College Essay- First draft
Here's the rough draft of my college essay- it still has to be revised by my teacher and such, but I thought I'd share it with you b/c it based on a person near and dear to me :) enjoy, and tell me how you felt about it.
The bell rang and the teacher came in, the clacking of her heels loud enough to stop any conversations. One boy however, keeps talking. That was James. He's known for being the really tall and skinny kid with a big attitude on occasion. He would often call himself "King of the Hill" and everyone who knew him thought of him that way, and completely looked over his branch-like physique. Once she finally gets him to settle down, she's able to start class. "Open your english books to chapter ten." As he thumbed through the pages, he kept his focus on all of the little rips and large stains that annoyed him immensely. Chapter eight, nine, thirteen, and of course, there wasn't a chapter ten. At that moment, he chose to interrupt class with his own little complaint about the book."C'mon, there isn't a chapter ten?" It isn't the first time that he's done this, he doesn't mean to, but he wasn't usually the one to keep his comments to himself. A single point of the teachers finger to the door gives him a clear sign that he had to leave. He's fuming mad; enough to have smoke come out of his ears if it was even possible, but he says nothing as he quietly takes his tattered book and walks out of class.
The next day, he's had it. As quickly as he could before the teacher came in, he took all of his classmates books and headed towards the window, each of his steps quicker than the last. Silent mumbles about how much trouble he was going to be in were heard all through the classroom. The teacher came in and stopped right in her tracks as she saw James at the window, twenty or so books in hand. He immediately called her out, talking in that teasing tone of his. "Hey Mrs. Smith, I'm tired of these books! I know the whole class is too, but you know what, I'm gonna to fix that." In one swift motion, he threw all of the books out of the window, their stained an torn pages floating to the ground one by one. After the whole fiasco unfolded, she wasted no time with immediately throwing him out of class. With a look of defiance, James silently headed out of the classroom
Over the next few days, James wasn't in class. Word got around that he had to leave school because of what he did, but he was definitely did something right. He was the voice for everyone in that class who wanted change as much as he did, but were scared to speak out. Even though he wasn't there in class anymore, he was there in spirit as all of the students got to follow along with the lesson with their new books.
Now, I know I'll never be able to do such a bold act for change like my father did many years ago, but that hasn't changed the values, the same values he held strong, that he instilled in me, even though he wasn't around for long in my life. In that short time, he taught me never to let anyone put down what I believed in,not to let anything interfere with my personal morals or stop me from achieving any goal. Of course being at a young age, I couldn't fully grasp the full meaning of what he was teaching me, but I see it now as I strive towards my goals in school, especially in languages such as Japanese, where I have been told countless time to "give up" or "learn or more reliable trade." No part of me can give up on looking ahead and achieving to my highest potential because of my father. He was not only in spirit for the boys and girls in that school years ago, but he's there in spirit in me.
The bell rang and the teacher came in, the clacking of her heels loud enough to stop any conversations. One boy however, keeps talking. That was James. He's known for being the really tall and skinny kid with a big attitude on occasion. He would often call himself "King of the Hill" and everyone who knew him thought of him that way, and completely looked over his branch-like physique. Once she finally gets him to settle down, she's able to start class. "Open your english books to chapter ten." As he thumbed through the pages, he kept his focus on all of the little rips and large stains that annoyed him immensely. Chapter eight, nine, thirteen, and of course, there wasn't a chapter ten. At that moment, he chose to interrupt class with his own little complaint about the book."C'mon, there isn't a chapter ten?" It isn't the first time that he's done this, he doesn't mean to, but he wasn't usually the one to keep his comments to himself. A single point of the teachers finger to the door gives him a clear sign that he had to leave. He's fuming mad; enough to have smoke come out of his ears if it was even possible, but he says nothing as he quietly takes his tattered book and walks out of class.
The next day, he's had it. As quickly as he could before the teacher came in, he took all of his classmates books and headed towards the window, each of his steps quicker than the last. Silent mumbles about how much trouble he was going to be in were heard all through the classroom. The teacher came in and stopped right in her tracks as she saw James at the window, twenty or so books in hand. He immediately called her out, talking in that teasing tone of his. "Hey Mrs. Smith, I'm tired of these books! I know the whole class is too, but you know what, I'm gonna to fix that." In one swift motion, he threw all of the books out of the window, their stained an torn pages floating to the ground one by one. After the whole fiasco unfolded, she wasted no time with immediately throwing him out of class. With a look of defiance, James silently headed out of the classroom
Over the next few days, James wasn't in class. Word got around that he had to leave school because of what he did, but he was definitely did something right. He was the voice for everyone in that class who wanted change as much as he did, but were scared to speak out. Even though he wasn't there in class anymore, he was there in spirit as all of the students got to follow along with the lesson with their new books.
Now, I know I'll never be able to do such a bold act for change like my father did many years ago, but that hasn't changed the values, the same values he held strong, that he instilled in me, even though he wasn't around for long in my life. In that short time, he taught me never to let anyone put down what I believed in,not to let anything interfere with my personal morals or stop me from achieving any goal. Of course being at a young age, I couldn't fully grasp the full meaning of what he was teaching me, but I see it now as I strive towards my goals in school, especially in languages such as Japanese, where I have been told countless time to "give up" or "learn or more reliable trade." No part of me can give up on looking ahead and achieving to my highest potential because of my father. He was not only in spirit for the boys and girls in that school years ago, but he's there in spirit in me.