Why Julian Sands is Awesome
This post is brought to you by the re-revelation (I knew this, then forgot it) that Anne Rice once wanted Julian Sands to play Lestat.
You can't know how much that delights me. Mostly because Julian Sands MAKES NO SENSE and this, to me, makes him perfect. It's not that I necessarily see him as Lestat. It's not so much that I care about Lestat. But Julian Sands? as Lestat?
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE BETTER?
I can't think of a single thing that would have contributed more to my worldly happiness than this. Just the fact it was a possibility, if even a narrow one, fills me with glee. (Let's ignore the fact she supposedly later vouched for Leonardo diCaprio.) I don't really have any explanation as to why this is, unless the following serves to make it clear:
1. The first time I saw him in anything (I think it was probably Impromptu), I thought, "what a weird way to play this character. What is he doing with his voice? And his expressions? How fascinating that Liszt is so weird." It was only later that I realized that this is how he talks. He's just weird. IN EVERYTHING. It's sort of like how I think Ralph Fiennes talks funny, in the back of his mouth or something, only Fiennes can actually act. Which doesn't mean I don't love Sands and I intend to see every one of his movies.
2. Impromptu. He plays Franz Liszt. In a movie with Mandy Patinkin, Bernadette Peters, Judy Davis, Emma Thompson, and Hugh Grant. He and Grant!Chopin play Beethoven's 6th on a piano with four hands and at the end they switch places for the last chord and hug! It's adorable! He and Bernadette Peters yell at each other a lot. This movie is inexplicably joyous.
3.
Dario Argento's Phantom of the Opera. He plays the Phantom. Who looks like Julian Sands with longer hair. Asia Argento plays Christine. You can see her nipples. The phantom has telepathy! And lots of sex! And was raised by rats! There isn't enough crack in the world to make this movie make sense. He's not deformed, he doesn't teach Christine how to sing, Raoul's a pretty nice guy who helps him out, he spends a lot of time sexing Christine or letting rats crawl all over him. But it's amazing.
4. Which reminds me, Boxing Helena. Directed by David Lynch's daughter, who seems to have inherited the weird without the requisite awesome. Luckily she's inherited Audrey--I mean Sherilyn Fenn, who gets in an accident and is "saved" when Julian Sands amputates her legs. Only to keep her hidden away in his mansion! He's so pathetic in this movie I can't even describe it. He hangs around outside her house, literally in a tree, spying on her and leatherpants!Bill Paxton. He's friends with Art Garfunkel. There's a terrible twist ending. This movie should be so much awesome, and somehow isn't, except for how hilarious it actually is. Also, this cover? Amazing.
When we watched it, tkp and I decided he was Draco and Paxton was Harry. I don't remember who Audrey was. It doesn't even matter.
5. Photographic evidence in case you're not convinced:
ETA: I forgot I made this:
The One with the Rats by ~my-daroga on deviantART
I don't know what's going on with John Malkovich there, but I wish I did.
You can't know how much that delights me. Mostly because Julian Sands MAKES NO SENSE and this, to me, makes him perfect. It's not that I necessarily see him as Lestat. It's not so much that I care about Lestat. But Julian Sands? as Lestat?
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE BETTER?
I can't think of a single thing that would have contributed more to my worldly happiness than this. Just the fact it was a possibility, if even a narrow one, fills me with glee. (Let's ignore the fact she supposedly later vouched for Leonardo diCaprio.) I don't really have any explanation as to why this is, unless the following serves to make it clear:
1. The first time I saw him in anything (I think it was probably Impromptu), I thought, "what a weird way to play this character. What is he doing with his voice? And his expressions? How fascinating that Liszt is so weird." It was only later that I realized that this is how he talks. He's just weird. IN EVERYTHING. It's sort of like how I think Ralph Fiennes talks funny, in the back of his mouth or something, only Fiennes can actually act. Which doesn't mean I don't love Sands and I intend to see every one of his movies.
2. Impromptu. He plays Franz Liszt. In a movie with Mandy Patinkin, Bernadette Peters, Judy Davis, Emma Thompson, and Hugh Grant. He and Grant!Chopin play Beethoven's 6th on a piano with four hands and at the end they switch places for the last chord and hug! It's adorable! He and Bernadette Peters yell at each other a lot. This movie is inexplicably joyous.
3.
Dario Argento's Phantom of the Opera. He plays the Phantom. Who looks like Julian Sands with longer hair. Asia Argento plays Christine. You can see her nipples. The phantom has telepathy! And lots of sex! And was raised by rats! There isn't enough crack in the world to make this movie make sense. He's not deformed, he doesn't teach Christine how to sing, Raoul's a pretty nice guy who helps him out, he spends a lot of time sexing Christine or letting rats crawl all over him. But it's amazing.
4. Which reminds me, Boxing Helena. Directed by David Lynch's daughter, who seems to have inherited the weird without the requisite awesome. Luckily she's inherited Audrey--I mean Sherilyn Fenn, who gets in an accident and is "saved" when Julian Sands amputates her legs. Only to keep her hidden away in his mansion! He's so pathetic in this movie I can't even describe it. He hangs around outside her house, literally in a tree, spying on her and leatherpants!Bill Paxton. He's friends with Art Garfunkel. There's a terrible twist ending. This movie should be so much awesome, and somehow isn't, except for how hilarious it actually is. Also, this cover? Amazing.
When we watched it, tkp and I decided he was Draco and Paxton was Harry. I don't remember who Audrey was. It doesn't even matter.
5. Photographic evidence in case you're not convinced:
ETA: I forgot I made this:
The One with the Rats by ~my-daroga on deviantART
I don't know what's going on with John Malkovich there, but I wish I did.