(no subject)
I seem to have hit a rough patch. The last month or so of my life has not exactly gone according to plan. December was a difficult month that ended what was a difficult year. I'm trying to be hopeful about 2009, but it's a hard thing to do when I'm depressed.
Some things I've come to realize lately:
1. My stepmom is a manipulative, unkind woman who will probably never change. (I could've said much worse.) I need to severely limit my contact with her until she gets some much-needed mental help, which I doubt she'll ever be willing to admit she needs.
2. My real mom loves her two dogs more than she loves me. In my head, I know that it's not because of anything I did or didn't do, but in my heart it's hard to understand why she can't just love me like moms are supposed to love their kids.
3. Anything involving dentists, doctors and/or insurance companies is far more complicated than it needs to be. These are health professions that people turn to when they aren't well -- shouldn't that in and of itself call for a better system?!
When things don't go according to plan, it's really unsettling to me. When several things go wrong at once, it's more than enough to send me to places I'd hoped never return to. I'm not really OK right now, but I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing to try to get well again, so hopefully it'll work.
Some things I've come to realize lately:
1. My stepmom is a manipulative, unkind woman who will probably never change. (I could've said much worse.) I need to severely limit my contact with her until she gets some much-needed mental help, which I doubt she'll ever be willing to admit she needs.
2. My real mom loves her two dogs more than she loves me. In my head, I know that it's not because of anything I did or didn't do, but in my heart it's hard to understand why she can't just love me like moms are supposed to love their kids.
3. Anything involving dentists, doctors and/or insurance companies is far more complicated than it needs to be. These are health professions that people turn to when they aren't well -- shouldn't that in and of itself call for a better system?!
When things don't go according to plan, it's really unsettling to me. When several things go wrong at once, it's more than enough to send me to places I'd hoped never return to. I'm not really OK right now, but I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing to try to get well again, so hopefully it'll work.