(no subject)
I cannot believe I did that.
Illinois is cold, unsympathetic, and I hate it. So why not relocate to a hospital somewhere even colder? There's nothing I despise more than being kept in an alien environment, so why not admit myself to a fucking hospital? I am scared to death of losing my measily $613 a month- my SSI is to be reviewed on 4/13 I think, not at the end of this month as I thought- so why not put myself into a situation where I could lose it for months even it it's not revoked if- god forbid- I happen to stay in Iowa for more than 29 days?
And so what if Iowa turns out to be great with Social Services, helps me keep my SSI and (out of state) Medicaid and arranges for aftercare to return to this place I hate? I'll be back here in a month. Back here where DHS won't help anyone unless they are first in line outside the doors at dawn when the agency opens and it's 7 degrees outside. Back where Social Security and the Medicaid administration doesn't answer the phone. Back in this shitty apartment in this fucked up neighborhood where the barest essentials of life (rent not included) run $1,000 a month in a state where crazy means lazy, not sick. If Illinois was a person, they'd be furious with Ohio for having put them in a situation where they were federally obligated to even cover my fucking pysch ward imprisonments and subpar medications.
It's not as if anybody in Illinois is going to bother giving me referrals when I try to leave. God fucking forbid, that would require picking up the phone.
Illinois is cold, unsympathetic, and I hate it. So why not relocate to a hospital somewhere even colder? There's nothing I despise more than being kept in an alien environment, so why not admit myself to a fucking hospital? I am scared to death of losing my measily $613 a month- my SSI is to be reviewed on 4/13 I think, not at the end of this month as I thought- so why not put myself into a situation where I could lose it for months even it it's not revoked if- god forbid- I happen to stay in Iowa for more than 29 days?
And so what if Iowa turns out to be great with Social Services, helps me keep my SSI and (out of state) Medicaid and arranges for aftercare to return to this place I hate? I'll be back here in a month. Back here where DHS won't help anyone unless they are first in line outside the doors at dawn when the agency opens and it's 7 degrees outside. Back where Social Security and the Medicaid administration doesn't answer the phone. Back in this shitty apartment in this fucked up neighborhood where the barest essentials of life (rent not included) run $1,000 a month in a state where crazy means lazy, not sick. If Illinois was a person, they'd be furious with Ohio for having put them in a situation where they were federally obligated to even cover my fucking pysch ward imprisonments and subpar medications.
It's not as if anybody in Illinois is going to bother giving me referrals when I try to leave. God fucking forbid, that would require picking up the phone.