Grrr
Its all so frustrating. When I think I have it figured out...really I have no idea. I'm back where I friggin started. Will someone just choose what's best for me--what I'd benefit from most--what'd I'd like best? Josh keeps telling me to do what I want to...what I feel like doing..don't do something to make someone else happy blah blah. He went to bed thinking I had actually chosen something...then I talk to my brother and everything's all wrong.
I feel so lost without a private teacher...no money for one right now. I'll have to talk to a counselor but they don't know me AND they'll ask me the same questions everyone else has and I don't KNOW what I have planned for my life and I'll never be sure of what's yet to come...other than marrying Josh someday...possibly singing in some way or another and possibly signing. Haha signing and singing...weird. Grr and my voice is definitely not the same as it used to be so I don't know if I should stick with the goals I had when I was younger. I want it all I guess. Learning about all aspects of music jazz and classical I suppose but that's pretty darn hard and will take forever and who knows if I'm good enough. And yes I can go to school for a long time. I was already planning on that. I want to keep my options open...that's all I know. And I'm not concerned with a steady job really. Heh...that's Josh's job.
There...that's my goals. Be married to Josh (eventually..), do music in some fashion (teaching, performing, writing) and some sign language interpretting while we're at it..although I thought about teaching for that too, but I doubt it. I want options for when I'm sick at home or pregnant, raising a child, out of work....There, someone figure it out for me. I need to go to bed...should've a while ago.
I feel so lost without a private teacher...no money for one right now. I'll have to talk to a counselor but they don't know me AND they'll ask me the same questions everyone else has and I don't KNOW what I have planned for my life and I'll never be sure of what's yet to come...other than marrying Josh someday...possibly singing in some way or another and possibly signing. Haha signing and singing...weird. Grr and my voice is definitely not the same as it used to be so I don't know if I should stick with the goals I had when I was younger. I want it all I guess. Learning about all aspects of music jazz and classical I suppose but that's pretty darn hard and will take forever and who knows if I'm good enough. And yes I can go to school for a long time. I was already planning on that. I want to keep my options open...that's all I know. And I'm not concerned with a steady job really. Heh...that's Josh's job.
There...that's my goals. Be married to Josh (eventually..), do music in some fashion (teaching, performing, writing) and some sign language interpretting while we're at it..although I thought about teaching for that too, but I doubt it. I want options for when I'm sick at home or pregnant, raising a child, out of work....There, someone figure it out for me. I need to go to bed...should've a while ago.