Space Oddity
I was just sitting here at work and out of nowhere I kind of focused on nothing and the strangeness of the situation kind of struck me. I was sitting on my chair, swinging back and forth, with manual about insurance selling in my hand, reading through the personal valuables insurance section. I'm sitting in this call centre in Australia, listening to Al behind me talking to someone about their Myer account and interest applied onto it, with Terry (a greek aussie guy) sitting where I'm facing not taking a call, and then Aseem from India walks over to his seat in a bright orange polo shirt and there's Michael Jacksons 'They way you make me feel' on the stereo system overhead. Every now and then you stop and go 'what the hell is going on and how did I get here?' and after a second of 2 of quick analysis you just accept it as the situation you've known for months but haven't really questioned very much. I look at my toolbar on my PC sometimes and see I've got 3 message boxes open from friends I'm talking to.. today was Kirsti, Al and Michael and I kinda say.. You know what, that's cool. Makes you feel like you belong for a minute, not like your watching everything from the outside like it sometimes feels when you don't feel like your connected to anything. Even meeting the new people in our group.. Lucas, Trung, Louie.. People that will come in for now, and then go, and seemed to have served no service at all except when they go you notice you miss that smile or that sly joke you had with them or the way you looked at them in a certain way and recognised something of yourself in there that you forgot you possessed in the first place. Perhaps it's something they've given you about yourself, you just don't know but you realise that reflection isn't there once they go. I guess life is easily lived in a surreal haze where you're waiting for it start but before you know it feels like it's about to end. Occasionally you wake up and see everything for what it is and it makes you feel alive for a second. Sometimes it makes you feel the opposite and it's those times that motivate you into living, even if it's painful to think you've been blinded in the dark for so long when you didn't even realise the light was off. You wonder, of all the people in the world, how did I end up at this time in this day with these ones. And truly, how old are some of these people? Or the souls that exist within them? Is that reflection, so vague and hidden and perhaps unrecognisable that seem to shine to you from those around you, a flicker of recognition from a time passed? People and times are fascinating if you dare to lose yourself in the concepts so far reached from the tangible reality in which we survive. Sometimes it feels like a blessing to be here, and other times a burden but none the less the intangible things of people and time itself is a miracle. Isn't it weird that the athiest will belittle the believer of things he feels but cannot see, yet that same athiest would never question the passing of time or the movement of trees in the wind?
I feel I have babbled enough :)
I feel I have babbled enough :)