FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
i dont want to break up with him but i feel like i have to because thats what every one wants. and joel can just fuck off and die for all i care because hes just jealous. well dont worry fucker you dont have to be any more you got what you wanted you got you precious Mat. because obviously he doesnt want me.
for those of you who didnt read the blog this is what the fat fuck said (joel)
RainingBlood138: boobies
neverending816: penis?
RainingBlood138: obviously
neverending816: uh huh.
neverending816: is mat with you.
RainingBlood138: no
RainingBlood138: he should be coming to pick me up soon
RainingBlood138: we're gonna go get trashed
neverending816: i need to talk to him. but like always hes not answering.
RainingBlood138: oh yeah? gonna break up with him yet? lol
neverending816: if he wants to then i guess but i wasnt planning on it.
RainingBlood138: oh lame
RainingBlood138: whats so important
neverending816: why do you want us apart?
RainingBlood138: i'll tell him so he can consider calling
RainingBlood138: cause you're an idiot and mat would be better off without you
neverending816: and what does he think?
RainingBlood138: shit if I care
neverending816: and how come before you were telling me that i could do better than him.
RainingBlood138: alright, off to party, he honked
neverending816: why change the story
RainingBlood138: well i was wrong
RainingBlood138: you cant
RainingBlood138: but he can
RainingBlood138: hopefully tonight he will
RainingBlood138: muahaha
RainingBlood138: off to party
RainingBlood138: fatty
neverending816: not funny
RainingBlood138: not kidding
RainingBlood138 signed off at 8:35:19 PM.
i went to oliveras with grace after he left and i felt alot better after about an hour of Venting with people. but i feel so worn out from being so worked up.
i was so upset that i was an inch away from passing out. i even threw up, i havent thrown up sence 3rd grade. then grace came to the door. i bent my rings and put a hole in my wal and hurt my heel. ive NEVER in my life been so upset. i dont know what to do. i know what i have to do but i cant. its just too hard. i mean come on now I LOVE HIM!! but i figure sence he doesnt care about me then why is he with me and if he wants to go out with joel and get wasted and mess around with other girls then i should just let him go have his life how he wants it. i know he doesnt care about me because when i need him hes not here, when i call he doesnt answer, when im hurt he laughs, when joel makes fun of me he laughs.so im just goign to let him be who he wants to be.and if he wants his life with me in it then he has to change. i want him to get rid of joel but i couldnt ever ask some one to stop being friends with some one else. my friend Hank made me feel cared about tonight but hes like Hard Core Gay<3
i really wish i could just die knowing im loved by some one i love.
..fuck life..
tell me what you think