I couldn't just let it alone....I HAD to bring it up....

[mxpxgirl85]

So...Nick ISN'T going to Santa Cruz next year. He's going to a community college in Huntington Beach to get his California residency. Him telling me that made me feel worse than him going to Santa Cruz...because there was always the slim chance then that he wouldn't get it. But that's gone now. He said once that it was good that he lived here in the UP for one year. I feel kind of abandoned by that. "It's good that I lived here once...but I wouldn't want to do it all the time." ....like "It's good I was friends with JJ for a little while...but I wouldn't want to do it all the time." Like him getting away of Michigan is him getting away from me. Escape. I'm relatively sure I'll never see him again. I doubt he'll come to visit me and I doubt he wants me to visit him. Amanda is moving to Irvine...which is 15 minutes from Huntington Beach and she wants me to come visit her and then I could go visit Nick, too, she says. I don't think that would go over too well. I think the only way I'll get back to California is to visit Aunt Becky...and she's in the Bay Area. It's kind of funny....Mike H. is trying his hardest to get OUT of California and Nick is trying his hardest to get IN. *shrugs* Half of me really hopes Nick hates it there...especially since Amanda told me that Huntington Beach is like....really ghetto. Even if he does hate it though...he still won't come back here. I know that. It's cruel, but it's my safety device....I want him to be as miserable as him leaving is making me.

*shrugs* Last night was so nice. We watched Poolhall Junkies (good movie! yay Christopher Walken!) And then Dan and Erica went to bed, but it was only 12:45 so Nick and I stayed up. We looked @ photos and he made apple turnovers with ice cream. It was nice. But then I had to be retarded and bring up him not coming back next year. Went to bed around 2:30 feeling abandoned and depressed. I still feel pretty crappy about it all.