"Whatever differences our lives have been...we together make a limb."
Well. It's all over. Nick left at quarter after ten this morning, officially bringing to end the best year of my life.
Friday night Nick came bowling with me, Chrissy, and Dara. Their friedn Jeff came, too. It was fun times. Surprising I ended up winning with a 120. Haha. I bowled spare after spare after spare. It was totally awesome. Chrissy has a picture of all of us on her camera and I'm gonna get her to send it to me when she gets it processed. One time when Nick was bowling I told Dara to watch how he bowls because he bowls spastically like I do. (We have relatively the same bowling style...how strange.) and she was like "What? Check out his butt? You can't see it thru his clothes. He's got no butt." It was funny. After that we went to the casino where Nick and I proceded to lose around 8 dollars to the slot machines. We were having a bad night. We really needed Dan. Not that it would have helped...the machines at the Ojibwa don't pay out two or so coins as much as the casino in Escanaba did. Saturday was that crazy Huntapalooza thing. It was basically just like a big barbeque for hte hall with the twins djing. Nick and I played frisbee until it was time for the Krissy Kash auction. Dan had accumulated 300 study bucks over the year, but they hadn't given them to him before he'd left. Nick and I decided that we were going to use Dan's Krissy Kash to get him something cool. It turned out to be a Ninja Turtle's kite. The rest of the weekend and Monday were relatively uneventful, as was much of Tuesday. We had our EN211 final at noon. That was pretty easy. I wasn't happy with my WPE essay, but what are you gonna do? I did, however, LOVE my last line. "I want to travel the world with a man who doesn't care if my favorite way to look at him is from behind a camera." Nick and I went to lunch after the final and then back to his room where I helped him back a little before I decided to go do a little packing of my own. At some point over the year Nick's laundry detergent leaked all over the floor beside his desk and dried, part of a cardboard box became adhered to his floor as well. So...I drove him to Mendard's to get a putty knife to try to scrape it up. We didn't know where to find them, so we wandered around aimlessly in the tools section. Eventually we walked down the isle with all the screws and nialed. Being the clever girl I am, I pointed to a container of screws and said, "Hey, Nick, wanna screw?"
He's such a dope and didn't pick up on the joke at all. He answered, "Yeah, you need some. For that shelf."
I've had a glass container of chip dip in my fridge for God knows how long and it had started to smell really rank. So I decided to clean it out. I SHOULD have dumped the remaining dip and mold growing on it into the trash, but it wasn't that much so I figured I'd wash it down the drain. Big mistake. It clogged my sink. So I went to Wal-Mart to get Draino. While I was gone Nick loaded up his car. When I got back I messed around with my sink and did some more packing. Nick and I went to dinner and made the last trip to Cat Trizzle around 8. At my early excursion to Wal-Mart I'd purchased Big Fish. Not long after we got back from "The Snatch" Nick came down and we popped it in the DVD player--stopping at midnight of course to watch Aqua Teen. *grins* It was a good movie. Billy Crudup is certainly a handsome devil and a wonderful actor.
Ever since I sat knee-to-knee with Dan on his bed last Thursday I've been trying to formulate what I would say to Nick when the time came to tell him how much he means to me. Dan and I had an unspoken bond and I always knew he cared about me, but Nick's feelings were questionable. For probably the last 10 minutes of hte movie I tried to figure out what I would say. I knew I was going to ask him to stay in my room longer, but after that...my mind kept drawing a blank. So when the movied ended and the usual comments that follow had finished, Nick hopped off my bed to leave. I grabbed the sleeve of his sweatshirt and said, "Wait. Don't leave yet." He hopped back up onto my bed and I couldn't even get the words, "I'm really going to miss you," out before I burst into tears. Nick put his arm around me. And that's how I ended up spending close to half an hour with my head on his chest. Listening to his heart beat and crying.
I told him that he and Dan really were the best friends I've ever had. And he said, "Even though..."
"Even though you make me miserable." And then I started crying all over again and he pulled me closer to him and told me not to cry and that he and Dan would come visit me this summer. We were quiet for a long time. Nick and I--though we are good friends--hardly ever talk and when we do what is said is usually significant. So I just lay there for awhile with my head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and feeling him breathe. I don't remember what I said...if I said anything at all, but he was like, "We're only 18." (It sounded like "we're" but it was probably "you're" because he is 19) and then he said, "This is just a spark, JJ. You gotta let the fire build." I have no idea what he meant by that,but itw as still just a perfect thing to say. At some point he asked me again to come visit him in Califonia next year and I told him that I couldn't promise anything, but that I would try. He's been relatively persistent about getting me to come visit him next year. Saturday I was in his room when he was talking to his friend Adam--the kid he will be living with next year--and he was like, "So when are you coming to California, JJ? All you need is a plane ticket. You can stay at my place for free. All you need is a ticket. And if you get one early enough they don't cost that much." I really would like to visit him next year. I hate to say this, but I think visiting Nick is going to take precedent over visiting Jason. *gasp* I know.
Anyway, back to last night. It was really nice to finally be that close to him. We were quiet for awhile and then I said, "I guess I'm afraid that you're going to go off to California and forget all about me." And he answered, "i'm not going to forget about you. I've seen you at least once everyday for how many months? *long pause* Can't forget about JJ." And then we were quiet again. After that we went to Public Safety to turn in his computer and then to the gas station so he could put air in his tires. And then I came back here and went to bed.
I just realized that I haven't written anythign about saying good-bye to Dan...so after this is finished we'll rewind and I'll tell that.
Got up this morning at 8 and took a long hot shower. Nick and I went to breakfast around 9:45 and then he said good-bye to Bryan. I walked with him out to his car. We hugged for a long time after he put his duct tape and stolen MP cup (they are made in Huntington Beach) in his car. Nick give good hugs. Different kind of hugs than Jason. I think that's because Jason is 6'2" and Nick is 5'8." So we were completely wrapped up together and hugging all tight and nice and I could feel his heartbeat through his chest and it was in sync with mine. Kind of a nice thing to think about. I started crying again and while we were hugging he just kept pulling me tighter to him and it felt a little like he was crying, too, but I don't think so. I liked the way I felt next to him, though. My head was perfectly at his shoulder and that little hollow that is my favorite spot on a boy. Makes for very nice, very close hugs. (Not like having to stand on my tiptoes to hug Jason.) After we stopped hugging he held both my hands and told me that he would see me later this summer. And then he got in his car adn I walked back to the dorms. I turned around and waved to him when he drove by. I'm going to miss that boy more than anything...except maybe Dan.
So this is kid of backwards because Dan left first, but I'm writing about him second. Anyway...Wednesday night I cried hysterically over him leaving for half an hour or so. (I was writing my entry where I posted the poem I wrote for them.) We watched Wallace and Gromet then. I didn't sleep at all Wednesday night and I dropped off my 10 drawings and mailed the letter I wrote to Dan's parents on Thursday morning before coming back and passing out. Around 2 (?) or so Dan woke me up and we went to lunch. I'm not too sure what happened after that, but Dan eventually stole my painting of Eggie. I went over to his room to retrieve it and he was sitting on his bed packing. I told him that I was trying to decide whether to give him the painting or not and he said no, that he couldn't take it. So there I was standing at the end of his bed on the verge of tears because he's just so damn nice to me. I say, "I'm really going to miss you." And he says, "I'm going to miss you, too." And then I start crying. I sat down on his bed next to him and we hugged. After that we sat cross-legged, knee-to-knee and talked about hte summer. He told me that we would get together. That he would come down to Niles or I could come to Ann Arbor because I've never been there. We didn't do anything special Thrusday night and Dan left at 11:15 Friday morning. Nick and I helped him carry the last of his stuff to his car (after Chrissy took a photo of the three of us together.) Dan and I hugged for awhile and he promised that we would get together over the summer. Nick went with me to Wal-Mart to get my film developed and that was that.
As miserable as the guys made me sometimes this year...I have more happy memories with them than bad ones. There is no possible way I could list them all here because I would inevitably forget something. I'm goign to miss them so bad next year. I don't know what I will do without my bookends. I'll have Chrissy and Dara, but--no offense to them--it's just not hte same. No one will ever be able to hold a candle to Dan and Nick, and I hope I always feel that way about them. And now it is time to get back to the real world and study for my finals.
Friday night Nick came bowling with me, Chrissy, and Dara. Their friedn Jeff came, too. It was fun times. Surprising I ended up winning with a 120. Haha. I bowled spare after spare after spare. It was totally awesome. Chrissy has a picture of all of us on her camera and I'm gonna get her to send it to me when she gets it processed. One time when Nick was bowling I told Dara to watch how he bowls because he bowls spastically like I do. (We have relatively the same bowling style...how strange.) and she was like "What? Check out his butt? You can't see it thru his clothes. He's got no butt." It was funny. After that we went to the casino where Nick and I proceded to lose around 8 dollars to the slot machines. We were having a bad night. We really needed Dan. Not that it would have helped...the machines at the Ojibwa don't pay out two or so coins as much as the casino in Escanaba did. Saturday was that crazy Huntapalooza thing. It was basically just like a big barbeque for hte hall with the twins djing. Nick and I played frisbee until it was time for the Krissy Kash auction. Dan had accumulated 300 study bucks over the year, but they hadn't given them to him before he'd left. Nick and I decided that we were going to use Dan's Krissy Kash to get him something cool. It turned out to be a Ninja Turtle's kite. The rest of the weekend and Monday were relatively uneventful, as was much of Tuesday. We had our EN211 final at noon. That was pretty easy. I wasn't happy with my WPE essay, but what are you gonna do? I did, however, LOVE my last line. "I want to travel the world with a man who doesn't care if my favorite way to look at him is from behind a camera." Nick and I went to lunch after the final and then back to his room where I helped him back a little before I decided to go do a little packing of my own. At some point over the year Nick's laundry detergent leaked all over the floor beside his desk and dried, part of a cardboard box became adhered to his floor as well. So...I drove him to Mendard's to get a putty knife to try to scrape it up. We didn't know where to find them, so we wandered around aimlessly in the tools section. Eventually we walked down the isle with all the screws and nialed. Being the clever girl I am, I pointed to a container of screws and said, "Hey, Nick, wanna screw?"
He's such a dope and didn't pick up on the joke at all. He answered, "Yeah, you need some. For that shelf."
I've had a glass container of chip dip in my fridge for God knows how long and it had started to smell really rank. So I decided to clean it out. I SHOULD have dumped the remaining dip and mold growing on it into the trash, but it wasn't that much so I figured I'd wash it down the drain. Big mistake. It clogged my sink. So I went to Wal-Mart to get Draino. While I was gone Nick loaded up his car. When I got back I messed around with my sink and did some more packing. Nick and I went to dinner and made the last trip to Cat Trizzle around 8. At my early excursion to Wal-Mart I'd purchased Big Fish. Not long after we got back from "The Snatch" Nick came down and we popped it in the DVD player--stopping at midnight of course to watch Aqua Teen. *grins* It was a good movie. Billy Crudup is certainly a handsome devil and a wonderful actor.
Ever since I sat knee-to-knee with Dan on his bed last Thursday I've been trying to formulate what I would say to Nick when the time came to tell him how much he means to me. Dan and I had an unspoken bond and I always knew he cared about me, but Nick's feelings were questionable. For probably the last 10 minutes of hte movie I tried to figure out what I would say. I knew I was going to ask him to stay in my room longer, but after that...my mind kept drawing a blank. So when the movied ended and the usual comments that follow had finished, Nick hopped off my bed to leave. I grabbed the sleeve of his sweatshirt and said, "Wait. Don't leave yet." He hopped back up onto my bed and I couldn't even get the words, "I'm really going to miss you," out before I burst into tears. Nick put his arm around me. And that's how I ended up spending close to half an hour with my head on his chest. Listening to his heart beat and crying.
I told him that he and Dan really were the best friends I've ever had. And he said, "Even though..."
"Even though you make me miserable." And then I started crying all over again and he pulled me closer to him and told me not to cry and that he and Dan would come visit me this summer. We were quiet for a long time. Nick and I--though we are good friends--hardly ever talk and when we do what is said is usually significant. So I just lay there for awhile with my head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and feeling him breathe. I don't remember what I said...if I said anything at all, but he was like, "We're only 18." (It sounded like "we're" but it was probably "you're" because he is 19) and then he said, "This is just a spark, JJ. You gotta let the fire build." I have no idea what he meant by that,but itw as still just a perfect thing to say. At some point he asked me again to come visit him in Califonia next year and I told him that I couldn't promise anything, but that I would try. He's been relatively persistent about getting me to come visit him next year. Saturday I was in his room when he was talking to his friend Adam--the kid he will be living with next year--and he was like, "So when are you coming to California, JJ? All you need is a plane ticket. You can stay at my place for free. All you need is a ticket. And if you get one early enough they don't cost that much." I really would like to visit him next year. I hate to say this, but I think visiting Nick is going to take precedent over visiting Jason. *gasp* I know.
Anyway, back to last night. It was really nice to finally be that close to him. We were quiet for awhile and then I said, "I guess I'm afraid that you're going to go off to California and forget all about me." And he answered, "i'm not going to forget about you. I've seen you at least once everyday for how many months? *long pause* Can't forget about JJ." And then we were quiet again. After that we went to Public Safety to turn in his computer and then to the gas station so he could put air in his tires. And then I came back here and went to bed.
I just realized that I haven't written anythign about saying good-bye to Dan...so after this is finished we'll rewind and I'll tell that.
Got up this morning at 8 and took a long hot shower. Nick and I went to breakfast around 9:45 and then he said good-bye to Bryan. I walked with him out to his car. We hugged for a long time after he put his duct tape and stolen MP cup (they are made in Huntington Beach) in his car. Nick give good hugs. Different kind of hugs than Jason. I think that's because Jason is 6'2" and Nick is 5'8." So we were completely wrapped up together and hugging all tight and nice and I could feel his heartbeat through his chest and it was in sync with mine. Kind of a nice thing to think about. I started crying again and while we were hugging he just kept pulling me tighter to him and it felt a little like he was crying, too, but I don't think so. I liked the way I felt next to him, though. My head was perfectly at his shoulder and that little hollow that is my favorite spot on a boy. Makes for very nice, very close hugs. (Not like having to stand on my tiptoes to hug Jason.) After we stopped hugging he held both my hands and told me that he would see me later this summer. And then he got in his car adn I walked back to the dorms. I turned around and waved to him when he drove by. I'm going to miss that boy more than anything...except maybe Dan.
So this is kid of backwards because Dan left first, but I'm writing about him second. Anyway...Wednesday night I cried hysterically over him leaving for half an hour or so. (I was writing my entry where I posted the poem I wrote for them.) We watched Wallace and Gromet then. I didn't sleep at all Wednesday night and I dropped off my 10 drawings and mailed the letter I wrote to Dan's parents on Thursday morning before coming back and passing out. Around 2 (?) or so Dan woke me up and we went to lunch. I'm not too sure what happened after that, but Dan eventually stole my painting of Eggie. I went over to his room to retrieve it and he was sitting on his bed packing. I told him that I was trying to decide whether to give him the painting or not and he said no, that he couldn't take it. So there I was standing at the end of his bed on the verge of tears because he's just so damn nice to me. I say, "I'm really going to miss you." And he says, "I'm going to miss you, too." And then I start crying. I sat down on his bed next to him and we hugged. After that we sat cross-legged, knee-to-knee and talked about hte summer. He told me that we would get together. That he would come down to Niles or I could come to Ann Arbor because I've never been there. We didn't do anything special Thrusday night and Dan left at 11:15 Friday morning. Nick and I helped him carry the last of his stuff to his car (after Chrissy took a photo of the three of us together.) Dan and I hugged for awhile and he promised that we would get together over the summer. Nick went with me to Wal-Mart to get my film developed and that was that.
As miserable as the guys made me sometimes this year...I have more happy memories with them than bad ones. There is no possible way I could list them all here because I would inevitably forget something. I'm goign to miss them so bad next year. I don't know what I will do without my bookends. I'll have Chrissy and Dara, but--no offense to them--it's just not hte same. No one will ever be able to hold a candle to Dan and Nick, and I hope I always feel that way about them. And now it is time to get back to the real world and study for my finals.