already almost a week and a half:
and prepping/practicing for cheryl's show is starting to get to me.
today at practice, i didn't feel in my regular hula groove.
i felt so unmotivated and disconnected from what i was doing.
dude even made suggestions like referring to the feeling of loving someone & what that person would make you do because you're so in wrapped in that bliss. and i really could not..i could not even to pretend that it was a full 12 months before to grasp the idea of how we were supposed to be looking like while dancing.
i just kept thinking "i can't do this. i don't wanna do this. i wanna just storm outta here. i don't give a fuck anymore."
^that is not good. i have never thought that about dancing hula in the past 7 years. i hated it when those younger girls would complain about it the way i was, and say that they should just get outta here if they feel like that. so you could imagine my disappointment of my discouraged and angered attitude about dancing hula.
maybe my solution is to displace it. just place that love or even liking attitude toward another, actual person that i know.
i think justin would be a good candidate. he funny, sweet, tall, dark and handsome. and he doesn't insult my taste in music, not as much as other people, as he flipped through my iPod nano on thursday night. yeah, as lame as i sound, i think i'll "use" him in that way. but hm...do i like him? i'll try to figure that out. hmmm...crazy driving kid from chino hills who is so tall that the lifeguard at huntington beach last time mistook him as a drowning kid......hahahaha! :D he's a great guy. no more jerks for me. hopefully.
today at practice, i didn't feel in my regular hula groove.
i felt so unmotivated and disconnected from what i was doing.
dude even made suggestions like referring to the feeling of loving someone & what that person would make you do because you're so in wrapped in that bliss. and i really could not..i could not even to pretend that it was a full 12 months before to grasp the idea of how we were supposed to be looking like while dancing.
i just kept thinking "i can't do this. i don't wanna do this. i wanna just storm outta here. i don't give a fuck anymore."
^that is not good. i have never thought that about dancing hula in the past 7 years. i hated it when those younger girls would complain about it the way i was, and say that they should just get outta here if they feel like that. so you could imagine my disappointment of my discouraged and angered attitude about dancing hula.
maybe my solution is to displace it. just place that love or even liking attitude toward another, actual person that i know.
i think justin would be a good candidate. he funny, sweet, tall, dark and handsome. and he doesn't insult my taste in music, not as much as other people, as he flipped through my iPod nano on thursday night. yeah, as lame as i sound, i think i'll "use" him in that way. but hm...do i like him? i'll try to figure that out. hmmm...crazy driving kid from chino hills who is so tall that the lifeguard at huntington beach last time mistook him as a drowning kid......hahahaha! :D he's a great guy. no more jerks for me. hopefully.