Last Update: 75 weeks ago
A year and a half goes by a lot faster than you would think. I quickly glanced over some of my "most recent" posts. I don't think that I can identify with, needless to say remember, most of the things that I was concerned with. Obviously, I was having a lot of trouble at home. I know now that none of that was my fault and that I was always blamed for things that weren't my fault. It's amazing, the ways in which you grow after you think that you're grown up. It is also amazing, the things which you learn that you thought you already knew. I mean, I am probably the most confused person on the planet on any given day, but I am a lot less confused now than I have ever been in my life.
A year and a half ago, I still didn't have a plan for my future, and I didn't know what I wanted to major in. I felt like a failure because I didn't have my drivers license, and I felt like a failure because I didn't have a job. Now I just think that jobs are over rated, and most people that work and are able to buy nice things usually have crappy grades. I'd rather just put myself in debt and get the most out of college that I can.
One of the side effects of waiting until I was 19 to get my drivers license is that I am now a horribly precise, law abiding driver who is easily pissed off by people who are stupid on the road. I waited until I was ready. People who fail to use their turn signals REALLY get to me, but that's my cross to bear.
Either way, I have been living in Fullerton for the past three months and going to school at CSUF. I graduated from IVC with distinctions and an AA in History and Social Science... a lot to brag about, right? Well, for me, it is. I was never a very focused student. I thought that high school was a waste of time, and to be honest, it was. I can't think of very many people who actually did anything with themselves. Of coarse, I am speaking of the people who bragged about going off to college. Where are they now? A lot of them never left. A lot of them went away for a year and then moved back home. Some are married. Some have kids. Some went off to community colleges. Some went to universities and stayed there. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to leave. I don't think that I could have taken another summer at home. Things got really bad the last year. On multiple occasions I found myself hysterically looking for apartments online. I don't really want to get into it. The past is the past.
I really love being away from the valley. It is sad not to have any friends up here, but it is also a relief. I like being able to just exist. Imperial was so small that everyone thought that they knew you before they even talked to you. People got ideas in their heads of what you were supposed to be and painted you as such, trying their hardest to turn you into the person who they thought you were. Maybe high school would have been tolerable in a different city. Maybe existing would have been better.
I hope that I will update this thing more often. I got into this groove where I thought that blogging and journal writing was entirely too self involved. It's really not.
A year and a half ago, I still didn't have a plan for my future, and I didn't know what I wanted to major in. I felt like a failure because I didn't have my drivers license, and I felt like a failure because I didn't have a job. Now I just think that jobs are over rated, and most people that work and are able to buy nice things usually have crappy grades. I'd rather just put myself in debt and get the most out of college that I can.
One of the side effects of waiting until I was 19 to get my drivers license is that I am now a horribly precise, law abiding driver who is easily pissed off by people who are stupid on the road. I waited until I was ready. People who fail to use their turn signals REALLY get to me, but that's my cross to bear.
Either way, I have been living in Fullerton for the past three months and going to school at CSUF. I graduated from IVC with distinctions and an AA in History and Social Science... a lot to brag about, right? Well, for me, it is. I was never a very focused student. I thought that high school was a waste of time, and to be honest, it was. I can't think of very many people who actually did anything with themselves. Of coarse, I am speaking of the people who bragged about going off to college. Where are they now? A lot of them never left. A lot of them went away for a year and then moved back home. Some are married. Some have kids. Some went off to community colleges. Some went to universities and stayed there. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to leave. I don't think that I could have taken another summer at home. Things got really bad the last year. On multiple occasions I found myself hysterically looking for apartments online. I don't really want to get into it. The past is the past.
I really love being away from the valley. It is sad not to have any friends up here, but it is also a relief. I like being able to just exist. Imperial was so small that everyone thought that they knew you before they even talked to you. People got ideas in their heads of what you were supposed to be and painted you as such, trying their hardest to turn you into the person who they thought you were. Maybe high school would have been tolerable in a different city. Maybe existing would have been better.
I hope that I will update this thing more often. I got into this groove where I thought that blogging and journal writing was entirely too self involved. It's really not.