Eyedrops killed my gummi bears
i am officially over kyle. i never thought those words would come out of my mouth in the entire time i walked this dreadful earth...
but i can truly say that i am over him. today was hard...to sit and talk to him like a friend for a couple hours. but i did it, and im damn glad that i did. i felt like i wanted to cry and scream and win him back over...
but i knew it would do me no good even if i did get him back.
because i have fallen head over heels for jeremy, and it took until today to realize how serious i have become about him.
i've spent my life trying to please everyone else, not caring about how it made me feel. 17 years and i am still obeying every command my parents bear upon me..
and im fed up with it. i am in their house and yes i will abide by their rules.
but for how long will i be here to tell the story?
hopefully not much longer.
im not considering suicide anymore so dont freak out.
but the fact that they have no idea about this one issue i've had with myself...the one thing that has LITERALLY been eating me alive...
is just too much.
i love them dearly.
dont get me wrong.
it just hurts that they have no clue.
then again...nobody else did either. until i got caught.
but for my sake i wont spill my beans here. for their sake. for everyones. there will come a time when the truth will be known. and i will find the help i need.
for now...i need to be left alone about it. i need to come clean on my own and i dont want anyone forcing me to.
dammit.
i've raved enough already.
bottom line. jeremy is taking very good care of me. i love him dearly and i cant wait until...well nevermind that. god too soon lol. i gotta remember that.
i can dream cant i?
for now i hear waffles calling me.
tootles.
~me~
but i can truly say that i am over him. today was hard...to sit and talk to him like a friend for a couple hours. but i did it, and im damn glad that i did. i felt like i wanted to cry and scream and win him back over...
but i knew it would do me no good even if i did get him back.
because i have fallen head over heels for jeremy, and it took until today to realize how serious i have become about him.
i've spent my life trying to please everyone else, not caring about how it made me feel. 17 years and i am still obeying every command my parents bear upon me..
and im fed up with it. i am in their house and yes i will abide by their rules.
but for how long will i be here to tell the story?
hopefully not much longer.
im not considering suicide anymore so dont freak out.
but the fact that they have no idea about this one issue i've had with myself...the one thing that has LITERALLY been eating me alive...
is just too much.
i love them dearly.
dont get me wrong.
it just hurts that they have no clue.
then again...nobody else did either. until i got caught.
but for my sake i wont spill my beans here. for their sake. for everyones. there will come a time when the truth will be known. and i will find the help i need.
for now...i need to be left alone about it. i need to come clean on my own and i dont want anyone forcing me to.
dammit.
i've raved enough already.
bottom line. jeremy is taking very good care of me. i love him dearly and i cant wait until...well nevermind that. god too soon lol. i gotta remember that.
i can dream cant i?
for now i hear waffles calling me.
tootles.
~me~