(no subject)
I want to live and love and, maybe, someday, even marry.
I want to stop crying and screaming and fighting people who don't know anything about me when they tell me that there is only one way to live. I want to know why so many people care what I do with my life, when my life will more likely than not have no effect on theirs whatsoever.
It's taken me a while to fully allow myself to realize how much the passage of prop 8 in California, and of so many others in other states, has affected me personally. I'm not in any sort of relationship, and have the possibility to fall for either sex. I may still be allowed to marry in California - as long as it's to a man.
But what if I fall for her? Some beautiful, charming woman who steals my heart and does good for society? Just because she's a woman and I'm a woman, why should it matter? There are so many non-heterosexuals in the world that contribute -just as much- as their hetero counterparts.
No matter how hard I try, I really just don't understand. And it makes me want to cry. Tonight was the first time I let myself cry about the issue. I watched Kieth Olbermann's special comment on prop 8, and I just watched as this man who, as far as he knows, has absolutely no investment in gay marriage, give a heated speech about the issue. The raw emotion in his voice got to me.
And I realized - this is real. I'm more of a second class citizen than I was before. I can't even have my love legally recognized by the state and nation if I fall for a woman.
For all those who say that civil unions are just as good - think about this:
My sister fell in love with a charming Englishwoman. They got married in Canada because it was before the California courts had declared gay marriage legal until the Nov. 6 ballot. They moved to England until my sister-in-nonAmerican-law could get a student visa.
Why?
Because civil unions can't be taken to immigration services. They aren't real, and aren't recognized as another form of marriage. So, as far as the argument that it's "separate, but equal" - which we should all know -doesn't work- from our history classes - it's separate, alright, just not so much with the equal.
Give me one real reason, not religion based, that consenting, adult, HUMAN (god, don't get me started on the fucking marrying your pet argument) gays shouldn't be allowed to marry. The only one I've heard that isn't religion based, to an extent, is the argument that the definition of marriage as found in the OED is "the formal union of a man and a woman, by which they become husband and wife."
Now, I can see why people are saying we're changing the definition. But, really, is changing a mere definition so bad? The English language is constantly evolving. Ten years ago, any student caught using the word "stupider" would have a big red circle on his or her paper. Or, perhaps, everyone forgets that Shakespeare made up over 3000 words. That's three THOUSAND words that didn't exist before the 16th century. That's not all that long ago, considering. Or perhaps it should be taken into consideration that, as soon as settlers hit American soil, the English language started changing. The English spoken across the Atlantic is far different from the form we use here. We made up our own words, too. Eliminated the word 'boot' and replaced it with 'trunk'; changed the spelling and pronunciation of 'aluminium' to 'aluminum'; chucked out the letter 'u' from several words.
So, really, why is change so bad in a language? This argument is weak, at best.
Every other one I've heard related to god, Jesus, the Bible. Well, thanks, but no thanks. Despite our recent set-backs, we're still technically a country with the freedom of religion, and are supposed to have a separation of Church and State. That's why, unlike the Church of England or the Danish Lutheran Church, there is no Church of the US. And, since I've got my choice of religion, I'd like to point out - I don't believe in Jesus Christ as my savior. I'm not even sure if I believe that he was a real person, though I'm not against the idea. I don't accept any set religious values from any book or preacher. I choose my own religious or, as I prefer to think of them, spiritual beliefs, and they have nothing to do with the way our government functions. I may believe that it's wrong to impose permanent laws on a generation that did not get to choose those laws, but I understand and respect that there must be a limit to how old you must be to vote.
Back to the point - I don't impose my beliefs on you, so stop imposing yours on me. I won't accept Christ 'into my heart' just because a group of people think I'm going to a fiery place in which I also don't believe. Saying that gay relationships are wrong because 'God says so' means very little to people who don't believe in God, or believe in a different god or gods.
The flipside of the argument is that 'forcing gay marriage into law is shoving my beliefs onto others.' Well, yes and no. I'm not forcing anyone to get a gay marriage, or even LIKE gay marriage. Not asking you to befriend gay people, or accept your kids if they tell you they're gay (though I'd prefer that, don't get me wrong). All I want is an equal chance, an equal opportunity. Frankly, having gay marriage will change so little in society that it's almost ridiculous. The only effects that it will have will be for the people receiving those marriages. So, really, there's no 'shoving' of my beliefs down anyone's throats. You can ignore it for all I care, as long as you don't take it away.
I doubt I know anyone who voted yes on 8, or would have if they could, that would read this, but if you're there - tell me:
Why do you hate me so much? What did I do to you to deserve being classified as something less than human? If it's the 'love the sinner, hate the sin' bit, please spare me. If you loved me, you would let me make my own decisions, rather than controlling my life for me. That's why, if you believe in the Judeo-Christian god, we all have free will. We have the option to be 'pure and good' or 'wicked and sinful' and our choices affect us, our souls. They don't have an impact on the afterlife of anyone else. So, why? Tell me your beliefs and inform me, that's fine. I'm all for options. That way I can make my choice. But don't force me to be your definition of good. It won't do anything for you or for me except make me bitter and sad, and make me resent you. I want the opportunity to choose my own path, to decide where I go in life, and if everyone around me constantly mandates everything I can or can't do, then where is my choice? I'm not harming anyone else by loving. It's not as though I'm going out and beating, murdering, torturing people. I just want the chance to be a complete human being, with all the same rights and responsibilities as every other adult in this country.
Give me a chance, please. Give me a chance to show you that I'm not so different from you and yours.
I want to stop crying and screaming and fighting people who don't know anything about me when they tell me that there is only one way to live. I want to know why so many people care what I do with my life, when my life will more likely than not have no effect on theirs whatsoever.
It's taken me a while to fully allow myself to realize how much the passage of prop 8 in California, and of so many others in other states, has affected me personally. I'm not in any sort of relationship, and have the possibility to fall for either sex. I may still be allowed to marry in California - as long as it's to a man.
But what if I fall for her? Some beautiful, charming woman who steals my heart and does good for society? Just because she's a woman and I'm a woman, why should it matter? There are so many non-heterosexuals in the world that contribute -just as much- as their hetero counterparts.
No matter how hard I try, I really just don't understand. And it makes me want to cry. Tonight was the first time I let myself cry about the issue. I watched Kieth Olbermann's special comment on prop 8, and I just watched as this man who, as far as he knows, has absolutely no investment in gay marriage, give a heated speech about the issue. The raw emotion in his voice got to me.
And I realized - this is real. I'm more of a second class citizen than I was before. I can't even have my love legally recognized by the state and nation if I fall for a woman.
For all those who say that civil unions are just as good - think about this:
My sister fell in love with a charming Englishwoman. They got married in Canada because it was before the California courts had declared gay marriage legal until the Nov. 6 ballot. They moved to England until my sister-in-nonAmerican-law could get a student visa.
Why?
Because civil unions can't be taken to immigration services. They aren't real, and aren't recognized as another form of marriage. So, as far as the argument that it's "separate, but equal" - which we should all know -doesn't work- from our history classes - it's separate, alright, just not so much with the equal.
Give me one real reason, not religion based, that consenting, adult, HUMAN (god, don't get me started on the fucking marrying your pet argument) gays shouldn't be allowed to marry. The only one I've heard that isn't religion based, to an extent, is the argument that the definition of marriage as found in the OED is "the formal union of a man and a woman, by which they become husband and wife."
Now, I can see why people are saying we're changing the definition. But, really, is changing a mere definition so bad? The English language is constantly evolving. Ten years ago, any student caught using the word "stupider" would have a big red circle on his or her paper. Or, perhaps, everyone forgets that Shakespeare made up over 3000 words. That's three THOUSAND words that didn't exist before the 16th century. That's not all that long ago, considering. Or perhaps it should be taken into consideration that, as soon as settlers hit American soil, the English language started changing. The English spoken across the Atlantic is far different from the form we use here. We made up our own words, too. Eliminated the word 'boot' and replaced it with 'trunk'; changed the spelling and pronunciation of 'aluminium' to 'aluminum'; chucked out the letter 'u' from several words.
So, really, why is change so bad in a language? This argument is weak, at best.
Every other one I've heard related to god, Jesus, the Bible. Well, thanks, but no thanks. Despite our recent set-backs, we're still technically a country with the freedom of religion, and are supposed to have a separation of Church and State. That's why, unlike the Church of England or the Danish Lutheran Church, there is no Church of the US. And, since I've got my choice of religion, I'd like to point out - I don't believe in Jesus Christ as my savior. I'm not even sure if I believe that he was a real person, though I'm not against the idea. I don't accept any set religious values from any book or preacher. I choose my own religious or, as I prefer to think of them, spiritual beliefs, and they have nothing to do with the way our government functions. I may believe that it's wrong to impose permanent laws on a generation that did not get to choose those laws, but I understand and respect that there must be a limit to how old you must be to vote.
Back to the point - I don't impose my beliefs on you, so stop imposing yours on me. I won't accept Christ 'into my heart' just because a group of people think I'm going to a fiery place in which I also don't believe. Saying that gay relationships are wrong because 'God says so' means very little to people who don't believe in God, or believe in a different god or gods.
The flipside of the argument is that 'forcing gay marriage into law is shoving my beliefs onto others.' Well, yes and no. I'm not forcing anyone to get a gay marriage, or even LIKE gay marriage. Not asking you to befriend gay people, or accept your kids if they tell you they're gay (though I'd prefer that, don't get me wrong). All I want is an equal chance, an equal opportunity. Frankly, having gay marriage will change so little in society that it's almost ridiculous. The only effects that it will have will be for the people receiving those marriages. So, really, there's no 'shoving' of my beliefs down anyone's throats. You can ignore it for all I care, as long as you don't take it away.
I doubt I know anyone who voted yes on 8, or would have if they could, that would read this, but if you're there - tell me:
Why do you hate me so much? What did I do to you to deserve being classified as something less than human? If it's the 'love the sinner, hate the sin' bit, please spare me. If you loved me, you would let me make my own decisions, rather than controlling my life for me. That's why, if you believe in the Judeo-Christian god, we all have free will. We have the option to be 'pure and good' or 'wicked and sinful' and our choices affect us, our souls. They don't have an impact on the afterlife of anyone else. So, why? Tell me your beliefs and inform me, that's fine. I'm all for options. That way I can make my choice. But don't force me to be your definition of good. It won't do anything for you or for me except make me bitter and sad, and make me resent you. I want the opportunity to choose my own path, to decide where I go in life, and if everyone around me constantly mandates everything I can or can't do, then where is my choice? I'm not harming anyone else by loving. It's not as though I'm going out and beating, murdering, torturing people. I just want the chance to be a complete human being, with all the same rights and responsibilities as every other adult in this country.
Give me a chance, please. Give me a chance to show you that I'm not so different from you and yours.