This is sort of Disturbing
Ok, so this was a conversation I had with one of the guys in my guild for Star Wars Galaxies back in the day, the date on this conversation is: 10-11-03. What was funny is this is the entire conversation, no filler to explain everything before or after. It just happened. Hard and wack list at bottom.
Moltar512 (4:58:25 PM): elvis was a fat cowby named bruce cambell
DarkHelmet72 (4:58:35 PM): ok....
DarkHelmet72 (4:58:37 PM): good to know
Moltar512 (4:58:55 PM): how goes you on your travels to the woodland realm?
DarkHelmet72 (4:59:36 PM): excellent, the wood nymphs have not attacked/ravaged me yet and the grass elfs have given me a map
Moltar512 (5:00:17 PM): excellent! and have the slyphs and the centaurs made peace again? they were at war as of late
DarkHelmet72 (5:01:10 PM): indeed they have, for the realm is finally at peace again. But I hear of rumors from the far east that there is a great rising of fairys!
DarkHelmet72 (5:01:35 PM): We must be on our guard...for these fairys posses the greatest of magical powers.....
DarkHelmet72 (5:01:46 PM): Wang Shrinking!
Moltar512 (5:02:28 PM): Hah! Indeed! When the Balors from the Abyss rise is the day i fear a rising of fairies!! I shall quiver in front of their tiny blades and their silly flapping wings
Moltar512 (5:03:00 PM): Wang shrinking?!?! not that forgotten, terrible knowledge of old!
Moltar512 (5:03:29 PM): they must have learned it from the necromancers to the south, those damned war mongers
Moltar512 (5:03:41 PM): don't the fairies see they are marching to their doom?
DarkHelmet72 (5:04:43 PM): No young sir, for the great white magicians of old have blinded them with "fairy dust", the magic of the orcs!
DarkHelmet72 (5:05:00 PM): Terrible times ahead indeed, terrible times.
Moltar512 (5:05:49 PM): it looks as if i shall have to don my Hero's Garb and prevent this terrible war that is going to ensue.. won't u help me on my quest?
DarkHelmet72 (5:06:52 PM): Asking isnt something that should need to be unvieled, for the time is at hand and my steel has already been unsheathed and my Great Helm dusted off!
DarkHelmet72 (5:07:37 PM): Hurry! We must gather more for this brewing war!
DarkHelmet72 (5:08:05 PM): Call all the townspeople! The Councilers! Even the Democrats!
Moltar512 (5:08:06 PM): two great warriors on an adventure! all we lack now are a healing maiden, a scholar of magic, and a cat sex slave!
DarkHelmet72 (5:08:15 PM): Indeed!
DarkHelmet72 (5:08:31 PM): A cat sex slave would be of most help to us!
Moltar512 (5:09:32 PM): shall we be off to Provokia? I hear they are gathering the Light Warriors there.. perhaps they can be of assistance. At the very least we can stop by the White Magician Guild to gather a healing wench
DarkHelmet72 (5:10:45 PM): Alas a true warrior to be set on travels with thine! Provokia we shall go. WE will need horses and weapons. Are you good with a bow?
DarkHelmet72 (5:11:37 PM): I have heard that Provokia has the best hunters in all the land. Surely there will be one kind soul willing to make us a bow.
Moltar512 (5:12:40 PM): aye, i am not proficient in the art of the bow, but my axe is second to none, and i weild the mighty blade of Angband!
DarkHelmet72 (5:13:31 PM): Angband!? You shudder the words of an ancient evil not spoken in these parts for a millenia. Tell me, where did you get his mighty axe?
Moltar512 (5:13:54 PM): i also possess the ring of Isildur, a gift from the Lady Galadriel. She said someone of stout heart could weild it and others would succum... i have yet to see it's magic
DarkHelmet72 (5:14:29 PM): Ahh yes, the ring of the fair and ture, I have heard it only works on midgets.
Moltar512 (5:14:52 PM): The might blade of Angband is no axe, but a black blade forged with cursed metal deep within the heart of Mount Doom. I took it from the Witch King the last time i smote him from Dol Aman
Moltar512 (5:15:41 PM): Arg! if this be true, then this band of gold be no use to me.. I am far from a midget, so says my 2 wives anyway! hahah!
DarkHelmet72 (5:16:20 PM): Ah yes your 2 wives also told me that!
DarkHelmet72 (5:16:36 PM): I mean, that you are not...er... a midget...
Moltar512 (5:17:26 PM): Avast! Any man that be interested in the size of my lower member shall gain access to the tip of my blade though a gash in his belly!
DarkHelmet72 (5:18:25 PM): Eager warrior, for I do not wish to begin the brawing of blood with my own! Save your anger for the Inc Fairies! For they will surely try to take away from you everything that makes doust a man!
Moltar512 (5:19:21 PM): Those scurvy theives! Let us make haste for Provokia! But first.. can i borrow a bit of gold?
DarkHelmet72 (5:20:14 PM): Gold? Gold is scarce for even the king in these days. Gold is something I have none of. For we must pillage Provokia for all that is worth!
Moltar512 (5:22:21 PM): Aye, it is a sad day indeed for those that wish to save the world must pillage in order to fund their quest..... Oh well... I say we start with the women and children.... I found a magic blade that has magical damage against their type
Moltar512 (5:22:48 PM): plus, the children my try to take my ring!
Moltar512 (5:22:53 PM): err. may
DarkHelmet72 (5:23:38 PM): for someone has rang my bell, i must see who it is! BRB!
DarkHelmet72 (5:31:14 PM): Sorry kind sir, for the wood nymphs have found my humble home and were attacking, luckily I had Grantons Sword in thine hand and held them off long enough to pour the boiling oil on them!
Moltar512 (5:32:02 PM): Excellent! Nothing is better than a hot, naked, well oiled wood nymph!
DarkHelmet72 (5:32:30 PM): Indeed! For I have filmed it!
Moltar512 (5:33:27 PM): can i borrow this film? in exchange, i can shair a bit of this harpy ooze... good for lubricating.. swords for.. peneration
DarkHelmet72 (5:34:22 PM): Aye you can good horny sir, but I am well supplied on the ooze, for i have a years supply
Moltar512 (5:35:25 PM): haha! i suspect u have had your years supply for many years.. hahaha.. Your luck with the town wenches is worse than my accuracy with a bow!
DarkHelmet72 (5:36:51 PM): But you must remember, your luck with the young blacksmith apprentice is about as good as mine with Harods Sword of Might!
DarkHelmet72 (5:41:54 PM): Lets make haste, for dawn is upon us. Night brings with it Skeletors and Golems! These creaturees are not put at bay without a fight!
DarkHelmet72 (5:43:29 PM): For we must have Calistas Blade of Truth to even scratch their magic armor!
DarkHelmet72 (5:52:23 PM): lol
DarkHelmet72 (5:52:25 PM): wrong personSession concluded at 6:15:47 PM
Hard:
1) Being commanded to do things by a capable equal at work and biting your tongue.
2) Catching Darren in capture the flag.
3) Knowing I have work tommorow.
Wack:
1) Mesawest.
2) Never finding the opposing teams flag.
3) People who don't like the new Star Wars.
-love chris
Moltar512 (4:58:25 PM): elvis was a fat cowby named bruce cambell
DarkHelmet72 (4:58:35 PM): ok....
DarkHelmet72 (4:58:37 PM): good to know
Moltar512 (4:58:55 PM): how goes you on your travels to the woodland realm?
DarkHelmet72 (4:59:36 PM): excellent, the wood nymphs have not attacked/ravaged me yet and the grass elfs have given me a map
Moltar512 (5:00:17 PM): excellent! and have the slyphs and the centaurs made peace again? they were at war as of late
DarkHelmet72 (5:01:10 PM): indeed they have, for the realm is finally at peace again. But I hear of rumors from the far east that there is a great rising of fairys!
DarkHelmet72 (5:01:35 PM): We must be on our guard...for these fairys posses the greatest of magical powers.....
DarkHelmet72 (5:01:46 PM): Wang Shrinking!
Moltar512 (5:02:28 PM): Hah! Indeed! When the Balors from the Abyss rise is the day i fear a rising of fairies!! I shall quiver in front of their tiny blades and their silly flapping wings
Moltar512 (5:03:00 PM): Wang shrinking?!?! not that forgotten, terrible knowledge of old!
Moltar512 (5:03:29 PM): they must have learned it from the necromancers to the south, those damned war mongers
Moltar512 (5:03:41 PM): don't the fairies see they are marching to their doom?
DarkHelmet72 (5:04:43 PM): No young sir, for the great white magicians of old have blinded them with "fairy dust", the magic of the orcs!
DarkHelmet72 (5:05:00 PM): Terrible times ahead indeed, terrible times.
Moltar512 (5:05:49 PM): it looks as if i shall have to don my Hero's Garb and prevent this terrible war that is going to ensue.. won't u help me on my quest?
DarkHelmet72 (5:06:52 PM): Asking isnt something that should need to be unvieled, for the time is at hand and my steel has already been unsheathed and my Great Helm dusted off!
DarkHelmet72 (5:07:37 PM): Hurry! We must gather more for this brewing war!
DarkHelmet72 (5:08:05 PM): Call all the townspeople! The Councilers! Even the Democrats!
Moltar512 (5:08:06 PM): two great warriors on an adventure! all we lack now are a healing maiden, a scholar of magic, and a cat sex slave!
DarkHelmet72 (5:08:15 PM): Indeed!
DarkHelmet72 (5:08:31 PM): A cat sex slave would be of most help to us!
Moltar512 (5:09:32 PM): shall we be off to Provokia? I hear they are gathering the Light Warriors there.. perhaps they can be of assistance. At the very least we can stop by the White Magician Guild to gather a healing wench
DarkHelmet72 (5:10:45 PM): Alas a true warrior to be set on travels with thine! Provokia we shall go. WE will need horses and weapons. Are you good with a bow?
DarkHelmet72 (5:11:37 PM): I have heard that Provokia has the best hunters in all the land. Surely there will be one kind soul willing to make us a bow.
Moltar512 (5:12:40 PM): aye, i am not proficient in the art of the bow, but my axe is second to none, and i weild the mighty blade of Angband!
DarkHelmet72 (5:13:31 PM): Angband!? You shudder the words of an ancient evil not spoken in these parts for a millenia. Tell me, where did you get his mighty axe?
Moltar512 (5:13:54 PM): i also possess the ring of Isildur, a gift from the Lady Galadriel. She said someone of stout heart could weild it and others would succum... i have yet to see it's magic
DarkHelmet72 (5:14:29 PM): Ahh yes, the ring of the fair and ture, I have heard it only works on midgets.
Moltar512 (5:14:52 PM): The might blade of Angband is no axe, but a black blade forged with cursed metal deep within the heart of Mount Doom. I took it from the Witch King the last time i smote him from Dol Aman
Moltar512 (5:15:41 PM): Arg! if this be true, then this band of gold be no use to me.. I am far from a midget, so says my 2 wives anyway! hahah!
DarkHelmet72 (5:16:20 PM): Ah yes your 2 wives also told me that!
DarkHelmet72 (5:16:36 PM): I mean, that you are not...er... a midget...
Moltar512 (5:17:26 PM): Avast! Any man that be interested in the size of my lower member shall gain access to the tip of my blade though a gash in his belly!
DarkHelmet72 (5:18:25 PM): Eager warrior, for I do not wish to begin the brawing of blood with my own! Save your anger for the Inc Fairies! For they will surely try to take away from you everything that makes doust a man!
Moltar512 (5:19:21 PM): Those scurvy theives! Let us make haste for Provokia! But first.. can i borrow a bit of gold?
DarkHelmet72 (5:20:14 PM): Gold? Gold is scarce for even the king in these days. Gold is something I have none of. For we must pillage Provokia for all that is worth!
Moltar512 (5:22:21 PM): Aye, it is a sad day indeed for those that wish to save the world must pillage in order to fund their quest..... Oh well... I say we start with the women and children.... I found a magic blade that has magical damage against their type
Moltar512 (5:22:48 PM): plus, the children my try to take my ring!
Moltar512 (5:22:53 PM): err. may
DarkHelmet72 (5:23:38 PM): for someone has rang my bell, i must see who it is! BRB!
DarkHelmet72 (5:31:14 PM): Sorry kind sir, for the wood nymphs have found my humble home and were attacking, luckily I had Grantons Sword in thine hand and held them off long enough to pour the boiling oil on them!
Moltar512 (5:32:02 PM): Excellent! Nothing is better than a hot, naked, well oiled wood nymph!
DarkHelmet72 (5:32:30 PM): Indeed! For I have filmed it!
Moltar512 (5:33:27 PM): can i borrow this film? in exchange, i can shair a bit of this harpy ooze... good for lubricating.. swords for.. peneration
DarkHelmet72 (5:34:22 PM): Aye you can good horny sir, but I am well supplied on the ooze, for i have a years supply
Moltar512 (5:35:25 PM): haha! i suspect u have had your years supply for many years.. hahaha.. Your luck with the town wenches is worse than my accuracy with a bow!
DarkHelmet72 (5:36:51 PM): But you must remember, your luck with the young blacksmith apprentice is about as good as mine with Harods Sword of Might!
DarkHelmet72 (5:41:54 PM): Lets make haste, for dawn is upon us. Night brings with it Skeletors and Golems! These creaturees are not put at bay without a fight!
DarkHelmet72 (5:43:29 PM): For we must have Calistas Blade of Truth to even scratch their magic armor!
DarkHelmet72 (5:52:23 PM): lol
DarkHelmet72 (5:52:25 PM): wrong personSession concluded at 6:15:47 PM
Hard:
1) Being commanded to do things by a capable equal at work and biting your tongue.
2) Catching Darren in capture the flag.
3) Knowing I have work tommorow.
Wack:
1) Mesawest.
2) Never finding the opposing teams flag.
3) People who don't like the new Star Wars.
-love chris