A LETTER TO GOD.
DEAR GOD.
I KNOW WE DON'T TALK MUCH. AND I OFTEN MAKE FUN OF YOU AND YOUR FOLLOWERS. AND GENERALLY SAY THAT IF I WERE RELIGIOUS, IT WOULDN'T BE TO YOU. BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY DUDE I CAN GO TO RIGHT NOW.
MAN. IF YOU'RE REALLY ALL-LOVING LIKE DEM BIBLE FREAKS SAY. PLEASE LET ME BE ABLE TO MAINTAIN MY C IN CHEMISTRY FOR FOUR MORE DAYS. FOR SRS, I NEED THAT SHIT.
AND SO HELP ME BUDDHA, IF YOU IGNORE ME OR SPITE ME OR WHATEVER, I WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP SO BAD. I WILL COME UP TO THE PEARLY GATES, AND I WILL SMASH THEM DOWN WITH THE FIST OF A THOUSAND RAGING MEN. I WILL RIP THE WINGS FROM YOUR ANGELS AND TOSS THEM FROM THE CLOUDS, NOT EVEN PAUSING AS THEY SCREAM ON THE WAY TO EARTH. I WILL PUNCH YOUR SON IN THE FACE AND KICK HIM THE BALLS SO HARD THAT HIS HYPOTHETICAL DESCENDANTS FEEL IT. I WILL THEN MAKE MY WAY TO YOUR THRONE AND I WILL SAY, "GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?" AND, MUSTERING ALL OF MY REMAINING STRENGTH, I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN.
LOVE,
ROSIE.
I KNOW WE DON'T TALK MUCH. AND I OFTEN MAKE FUN OF YOU AND YOUR FOLLOWERS. AND GENERALLY SAY THAT IF I WERE RELIGIOUS, IT WOULDN'T BE TO YOU. BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY DUDE I CAN GO TO RIGHT NOW.
MAN. IF YOU'RE REALLY ALL-LOVING LIKE DEM BIBLE FREAKS SAY. PLEASE LET ME BE ABLE TO MAINTAIN MY C IN CHEMISTRY FOR FOUR MORE DAYS. FOR SRS, I NEED THAT SHIT.
AND SO HELP ME BUDDHA, IF YOU IGNORE ME OR SPITE ME OR WHATEVER, I WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP SO BAD. I WILL COME UP TO THE PEARLY GATES, AND I WILL SMASH THEM DOWN WITH THE FIST OF A THOUSAND RAGING MEN. I WILL RIP THE WINGS FROM YOUR ANGELS AND TOSS THEM FROM THE CLOUDS, NOT EVEN PAUSING AS THEY SCREAM ON THE WAY TO EARTH. I WILL PUNCH YOUR SON IN THE FACE AND KICK HIM THE BALLS SO HARD THAT HIS HYPOTHETICAL DESCENDANTS FEEL IT. I WILL THEN MAKE MY WAY TO YOUR THRONE AND I WILL SAY, "GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?" AND, MUSTERING ALL OF MY REMAINING STRENGTH, I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN.
LOVE,
ROSIE.