What the fuck
Well i have been back sence yesterday im not doing to well i miss my gram so much life just seems to get harder every time i see her im not gonna be here for long ill be in berlin for 3 months then i am moving down there with her to help her and make sure things are ok i had lots of fun down there i seen my aunt and my cuzins that i ahve not seen for 7 years thay all looked so good i am going to live with my aunt which is close to my gram that way i can go over when ever i want i sat and cryed for 4 hours i dont wanna be here there is nothing here for me now that my ex is gone and is doing well i dont know if life will get easer i hope it does i dont know how long i can live like this i miss the one person that meant the world to me but i know that person dose not care but why whould she she is doing great now the only one who means a lot to me is my gram,my brother, and my uncle and we4ll my best friend itsa been rough and i ahve cryed so much in the past few days to fill up a ocean or two my aunt hyas not picked any fights with me yet but give it time everything will be back to normal soon and that will be the day i leave and no one up here will hear my voice im really hard headed and out spocken which i dont think is a bad thing im me and i love who me is i wont change for anyone i found a new me when i went to florida this me i like im more out spocken now then ever before im am a spoiled lil bitch i got everything and anything i wanted but i dident have to be mean to get it now when some one calls me a spoiled bitch i can look and say ya i am and not give a damn i meet some one that means a great deal to me we talked and stuff and when i go down i am gonna wait till i ahve a normal period and then i am gonna get what i really want a baby some one for me to love some one to love me back some one to care for some one to care for me back my child will ahve everything it wants and needs and i will be happy maybe that is what i need maybe this will make me not so depressed maybe for once in my life i can be happy the4 happy i fealt when my ex was around the happy i fealt when my gram was around maybe that is all i need but who knows i will only find out when that time comes well i need to go shower im sure ill have more to say i love you shay......