my ltl LJ...
havent written in here in like 2 minutes...lol
wow, dese past days have had some thought-provoking events. 1st one dat comes up is da one wit da guy dat looked like a certain someone (u can laugh ruben..lol). its krazy when u kno dat someone is thousands of miles away but all of a sudden u see someone dat looks like an exact replica, even if its jus 4 a sec, & certain feelings r brought up from deep down somewhere. other den da fact dat i couldnt take a really good look at him cuz it jus felt so weird, later on i did look at him. face features werent really similar but jus the clothing & body structure makes u look twice.
dis guy has me lost in memories. durin the trip i found myself missin him alot. i started listenin 2 da cds he made me long ago, & da copies of da ones i made him. it was more like torture than a moment to reminisce.
i try to gather some kind of reason or meaning for all of da feelings of da past days but i jus end up more confused. i dont kno where i stand. mario is entirely out of da picture 4 sure, didnt take 2 long 4 dat one 2 happen. angelo....well, im krazy bout him. sumtymz. i feel like such a b****. yesterday he told me he loved me again. what do u say 2 that?? its somewhat flattering but more confusing cuz u dont want 2 lie 2 him & say u feel da same way yet u dont want 2 hurt him. i dont want 2 say dat i dont see da relationship goin far, but hes da 2nd guy i actually last longer den 2 months wit. but deep down i kno im not gonna fall in love wit him, or at least i dont want 2. not now.
dis summer ive come 2 a point where im so focused on my future (i.e. college & my ltl trip 2 europe) dat when i think of relationships...after high skool i dont think im goin 2 be in any. at least not 4 a while. i presently have my guard up after all of da recent drama & i really dont kno how long its gonna take 4 me 2 recover, if dats what u wanna call it. a friend of mine, emma, left on her mission last week & she told me how she wants 2 see me go 2 harvard (LoL...sure) & to make sure dat i dont change any of my educational plans cuz of a guy. so really, dis yr dats what its all bout. gettin in2 juilliard. movin to new york. well actually dats not my final decision. LoL. i really liked chicago & im thinkin bout goin over dere. i dunno. i'll choose a skool after i found out which ones accept me. but yeah. dats all i wanna focus on (& well of course gettin my mujer virtuosa...church thing). angelo already knows, were not gonna be seein as much of each other when da skool yr starts. skool comes first. so he suggested dat he'd pick me up from skool. i guess i wont have 2 take da bus home after all. LoL. but i cant wait till i get 2 keep da car!!! so excited. but yeah. i'll write more some other time. dis thing is long & i got stuff 2 do.
wow, dese past days have had some thought-provoking events. 1st one dat comes up is da one wit da guy dat looked like a certain someone (u can laugh ruben..lol). its krazy when u kno dat someone is thousands of miles away but all of a sudden u see someone dat looks like an exact replica, even if its jus 4 a sec, & certain feelings r brought up from deep down somewhere. other den da fact dat i couldnt take a really good look at him cuz it jus felt so weird, later on i did look at him. face features werent really similar but jus the clothing & body structure makes u look twice.
dis guy has me lost in memories. durin the trip i found myself missin him alot. i started listenin 2 da cds he made me long ago, & da copies of da ones i made him. it was more like torture than a moment to reminisce.
i try to gather some kind of reason or meaning for all of da feelings of da past days but i jus end up more confused. i dont kno where i stand. mario is entirely out of da picture 4 sure, didnt take 2 long 4 dat one 2 happen. angelo....well, im krazy bout him. sumtymz. i feel like such a b****. yesterday he told me he loved me again. what do u say 2 that?? its somewhat flattering but more confusing cuz u dont want 2 lie 2 him & say u feel da same way yet u dont want 2 hurt him. i dont want 2 say dat i dont see da relationship goin far, but hes da 2nd guy i actually last longer den 2 months wit. but deep down i kno im not gonna fall in love wit him, or at least i dont want 2. not now.
dis summer ive come 2 a point where im so focused on my future (i.e. college & my ltl trip 2 europe) dat when i think of relationships...after high skool i dont think im goin 2 be in any. at least not 4 a while. i presently have my guard up after all of da recent drama & i really dont kno how long its gonna take 4 me 2 recover, if dats what u wanna call it. a friend of mine, emma, left on her mission last week & she told me how she wants 2 see me go 2 harvard (LoL...sure) & to make sure dat i dont change any of my educational plans cuz of a guy. so really, dis yr dats what its all bout. gettin in2 juilliard. movin to new york. well actually dats not my final decision. LoL. i really liked chicago & im thinkin bout goin over dere. i dunno. i'll choose a skool after i found out which ones accept me. but yeah. dats all i wanna focus on (& well of course gettin my mujer virtuosa...church thing). angelo already knows, were not gonna be seein as much of each other when da skool yr starts. skool comes first. so he suggested dat he'd pick me up from skool. i guess i wont have 2 take da bus home after all. LoL. but i cant wait till i get 2 keep da car!!! so excited. but yeah. i'll write more some other time. dis thing is long & i got stuff 2 do.