling detail, and yet of what is yet to come I am blind to.
My precious one, my childe and lover, you are what connects me to that uncertain future.
There are times I have sought to set you free, fearing your safety or simply to cast you out that you might have your own life, but each of those times has brought you back home to me.
It is for that reason I believe that we are one another’s destiny.
The times you have asked me what you mean to me number the very stars in the heavens, and each time I answer the same-
“My prize” I reply, eyes sleepy with coming morning “through eternity I have earned you”
Does it not sound beautiful? Simple, yes, simple, but beautiful.
I believe with my entirety that you are my conclusion to a perilous existence, a gift given to me for my life’s hardships as payment for all my self-sacrifice.
I smile quietly to myself at the thought that perhaps many years ago, fate had brought you into this world knowing that I would make you mine.
Enough of these complicated thoughts, these introspective ideas. My eyes and thoughts are only full of you now.
“Kiss me,” you whisper on the city street into the sweet air, scarlet deliberately left on your full lips.
We kiss in the fading dark, its 1am and you’ve had your mouthful for the night. We kiss softly and prolonged, as men kiss.
The blood that rushes through you makes you warm under my hands, and as your heart beats fast , my eyes shut tight in our kiss I could almost swear you are alive again.
My heart swells for that young man barely eighteen on the street corner decades before where we stand, I tell you that I love him, you tell me that it’s enough.
I consider for a moment taking you home and ravishing you, but you kiss me again and remind me that while the air is still warm and the streets still dark, that we have all the time in the world for that.
-------------------------------<3
The April rains were upon us when Emmanuel told me that it was now our time to leave.
I was so overjoyed I could scarcely resist kissing him, even in the presence of his family when we readied his affects and scurried about his house.
I of course would take nothing with me to this new land, for I knew it would be foolish to linger in the place where my Master slept.
We were to leave for the port that very nightfall in order to make it there in time for the dawn’s departure by sea, there would be a carriage at sundown ready for us and a team of lean mares to take us there.
Every fibre of my being told me that my suffering would be over, and that I was to have the happiness I deserved with the man who had made it all possible.
The very thought of being free made my heart choke in my throat and teas well up in my eyes, I’d waited so long.
Emmanuel had grown more anxious in these coming months, more worried and refusing my advances, I had drilled it to myself that this was all normal as to our situation, but my suspicions were trying to get the best of me.
I watched him gathering small possessions in his chambers from the hallway, drifting into my own world as he and his mother spoke quickly to one another about something I paid no attention to.
He sighed, she scowled. They had quarrelled over something he had refused to mention many times that month, and again in the early morning. I did not think to highly of it.
For what did it matter for arguments now?
Later that afternoon when we were alone I lay as if falling asleep with him, looking deep into his haunting orbs my mind nowhere in particular.
“Do you love me?” I smiled eyes shut, calm and sleepy.
“More than anything” He sighed, kissing my forehead meekly “you know that”
I laughed lightly and ran my fingertips through his loose blonde hair.
“Indeed I do”
We were quiet for a while, before I spoke.
“Why does your mother raise her voice to you so often now?” I whispered kissing his neck, body entwined with his.
“Mm,” he yawned, discomforted “Don’t worry yourself over it. Family things. Things that won’t matter when were gone”
I was annoyed that he was keeping things from me, but I settled for knowing at least everything was alright. I sighed in defeat.
“As long as you say so, kulta”
We stayed there for the longest time, that by the evening I was reluctant to let go of him. And as I breathed the sweet sigh of relief as our carriage arrived on the rainy cobbled street, I never even thought my entire life was about to completely fall apart.
------------------------------------------<3