brace yourself. and i apologize in advance
ok so basically i cannot deal with my life anymore. what started out as an amazing summer changed quickly.
allison left for chicago thursday and doesn't come back to late tomorrow night. my aunt, uncle, and her three kids came and are still here (minus my uncle).
and as of 3 minutes ago i am not talking to my mom. whenever company comes she acts like a completely different person. in fact she turns into a completely different person. take for example the bad mood she has had towards me since friday. lets think about this. friday i got up at 6:40 - brought michael to golf, came back home, cleaned the whole house and made the beds. got michael at 11:30. went to the mall - bought all of my brothers clothes, nothing for me. came home just in time for hell to roll in on wheels. my aunt arrives with her 3 children. THEY DO NOT FIT IN IN THIS HOUSE. there oldest is 5, our youngest is 10. and since they go to bed at 7:30 we are all expected to go to bed at 7:30. i think not. she is being completely ridiclous. ok so next day. saturday. she leaves again. i am dying because of my meds. i get up make breakfast and do lunch for everyone. NOBODY helps clean up and i do it all by myself. i then went to my bed where i passed out for 7 hours and when i woke up at 7:30 she was to busy with the little boys to actually ask how i was doing. sunday = a hellish trip up to niagara falls, where i got yelled at for my driving when i was hte one following her and she was the one who couldn't decide how fast or slow she wanted to drive. monday = fourth of july. and she said it was fine for people to come over. well we come back after fireworks and she is being the royal bitch. thanks mom. you ARE sweet. today well she was just again to busy to talk to me at all, until i told my dad that he gets me a hotel room or i am leaving for the rest of the week and will come back when they leave. becaause oh yea. aidan who is 2 has been sleeping in my room. or micahel. NOT cool. i am so sick of it.
so my mom finally comes to "talk" after my dad yells at her for calling me on the cell phone to inform me from downstairs that someone called for my while my aunt was on the other line and she didn't feel like picking it up. it is not her house. she should have answered the damn call waiting. she can act like her life is hard, she chose to have 3 kids. don't whine to me and complain that i am not here. remember how my back is so bad that i can barely walk and none of you have noticed.
soo she comes in and is like blah blah. and blames it all on me. ok mom you and you bad mood can take yourself out of my room. and don't expect me to talk to you at all. don't take my car. don't comment on what i eat. dont say anything. be a hypocrit. blame the no college shopping done on me go for it. you are the one who it always too "busy" with the boys.
really. i do not feel loved. for the first time in my life i am getting along better with my father. and really. i cannot even stand to look at my hypocrit of a mother.
and then there is the boyfriend. who basically acts like my boyfriend only when its me and him. weird. tonight weirded me out. he came to the softball game and didn't say a single thing to me. that was cute. and then went back home? when we all were planning on going out. thanks love.
soo i get home and the people that were allowed to come over before are no longer allowed to come over. thanks again. and so i call. well he is busy anyways with pat and will hang out later. i was in tears. he failed to notice. so i don't even know if he really counts as my boyfriend. and the fact that i have the feeling that when august 17th comes he is just gonna be like ok we are over, doesn't help the whole situation. neither does my mother who fails to listen to me and doesn't even know that he is my boyfriend.
really. this may seem ridiclous to you. but if you were here my mom is making my life a living hell, by making me seem like the worst person ever when all i have tried to do is accomdate little children and an aunt into my life, my house, and MY room.
little does she realize that i babysit 3 kids all day just to come home to a house that is just is annoying and crazy. the same job that i want to quit is my life right now. and it sucks. more than you could imagine.
oh yea. and the comments that basically imply i am fat are not cool. i may not be as skinny as i was before, but for once i am actually eating well, exercising, and feeling good about myself. so shove it up your ass, because you just wish you could fit into my clothes.
my back hurts more than ever. really. this is one of the top 10 bad times. but its not like my mom has noticed, or anyone for that matter.
i need a hug. a really big one. because right now it seems like its not gonna get better for a while and that nobody cares. i want my boyfriend to be my bestfriend again. and my bestfriend to come back from chicago. and mostly i just need my life back.
sorry. sorry that this is so long, and probably really redundant.i just needed to get it out
allison left for chicago thursday and doesn't come back to late tomorrow night. my aunt, uncle, and her three kids came and are still here (minus my uncle).
and as of 3 minutes ago i am not talking to my mom. whenever company comes she acts like a completely different person. in fact she turns into a completely different person. take for example the bad mood she has had towards me since friday. lets think about this. friday i got up at 6:40 - brought michael to golf, came back home, cleaned the whole house and made the beds. got michael at 11:30. went to the mall - bought all of my brothers clothes, nothing for me. came home just in time for hell to roll in on wheels. my aunt arrives with her 3 children. THEY DO NOT FIT IN IN THIS HOUSE. there oldest is 5, our youngest is 10. and since they go to bed at 7:30 we are all expected to go to bed at 7:30. i think not. she is being completely ridiclous. ok so next day. saturday. she leaves again. i am dying because of my meds. i get up make breakfast and do lunch for everyone. NOBODY helps clean up and i do it all by myself. i then went to my bed where i passed out for 7 hours and when i woke up at 7:30 she was to busy with the little boys to actually ask how i was doing. sunday = a hellish trip up to niagara falls, where i got yelled at for my driving when i was hte one following her and she was the one who couldn't decide how fast or slow she wanted to drive. monday = fourth of july. and she said it was fine for people to come over. well we come back after fireworks and she is being the royal bitch. thanks mom. you ARE sweet. today well she was just again to busy to talk to me at all, until i told my dad that he gets me a hotel room or i am leaving for the rest of the week and will come back when they leave. becaause oh yea. aidan who is 2 has been sleeping in my room. or micahel. NOT cool. i am so sick of it.
so my mom finally comes to "talk" after my dad yells at her for calling me on the cell phone to inform me from downstairs that someone called for my while my aunt was on the other line and she didn't feel like picking it up. it is not her house. she should have answered the damn call waiting. she can act like her life is hard, she chose to have 3 kids. don't whine to me and complain that i am not here. remember how my back is so bad that i can barely walk and none of you have noticed.
soo she comes in and is like blah blah. and blames it all on me. ok mom you and you bad mood can take yourself out of my room. and don't expect me to talk to you at all. don't take my car. don't comment on what i eat. dont say anything. be a hypocrit. blame the no college shopping done on me go for it. you are the one who it always too "busy" with the boys.
really. i do not feel loved. for the first time in my life i am getting along better with my father. and really. i cannot even stand to look at my hypocrit of a mother.
and then there is the boyfriend. who basically acts like my boyfriend only when its me and him. weird. tonight weirded me out. he came to the softball game and didn't say a single thing to me. that was cute. and then went back home? when we all were planning on going out. thanks love.
soo i get home and the people that were allowed to come over before are no longer allowed to come over. thanks again. and so i call. well he is busy anyways with pat and will hang out later. i was in tears. he failed to notice. so i don't even know if he really counts as my boyfriend. and the fact that i have the feeling that when august 17th comes he is just gonna be like ok we are over, doesn't help the whole situation. neither does my mother who fails to listen to me and doesn't even know that he is my boyfriend.
really. this may seem ridiclous to you. but if you were here my mom is making my life a living hell, by making me seem like the worst person ever when all i have tried to do is accomdate little children and an aunt into my life, my house, and MY room.
little does she realize that i babysit 3 kids all day just to come home to a house that is just is annoying and crazy. the same job that i want to quit is my life right now. and it sucks. more than you could imagine.
oh yea. and the comments that basically imply i am fat are not cool. i may not be as skinny as i was before, but for once i am actually eating well, exercising, and feeling good about myself. so shove it up your ass, because you just wish you could fit into my clothes.
my back hurts more than ever. really. this is one of the top 10 bad times. but its not like my mom has noticed, or anyone for that matter.
i need a hug. a really big one. because right now it seems like its not gonna get better for a while and that nobody cares. i want my boyfriend to be my bestfriend again. and my bestfriend to come back from chicago. and mostly i just need my life back.
sorry. sorry that this is so long, and probably really redundant.i just needed to get it out