(no subject)
so, its been a really rough two or three weeks for me.
seems my depression is coming back in full force. i have spent way too much time lately just doing nothing, caring about nothing, wanting to sleep all the time, or crying. and i don't know what to do about it. i figure that maybe writing will help me, so here i am.
i was watching the kids tonight, and christina decided to eat some soap. well, she choked on it. and i freaked out. i mean, really freaked out. i had this ominous feeling all night, like i knew something bad was going to happen. and it did. i would have never forgiven myself if something had happened to her. i just hope it will go thru her system okay.
i also realize that i am seriously lonely. most of my friends have left me for greener pastures, or moved to different cities, or just think i am not a good friend. i guess they are right. i am so busy that i never have time to do anything or even think about doing something. i really miss living away at school, because at least i had those friendships to distract me from my life. my life, which is really down right now. i am in school, and finding it really hard to focus on anything. at work, i feel like the gopher of my department and like they expect the world of me. not to mention that most of the people hate me because i got promoted so quickly. i have never felt so alone in my life.
maybe this is just a passing phase, or maybe this is something serious that i need to talk to somebody about. i really don't know what to do at this point.
for now, i guess i will just go to sleep and hope i feel better in the morning.
<3 love, kimba
seems my depression is coming back in full force. i have spent way too much time lately just doing nothing, caring about nothing, wanting to sleep all the time, or crying. and i don't know what to do about it. i figure that maybe writing will help me, so here i am.
i was watching the kids tonight, and christina decided to eat some soap. well, she choked on it. and i freaked out. i mean, really freaked out. i had this ominous feeling all night, like i knew something bad was going to happen. and it did. i would have never forgiven myself if something had happened to her. i just hope it will go thru her system okay.
i also realize that i am seriously lonely. most of my friends have left me for greener pastures, or moved to different cities, or just think i am not a good friend. i guess they are right. i am so busy that i never have time to do anything or even think about doing something. i really miss living away at school, because at least i had those friendships to distract me from my life. my life, which is really down right now. i am in school, and finding it really hard to focus on anything. at work, i feel like the gopher of my department and like they expect the world of me. not to mention that most of the people hate me because i got promoted so quickly. i have never felt so alone in my life.
maybe this is just a passing phase, or maybe this is something serious that i need to talk to somebody about. i really don't know what to do at this point.
for now, i guess i will just go to sleep and hope i feel better in the morning.
<3 love, kimba