Don't just stare like you never cared

[my_daroga]

As I wrote in lawgrrl_23's journal, "Selfless, Cold and Composed" is one of my favorite songs of all time. I think it hurts me because I feel like I'm the person he's singing to. I could be that girl.

Comments

Re: I'm a babe in a glass case

[seraphcelene]

Hmmm ... the coldness thing has always been something people associated with me or stuck up and intimidating and that never bothered me because I never really paid enough attention to it. In reality, it was me being shy me, something that I've grown out of alot as I've gotten older, but when I don't know someone there is a reticence that people misread as aloofness and detachment. At the same time, to be fair, I'm not always interested in people or things that other people are interested in and I've never been good at pretending otherwise (read faking enthusiasm). I've learned to better make the chit chat but I'm not the best in new social situations because I usually don't care enough about people I don't know to make the effort, except sometimes I really click with someone right off the bat.

What does bother me is that as I've gotten older and because I do have a lot of self-confidence and I don't make the extra effort to pretend to be someone that I am not I get called mean alot. The truth is that I don't really lie often or well. Even me on LJ, pretty much what you see is what you get, although, admittedly, you guys get to see me be geeky and tnthusiastic a lot more than the rest of the world because we have this common bond of LJ and fandom.

However, I can't bring myself to change and so I'm still called mean, although I've threatened people that if they want to continue calling me mean then I will show them what it means for me to be mean. What I am is straight forward and honest. I do make an effort not to hurt people's feelings, to couch any statements so that they're not just argh, you suck, but I won't tell you something that isn't true. If that dress is ugly on you then I'll tell you it's ugly and you need to change before we leave the house. If you just did something really stupid, I'll let you know that, too.

And you shouldn't have to compromise yourself in order to have friends. There are people who will love you for you, there may not be a whole boat load of them, but do you really need the kind of false, tenseness that comes with trying to change youself for a whole lot of people who may or may not have the realtionship with you that you think you do. (if that made any sense at all.)