(no subject)
heyy.
i have been hurt really bad in the past few days so i thought i would whip out the lj and rant.
sometimes people don't intend things to happen, but when they do, they would rather it be put away forever. sometimes they regret it. but you know that it will come out eventually because things like those never seem to disappear really. and when they do, you become terrified, scared, betrayed, confused, and above all, lonely. unforgiving things follow in a cause and effect manner and you begin to wonder if these people who have said to be your best friends all along, are really worth the fight. after all the pain through cursings out and hate phone calls and publically anounced hate letters, you begin to wonder if what you did was really worth all this. that by wanting to keep your privacy you end up in pain. you start to ask the question, would i have done this to them if the tables were turned? would i have acted in such a way as to not pick up the phone when the other was willing to talk to me and reason it out instead of going through the rest of our lives hating eachother? and i can honestly say, no. i would not. if friends mean so much to you, then why do you go through all the trouble to lose one? i said sorry countless times and i thought what i did couldn't be beat by another act like mine, but i was wrong. i was very wrong. the things you have done to me exceed my doings and i hope you feel good. i hope that you feel amazing after causing so much pain over privacy. i hope that every night you can say to yourself, thank god i can go through life like this whenever i feel like it because it's great. enjoy that feeling. it wont last. i might look like the bad one now, or i may look like the one who has caused all the pain, but slowly the tables are turning. and through all this, people will see how you treat your friends. i tried helping it. i tried. and thats the most i can do.
i have been hurt really bad in the past few days so i thought i would whip out the lj and rant.
sometimes people don't intend things to happen, but when they do, they would rather it be put away forever. sometimes they regret it. but you know that it will come out eventually because things like those never seem to disappear really. and when they do, you become terrified, scared, betrayed, confused, and above all, lonely. unforgiving things follow in a cause and effect manner and you begin to wonder if these people who have said to be your best friends all along, are really worth the fight. after all the pain through cursings out and hate phone calls and publically anounced hate letters, you begin to wonder if what you did was really worth all this. that by wanting to keep your privacy you end up in pain. you start to ask the question, would i have done this to them if the tables were turned? would i have acted in such a way as to not pick up the phone when the other was willing to talk to me and reason it out instead of going through the rest of our lives hating eachother? and i can honestly say, no. i would not. if friends mean so much to you, then why do you go through all the trouble to lose one? i said sorry countless times and i thought what i did couldn't be beat by another act like mine, but i was wrong. i was very wrong. the things you have done to me exceed my doings and i hope you feel good. i hope that you feel amazing after causing so much pain over privacy. i hope that every night you can say to yourself, thank god i can go through life like this whenever i feel like it because it's great. enjoy that feeling. it wont last. i might look like the bad one now, or i may look like the one who has caused all the pain, but slowly the tables are turning. and through all this, people will see how you treat your friends. i tried helping it. i tried. and thats the most i can do.