Feel You
Hello, ff.net is being a royal pain in my...you know what. So I decided to post this here as well.
Title: Feel You
Author: muzicchick13
Characters: Faith/Buffy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: She barely notices when the doors open again, she doesn't look up because if it had been Buffy she would've known and since it's not Buffy, she doesn't care.
Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine, they belong to Joss Wedon, except for Alex...he's mine :).
Hello there. Well this was going to be a Fuffy one-shot but I've decided to combine Feel You and Tell You and add on a little more. It’s slightly AU in that the Scoobies are still in high school but Willow has already met and hooked up with Tara. So yeah there’s that. And I don’t own anything so please don’t sue me. Reviews are always nice and definitely appreciated. Thanks!
She felt her before she saw her.
Faith didn't know how it happened but she had sort of developed a sixth sense when it came to Buffy. It was in the way she could look up and just know who had entered the room without even laying eyes on her. At first she just put it down to being a Slayer thing, you know, like the tingles she got whenever a vamp was around. Even the accelerated heart rate and adrenaline rush were the same. But after time and a little probing into whether or not Buffy had the same reaction with, Faith, herself, she kind of gave up on the whole Slayer connection. Or maybe rather Buffy had given it up for her.
"You're kinda creepin' me out with all the questions F." She'd said teasingly, but Faith had again felt, rather than seen, the truth.
It was in the uneasiness of her, as the blonde refused to make direct eye-contact and shifted on her feet every few minutes. The way she stole little glances at the brunette from under her eyelashes as if saying, I know you're watching me and I'm watching you to make sure you know but I don't want you to know I'm watching you...sort of.
The point is, Faith gave up on trying to figure out why and what it was, and just sort of let it be. And eventually Buffy's uneasiness was replaced with an ease that lit up her whole presence whenever she was around Faith. The ease of an old friendship found anew.
Maybe it was the way the tiny blonde would never back down from a banter with the brunette, even though she knew that no matter what the younger slayer would always come out on top.
It was comfortable, something Faith didn't have a whole lot of, and she wasn't about to let it go because of a stupid 'feeling' she got.
So she didn't pause to think about it as she raised her eyes to the library doors. She didn't wonder who's hand was pushing them open. Nor did she stop the smile that spread across her face as she was, once again, proven right.
Buffy turned to her, letting the door swing shut behind her. She scrunched up her nose in an inquisitive smile.
"You look like you knew I was coming." She says lightly, hopping up on the table next to the brunette. Faith stretches a bit, closing the book she'd been researching in.
"Maybe I did." She says, grinning rogueoushly. To her it's the truth, to Buffy it's just another one of Faith's attempts to flirt. Not that she minds all that much. Actually finds it kinda cute in a...Faith way, so she just smiles back and Faith, in turn, smiles back to her even brighter.
This seems to happen a lot when Buffy's in the room, she just finds herself smiling for no apparent reason. She'd never complain though, anything that gives Faith a reason to smile is a good thing. The brunette glances up at the clock on the wall.
"Shouldn't you be in class?" At this, Buffy shrugs casually.
"I should be doing a lot of things...but yeah, I convinced Mr. Funkle that I really do need to pee three times a class period."
"Three times?" Faith asks, raising an eyebrow. Buffy sighs and rolls her eyes.
"Well the first time I really did pee, the second time I...got halfway here but decided that you were probably busy doing something really important and the third time..." she trails off lamely. Faith finds herself smiling just a little bit more.
"Third time's the charm." She says, wondering how it is that a girl who has faced so much horror and tragedy in her life can sit here and awe Faith with her innocence.
"Yep, pretty much." Buffy says matter-of-factly, not noticing the way, Faith's eyes have gone kind of out of focus and her brows furrowed just the slightest bit in thought.
"Anyway, I better get back. Maybe I can convince him I have a bladder infection and just get out of that class entirely, of course that's risking almost total humiliation in front of the entire class which will undoubtedly spread to the entire school and whenever I walk down the halls people will stop and whisper, 'oh there goes the girl with the bladder infection.' She sighs, ending her rant. "I guess it could be worse. You gonna stick around for a while?"
Faith, who had only half-heard that little spiel, finally rejoins the convo, meeting Buffy's questioning gaze. She smiles again...just because.
"Sure thing." Buffy smiles too before hopping off the desk.
"Cool," she says, "if Giles comes back tell him his 'stuffy-old-english-guy-who-drinks-way-too-much-tea' scent is infiltrating the library again. We might have to get Wills to do a banishing spell just to get rid of the odor." At this Faith laughs and Buffy breaks into some giggles herself. The brunette stands up, waving at the doorway.
"Get to class slacker." She says leaning against the desk.
Buffy smiles and opens the door before turning back to her.
"Bye Faith."
"See ya B."
Faith watches as she leaves, she keeps her gaze on the door as she listens to sound of Buffy's footsteps fading away down the hall and even then doesn't look away when the library becomes completely still once again, all the while with that stupid grin plastered on her face. She barely notices when the doors open again, she doesn't look up because if it had been Buffy she wouldv'e known and since it's not Buffy, she doesn't care.
"Whoa weirdness, red alert. What's with the smiling of the Faith?" The red head's voice breaks the silence but Faith doesn't respond, she tries a little to hide the smile but it's no use, it never is. "I mean you've been around for a little while and I know your smiles and this is not a regular smile, this is a something is up smile and if something is up I'm not all together convinced that it's not a bad something and if it's a bad something I probably don't want to be near it and if you don't stop me soon I could lose consciousness from lack of oxygen." Faith finally turns her gaze to the babbling girl.
"And whose fault would that be?" Willow's mouth opens and closes a few times before she raises her chin defiantly.
"That would be mine." Faith chuckles, the smile never leaving her face as the red head settles herself next to her. "But seriously, what's the what, cause not that you shouldn't smile, but just the fact that you are...totally creepin' me out."
Faith sighs as she pushes off the table, she turns and regards the girl in front of her.
Willow finds herself almost shrinking under the dark slayer's curious gaze.
"Have you ever known someone..." she starts off slowly. Willow would have interjected that, duh, of course she knows people, but knowing that the brunette's thought process wasn't complete, along with the fact that she seems to actually be confiding in her, she keeps her mouth shut, simply willing the other girl to continue. Faith shakes her head, almost losing her resolve but keeps going, "...and it's like, you've known that person your whole life, even when you haven't? And just seeing that person brings a smile to your face, no matter what?" She shakes her head again. "I dunno, it's weird." Willow smiles. Wow, of all the things she'd expected Faith to say and here's something she actually knows about.
"Yeah I have," she says, answering the initial question, "I do." Faith looks up, meeting her gaze.
"Yeah?" Willow nods. "Well who is it?" Faith asks in her oh-so-overt way.
"Tara." Willow says simply. She wouldv'e stopped there but Faith seems to be needing more of an answer than that. "When we first met. Before...before I knew...you know." Faith nods, smiling. "It was like...I can't even describe it, like...sunshine on a cloudy day. God that sounds so stupid but that's what it was. And sometimes it was almost like...like I could feel her coming, you know?" Faith raises her eyebrows in suprise. Ixnay on the Ayerslay Onnectioncay. "No of course you don't know. But I dunno, I would just find myself smiling for no reason at all. Even after she'd gone I just couldn't stop, my whole day was seemed brighter and just better and..." Her eyes meet Faith's, growing wide with comprehension.
"You have a Tara! I mean not necessarily a Tara or a girl for that matter cause as far as I know you’re a man's lady, not that I've given this a lot of thought, it's just that from all outward appearances-"
"It's Buffy." Faith interrupts.
"-you seem...WHAT?" And Willow's staring at her like she's got a third arm growing out the top of her head. Faith chuckles sadly.
"I'm in love with Buffy." The red head's doing the fish thing again, her mout gaping and closing a few times.
"You..I mean...are you sure? I mean, I mean do you even, with the girl thing and the gay and the-" Faith interrupts again.
"That I've been sure of for a while, I'm surprised you Scoobs didn’t pick up on it sooner, although I'm pretty sure Xander has been entertaining his own Slayer-on-Slayer fantasies for quite some time."
"He wouldn't!" Willow exclaims, but under Faith's you've-got-to-be-kidding-me gaze she slowly concedes. "Alright...so...so he would but...but Faith...Buffy?"
Faith nods. "Buffy."
"Wow." Willow deadpans.
"Yeah, I know, right?" They're quiet for a few moments, the only sound coming from Willow, nervously scoffing her shoe on the floor.
"Does...does she know?" The red head asks. Faith shakes her head.
"Naw, B's got bigger, better, deader things on her mind." Willow laughs half-heartedly.
"This is true. But I mean, are you gonna tell her?" Faith's gaze settles on the corner of the table as she shrugs slightly.
"How can I?"
And for once, Willow doesn't have the answer. Faith sighs crossing her arms.
"It's just something I've kinda gotta accept ya know? S'never gonna happen and I'm...ok with that."
And finally the smile left over from Buffy’s visit has dissipated. Her brow's furrowed, her lips drawn into a small but contemplative frown.
"Are you really though?" Willow ventures softly. Faith shrugs.
"I gotta be." The library falls quiet once again, Faith is off in her thoughts and Willow is simply observing Faith. She sees a sadness creep it's way onto her face, a sadness she assumes is always there, lingering just under the surface but just as quickly the sadness disappears, replaced by a quiet resolve and something akin to peace. The red head is about to take her leave when she sees Faith's mouth quirk into the smallest of smiles.
"What is it?" She asks.
Faith meets her gaze, the smile growing even more.
"Buffy's coming."
Alright, next chapter. Was originally a sequal story before the merger. Hope you like. As always I don’t own anything. Read and review :)
Willow looked up as the doors were pushed open by an overly cheerful Buffy.
“Just so you guys don’t hear it second-hand, it’s official I’ve come down with a very serious case of bladderitis infectioutis.” She said, strutting towards them.
“Um Buffy I don’t think that’s an actual-“ Willow started only to be cut off by Faith.
“Tell me you didn’t!” She said, grinning emphatically.
Buffy nodded. “Yup, bladder infection. I’ll probably be out for the rest of the day.” Faith hopped down from the table and swaggered towards Buffy.
“Right on girlfriend.” She said, giving the blonde a high-five. “Look at you, Big Bad B. What next? Gonna become a woman of the night? Am I gonna have to patrol the street corners of Sunnydale making sure you’re not selling your body for money?” Buffy rolled her eyes as Faith looked her up and down.
“No, but you’d like that wouldn’t you?”
The brunette shrugged, “I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t.” Buffy laughed and punched her playfully in the shoulder.
“Hey Wills, what’s up?”
Willow had, after her conversation with Faith, been watching the interaction between the two. Faith was right, The Scoobies really should have caught on sooner. It was so obviously blatant, I mean, hello?!
“Up? Nothing! Nothings up, not a thing.” The red head caught a glimpse of Faith over Buffy’s shoulder. The dark slayer silently pleading with her not to tell Buffy anything but Buffy was looking at her skeptically already.
“Alright dish.” She said, hopping up on the table besides Willow. “What’s the what?”
“Really Buffy, it’s nothing.” But Buffy was giving her the look that meant, ‘I know you know something and I’m not giving up until I know too’ and that look always worked with Willow. Only this time it wouldn’t, it couldn’t. Willow had no intention of telling Buffy what Faith had confided in her. No way, no how, un uh mister. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Faith. She was poised like a wild animal ready to strike. Her eyes were wide with fear. She was ready to either knock the red head on her ass or bolt.
“Wills, come on. You know you suck at keeping secrets from me so just spill already!”
“It’s nothing!” Willow was starting to get nervous, she never held up well under pressure and what Buffy was doing was definitely pressure.
“Willow!”
She chanced a glance at Faith, who just barely shook her head, her jaw set, her eyes piercing into Willows. “I can’t Buffy!”
“Just tell me already!”
“Faith’s in love with you!” The frenzy which had been growing came to a sudden halt. Willow had shot a hand over her mouth the second the words came flooding out. Faith had clamped her eyes shut, as if willing herself to be anywhere but in that library at that moment. And Buffy was simply staring between the two, confusion evident on her face. After several tense moments Buffy shook her head as if coming out of dream, she laughed nervously.
“Sorry, what?” She asked Willow, as if it was all just a joke.
But Willow, who wouldn’t move her hand from her mouth, just kept her head down shaking it back and forth.
When Buffy moved to touch her shoulder the red head jumped up, “I have to go,” and practically ran from the library. The doors clicked shut, and the sound of Willows footsteps had all but faded away when Buffy finally chanced a look at the younger girl.
“Faith?” She asked softly. At this the brunette finally opened her eyes but made a point to look anywhere but at Buffy.
“Faith...” The blonde continued. “Faith, is it true?”
Faith, who had been staring pointedly at the ceiling closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath before finally settling her gaze on Buffy’s startling green eyes.
“Yeah B...it’s true.”
Buffy’s mouth formed a small ‘o’, and she nodded slightly.
“Wh...why didn’t you tell me?” She asked softly.
Faith let out a nervous laugh. “Kinda trying to avoid a situation like this B.” Buffy nodded again, she slowly moved from the table and came to stand in front of Faith. When she got closer to the younger girl, she saw that her jaw was clenched, her eyes shining with unshed tears. Buffy had never seen Faith cry, for anything. That fact alone was enough to make her own eyes well and prickle with tears. She took a shaky breath in and tried to meet the taller girls gaze.
“Faith...I can’t.”
Faith let her eyes fall shut as she nodded. She had known what the answer would be all along but it sure hurt like hell to actually hear it. “I know.” And Buffy watched as a single tear slide down the younger girls cheek, it was too much for her and she tried to hold back the sob that was escaping her throat but it was no use. Tears started to cascade down her cheeks. Faith opened her eyes hearing Buffy’s sob.
“Hey.” She said softly, bringing a hand up to wipe away the blondes tears. Buffy brought her hand up to Faith’s squeezing it lightly. Buffy looked up, her eyes clear and bright. And gorgeous, Faith thought. And before she realized what she was doing, her lips were grazing Buffy’s ever so lightly. Buffy hadn’t even begun to register the fact that Faith was kissing her, or the fact that she had started to kiss her back, or the fact that it was the sweetest, most gentle kiss she’d ever had, when Faith pulled back, resting her forehead against Buffy’s.
“I love you.” The words were barely a whisper, so soft that she was hardly sure she’d said them. But she had and Buffy had heard because she met her gaze again.
“Faith, I ca-”
“I know. I just...needed to tell you.” Buffy nodded and the two slowly pulled apart, only their clasped hands now touching. Faith gave Buffy’s hand a gentle squeeze before backing away towards the door, a soft, sad smile on her face. “Be seein’ ya B.” She said turning to open the door.
“Wait!” Faith’s shaking hand, paused on the handle as she turned to regard the blonde. “Where are you going?” Confusion was written all over Buffy’s face but Faith merely shrugged.
“Dunno.”
“Well, when will I see you?” Buffy’s voice was shaky, as if she already knew the answer.
“You won’t.”
“Faith, no!”
But it was too late, Faith was already out the door and by the time Buffy had raced out after her, the halls were clear, not a person in sight. Buffy sagged against the wall, and slid down to sit on the floor. She hung her head down, the tears flowing freely again.
It was a long time before she finally stopped, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. But something on the ground caught her eye. She bent forward to pick it up, it was a ring. A small smile lit up her face.
“Faith’s ring.” She said softly.
She stood up slowly, examining it closely. She jumped when the bell signaling the end of class suddenly sounded. People started pouring into the halls.
She took one last look at the ring before gently slipping it on her finger. She smiled.
“Perfect fit.”
End
Please review
Third installment in the 'You' series. Look to the earlier chapters for disclaimers. Reviews are always awesome and appreciated. Have fun :)It’s funny, I never actually thought I’d do it.
I mean yeah, sure, I’d always dreamed of confessing my undying love for Buffy only to make a grand romantic gesture and do the noble thing by...you know...leaving.
I can’t help the snort that escapes my throat.
Running’s more like it. But I’m trying not to focus so much on that you know. Point is, it wouldn’t have worked anyway. No way, no how.
So now I’m headin’ north up the highway. It’s cold as fuck but I don’t mind. The wind whippin’ past me and the freedom I have on my bike more than makes up for it.
Now I know what you’re thinkin’, where the hell’d you get the crotch rocket Faith? I didn’t steal it if that’s what you mean. Nah, bailed out of the apartment, got my security deposit back and thought, what the hell. It’s better than riding the damn bus.
So yeah, here I am, dead of night, middle of freakin’ nowhere. I decided to take the coastal route ya know? Get the view and a bit of sea air in my lungs. I like it, think I’ll stay a little closer from now on.
Anyway, like I said, I’ve been riding for hours, my bones are aching, I’m hungry as hell and that’s when it happened. The coastline veered in a bit ahead of me, I could see the beach gleamin’ white in the moonlight, little white lights dottin’ it, and the hills were the most perfect green surroundin’ the whole area ya know? I dunno, maybe you don’t but...it just felt right. It was like, that’s where I’m going.
So I pull off the 1, the exit sign says Pismo Beach. Yeah, I’ve heard of it. Sounds pretty cool to me. I find my way down to the beach in no time, park my bike, shake out my hair, stretch a bit before finally walking out onto the beach. I’ve never seen the ocean before...at least not like this.
I dunno what it is but I got this sudden urge to just kick off my boots, my socks and just dig my feet in, right here. I gotta tell you, that is one amazing feeling. I’m breathing all deep and sentimental and shit but before you know it I’m a fuckin’ 10-year-old. Running down to the water, barely gettin’ my toes wet before squealing...yeah squealing, and running back again. I dunno how long I did that for but if anyone was around they’d have thought I was insane.
Anyway, I’m tired as hell so I just sorta fall back onto the sand, take my jacket off and just look at the stars. Holy crap...stars, like lots of them, and with the sounds and smells of the ocean in the background. I smile, like really actually smile for the first time in a hell of a long time.
“Perfect fit.”
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“Still no word from Faith huh?” Willow’s voice penetrates the dull quiet of the library. Buffy’s sitting at the table using her arms as a pillow, she turns to regard her friend.
“Nope.” She says simply. “It’s kinda weird. I never actually thought she’d go, you know?” Willow nods but doesn’t reply. “I mean...she said she loves me and not that I’m all gung-ho for that, but why’d she have to go?”
“Are you kidding Buffy?” Willow says, plunking herself down across from the slayer. “Do you really think she was just gonna hang around knowing you could never love her back?” Buffy sits up and shrugs a little. “She was doin’ the whole noble thing Buff. Letting you get on with your life and stuff by leaving. It’s kinda like that time on Passions when Eric left Alex because she was in love with Steven but wasn’t really and...” Willow trails off.
“Leaving? More like running away.” Buffy says irritably.
“Come on, don’t think about it like that. It had to have been really hard on her.” At this Buffy’s eyes cloud over, nose crinkles with worry. “Not that she couldn’t handle herself, I mean it is Faith we’re talking about.” Buffy nods.
“Where do you think she is right now?” The blonde asks sadly.
“I dunno Buff...she could be anywhere.” At Buffy’s look though, Willow comes back immediately with, “I mean, not really anywhere, probably within’ a five-hundred mile radius of good ole Sunny-D, excepting if she hopped a plane, which she probably didn’t! And also not really five-hundred miles west either cause that would put her in the middle of the ocean and unless she hopped a boat or something, again possible but not plausible, she’s probably-”
“Ok Will’s really not helping the situation.” Buffy says, cutting off Willow’s ramble.
“Sorry Buff.” They sit in silence for a few moments before Willow jumps up with a small, “ooh!”
“Ooh? What ooh?” Buffy asks.
“Well, we could always do the Scooby thing.” Willow says excitedly. Buffy looks at her blankly.
“What Scooby thing?” She asks.
“You know, we could like investigate and track her down and stuff.” Buffy smiles sadly before shaking her head.
“I don’t think she wants to be found Wills. I’m at least gonna respect that.” Willow nods with understanding and goes around the table to give Buffy a hug from behind.
“It’s gonna be ok.”
“I know Wills but that doesn’t mean it’s not gonna be hard.” Willow gives her a little squeeze before releasing her.
“Oh good you two are here.” Buffy and Willow look up to see what Giles has in store for them. “Where’s Faith?” Buffy shuts her eyes, trying to block out the onslaught of emotions.
“She’s gone.” She says quietly.
“Gone? Where to?” Buffy simply shrugs. “Well do you know when she’ll be back? I’ve just been alerted to some rather demonic activity around the area.” Buffy takes in a deep breath before replying.
“She’s not coming back.” Giles furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
“Not coming...oh...oh I see.” As realization dawns on him, he takes off his glasses and cleans them nervously. “Well never-the-less, Buffy, you’ll need to head down to the docks and patrol as soon as you can.” Buffy nods, and slaps her hands down on the arms of the chair before getting up.
“I”m on it.” She heads for the doors but is stopped by Giles voice.
“Oh and Buffy, don’t do anything rash.” She turns to regard him, smirking in a Faith-like way.
“You mean with the demons or with Faith?”
“Um well preferably both.”
Buffy nods but is out the door without an answer.
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‘When will I see you?’
‘You won’t’...
It’s drivin’ me crazy that even after six months that dream is still haunting me. I know what you’re thinking, if the dream’s haunting me shouldn’t I call it a nightmare? But I won’t...because if Buffy’s there it’s not a nightmare. And yeah I’m still hung up on her too. For some reason I pictured this being easy, well actually, I guess for the most part it was.
The morning after that first night I spent on the beach I cruised up and down the main drag, turned out a fancy pants restaurant was hiring, waitress position. I went in and they said if I toned down the eyeliner, got a pair of slacks and a blouse, they’d hire me.
I don’t care what anybody says...the whole suit look, minus the actually suit...totally hot, especially on me. I used that to my advantage too. I can still see the pissed off look on the other waitresses faces, watching me count my much larger wad of tips.
Course a week later I got some competition in the form of Alex. Personally I don’t think it’s fair that he gets to wear more eyeliner than me but whatever, he’s a good guy. So good in fact that now we’re roommates.
Yep, I spent those first couple weeks like I always do, in a run down hotel room, but then Alex showed up, said he was new in town and looking for a roommate.
Now normally I wouldn’t shack up with a guy unless I was gonna marry him or he was a total flamer. Take a guess as to which one it was. I’m still workin’ up the courage to tell the other waitresses...it’s a gay thing.
Anyway, we stayed at the hotel until we’d saved up enough money for a down payment on a place and I must say, it’s workin’ out pretty well in my favor. The guy cooks, cleans...hell, if he weren’t gay I’d go straight for him...maybe...if there weren’t a certain blonde in my past.
Point is I’m doin’ alright for myself. The only thing keepin’ me from being totally happy...the aforementioned blonde. I keep telling myself maybe things like this just take time. Then a little voice that sounds annoyingly...well blonde...pops in and says, “Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt Faith.”
Whatever, I was never good with the whole geography thing anyway. That’s why I’m not gonna get hung up on it and just go right back to sleep...or at least I would if there weren’t overly loud moans coming from the next room. I bang on the wall a couple of times.
“Keep it down you two!” I’m not really angry, I gotta admit the boys have stamina. It’s 3 in the mornin’ for god’s sake.
“Sorry Faithy!” I swear he is the only person I will let call me that. Anyone else would have their testicles ripped off by now. So yeah...3 in the morning. If I stare at the ceiling for just a little longer, I’ll be out.
‘Buffy, no!’
‘Willow, find Faith! She’ll be the only one who can stop him now.”
Ok, so remember how I said any dream with Buffy in it is definitely a dream? I was so, so wrong. Because a dream that has Buffy dying is definitely my worst nightmare. So now I’m sittin’ here with my legs all pulled up to my chest wonderin’ what to do. I got a cell cause the manager at work needed a way to reach me if somebody called in sick. I guess I could give her a call. But I don’t really wanna talk to her ya know? It’s like smoking then quittin’ cold turkey. I can’t go back, even if it’s just one cigarette, cause it’ll never be just one and then I’d have to quit all over again. Damn I’m lame when I get all metaphorical and shit.
I’m debating goin’ and waking Alex up but the boys need their beauty sleep after their long night. I’ve told him about Buffy, sometimes he rides me about going back and making her love me. He says he’s only joking but I know there’s some truth behind his words. Other than that, he’s just kinda been like my rock, my best friend I guess, the person I tell all my troubles to. Kinda like my own personal...and that’s when it hits me. I don’t have to call Buffy to know what’s goin’ on in good ole’ Sunnyhell. I check the clock; 5:47, still too early to call but the gym opens at six and I’m jonesin’ to get some of this nervous energy out.
I’m out the door 5 minutes later, granola bar in one hand and a note on the counter for Alex. Yup, I’m gay-whipped alright, we’re practically married and that makes me smile...just a little, cause it takes my mind off Buffy...just a little.
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Next chapter!!! YAY
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“Hey Red, how’s the weather down in Sunny-D?”
Yep, I took the plunge and called her best friend. I know, I know, it’s practically the same as just calling Buffy up herself cause I know Willow’s gonna tell her every word I say, but it’s hard enough trying to keep my resolve without hearin’ her voice on the other side.
“...Faith? Oh my god, it is you isn’t it? Where have you been? What have you been doing? Is everything ok? Buffy has been nothing short of mope-y since you left you know. Why did you have to leave like that?”
Ok so yeah, I expected the barrage of questions but it’s still tough hearin’ them. There’s no way I’m goin’ into that. I’m just calling to check up.
“Hang on there Red, I asked you a question first remember?”
“What?...Oh! Yeah um well it’s...sunny down here...down...oh, so that must mean you’re north! Exactly how far north exactly?”
I sigh and laugh a little to myself. She’s quick, I’ll give her that. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to let them know where I am, tell ‘em I’m doin’ alright for myself.
“Pismo Beach and yeah, everything’s cool. I’ve got an apartment, a waitressing job, a roommate-”
“Roommate?”
I can practically hear the wheels in her head turning.
“Yeah, Alex.”
Silence...for some reason this is hilarious to me.
“Oh...is...Alex...um are you two...”
“Well see there’s this little matter of him havin’ a boyfriend but...”
I hear the sigh of relief on her end, and it irks me a little ya know? What would it matter if I’d found a chick and shacked up with her? I’m movin’ on with my life. I gave Buffy her chance. She missed it...whatever.
“Well good for you Faith.”
Better just cut to the chase, I’m startin’ to lose my nerve.
“Yeah well I was just callin’ to check in, see what was happenin’ on the home front you know? Any unusually dangerous big bads wreaking havoc?”
“Um...no not really, just the usual...why do you ask?”
And the room just got a ton hotter. For some reason telling Red that I had a ‘scary dream’ isn’t sounding as thought out as I had planned.
“Uh, no reason. Just wonderin’. Anyway, it was good talkin’ to you Red. Catch ya later.”
“What, no Faith wait you should really call Buffy and-”
Shit. No, no, no, no.
“What’s that?”
When all else fails feign static.
“I’m kinda losin’ you Red. Gotta go.”
Click
“Hello?”
“Buffy, it’s Willow.”
“Oh hey Wills, what’s up?”
“It’s about Faith.”
Willow could hear Buffy’s breath catch in her throat.
“What...what about her?...Is she ok?”
She can’t be dead. Please don’t let her be dead.
“Yeah, she’s fine Buff. Great actually. She just called me.”
Buffy idly twisted the telephone cord.
“What did she say? I mean...did she want anything?”
Did she ask about me?
“She said she was just checking in. Asked if there were any unusually tough big bads to deal with. I told her nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Oh.”
Guess not.
“Well you said she’s doing good?”
“Oh yeah! She said she got an apartment and she’s a waitress and she has a new roommate.”
“Roommate?”
Damn you voice for squeaking unnaturally.
“Don’t worry Buff.”
Guess Willow noticed too.
“His name’s Alex and he has a boyfriend.”
His...boyfriend...what?...ooohhh.
“Oh well that’s...that’s good I guess. Did she mention where she was?”
Fingers crossed.
“Yeah! She’s living up in Pismo Beach.”
Oh thank god. And here I was thinking she’d hopped a plane to Italy or something. Pismo's not that far away, it’d only take half a day to get there. Let’s see it’s almost 9, I could be there by 4 probably if I left soon enough.
“Um Buffy? You still there? Hello?”
Oops, sorry Willow.
“Yeah Wills I’m here. Listen I gotta go but I’ll call you later ok?”
“Wait Buffy no. I know what you’re thinking and you can’t, you won’t! I’m forbidding you from going to see her!”
Crap.
“What was that Wills?”
When all else fails, feign static.
“Willow? Hello? I think I’m losing you. Hey, I’ll call you later!”
Click
Willow hung up angrily on the other side, and growled to no one in particular.
“Land lines do not have static!”
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2 more chapters to come in next post.
X-posting
Title: Feel You
Author: muzicchick13
Characters: Faith/Buffy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: She barely notices when the doors open again, she doesn't look up because if it had been Buffy she would've known and since it's not Buffy, she doesn't care.
Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine, they belong to Joss Wedon, except for Alex...he's mine :).
Hello there. Well this was going to be a Fuffy one-shot but I've decided to combine Feel You and Tell You and add on a little more. It’s slightly AU in that the Scoobies are still in high school but Willow has already met and hooked up with Tara. So yeah there’s that. And I don’t own anything so please don’t sue me. Reviews are always nice and definitely appreciated. Thanks!
She felt her before she saw her.
Faith didn't know how it happened but she had sort of developed a sixth sense when it came to Buffy. It was in the way she could look up and just know who had entered the room without even laying eyes on her. At first she just put it down to being a Slayer thing, you know, like the tingles she got whenever a vamp was around. Even the accelerated heart rate and adrenaline rush were the same. But after time and a little probing into whether or not Buffy had the same reaction with, Faith, herself, she kind of gave up on the whole Slayer connection. Or maybe rather Buffy had given it up for her.
"You're kinda creepin' me out with all the questions F." She'd said teasingly, but Faith had again felt, rather than seen, the truth.
It was in the uneasiness of her, as the blonde refused to make direct eye-contact and shifted on her feet every few minutes. The way she stole little glances at the brunette from under her eyelashes as if saying, I know you're watching me and I'm watching you to make sure you know but I don't want you to know I'm watching you...sort of.
The point is, Faith gave up on trying to figure out why and what it was, and just sort of let it be. And eventually Buffy's uneasiness was replaced with an ease that lit up her whole presence whenever she was around Faith. The ease of an old friendship found anew.
Maybe it was the way the tiny blonde would never back down from a banter with the brunette, even though she knew that no matter what the younger slayer would always come out on top.
It was comfortable, something Faith didn't have a whole lot of, and she wasn't about to let it go because of a stupid 'feeling' she got.
So she didn't pause to think about it as she raised her eyes to the library doors. She didn't wonder who's hand was pushing them open. Nor did she stop the smile that spread across her face as she was, once again, proven right.
Buffy turned to her, letting the door swing shut behind her. She scrunched up her nose in an inquisitive smile.
"You look like you knew I was coming." She says lightly, hopping up on the table next to the brunette. Faith stretches a bit, closing the book she'd been researching in.
"Maybe I did." She says, grinning rogueoushly. To her it's the truth, to Buffy it's just another one of Faith's attempts to flirt. Not that she minds all that much. Actually finds it kinda cute in a...Faith way, so she just smiles back and Faith, in turn, smiles back to her even brighter.
This seems to happen a lot when Buffy's in the room, she just finds herself smiling for no apparent reason. She'd never complain though, anything that gives Faith a reason to smile is a good thing. The brunette glances up at the clock on the wall.
"Shouldn't you be in class?" At this, Buffy shrugs casually.
"I should be doing a lot of things...but yeah, I convinced Mr. Funkle that I really do need to pee three times a class period."
"Three times?" Faith asks, raising an eyebrow. Buffy sighs and rolls her eyes.
"Well the first time I really did pee, the second time I...got halfway here but decided that you were probably busy doing something really important and the third time..." she trails off lamely. Faith finds herself smiling just a little bit more.
"Third time's the charm." She says, wondering how it is that a girl who has faced so much horror and tragedy in her life can sit here and awe Faith with her innocence.
"Yep, pretty much." Buffy says matter-of-factly, not noticing the way, Faith's eyes have gone kind of out of focus and her brows furrowed just the slightest bit in thought.
"Anyway, I better get back. Maybe I can convince him I have a bladder infection and just get out of that class entirely, of course that's risking almost total humiliation in front of the entire class which will undoubtedly spread to the entire school and whenever I walk down the halls people will stop and whisper, 'oh there goes the girl with the bladder infection.' She sighs, ending her rant. "I guess it could be worse. You gonna stick around for a while?"
Faith, who had only half-heard that little spiel, finally rejoins the convo, meeting Buffy's questioning gaze. She smiles again...just because.
"Sure thing." Buffy smiles too before hopping off the desk.
"Cool," she says, "if Giles comes back tell him his 'stuffy-old-english-guy-who-drinks-way-too-much-tea' scent is infiltrating the library again. We might have to get Wills to do a banishing spell just to get rid of the odor." At this Faith laughs and Buffy breaks into some giggles herself. The brunette stands up, waving at the doorway.
"Get to class slacker." She says leaning against the desk.
Buffy smiles and opens the door before turning back to her.
"Bye Faith."
"See ya B."
Faith watches as she leaves, she keeps her gaze on the door as she listens to sound of Buffy's footsteps fading away down the hall and even then doesn't look away when the library becomes completely still once again, all the while with that stupid grin plastered on her face. She barely notices when the doors open again, she doesn't look up because if it had been Buffy she wouldv'e known and since it's not Buffy, she doesn't care.
"Whoa weirdness, red alert. What's with the smiling of the Faith?" The red head's voice breaks the silence but Faith doesn't respond, she tries a little to hide the smile but it's no use, it never is. "I mean you've been around for a little while and I know your smiles and this is not a regular smile, this is a something is up smile and if something is up I'm not all together convinced that it's not a bad something and if it's a bad something I probably don't want to be near it and if you don't stop me soon I could lose consciousness from lack of oxygen." Faith finally turns her gaze to the babbling girl.
"And whose fault would that be?" Willow's mouth opens and closes a few times before she raises her chin defiantly.
"That would be mine." Faith chuckles, the smile never leaving her face as the red head settles herself next to her. "But seriously, what's the what, cause not that you shouldn't smile, but just the fact that you are...totally creepin' me out."
Faith sighs as she pushes off the table, she turns and regards the girl in front of her.
Willow finds herself almost shrinking under the dark slayer's curious gaze.
"Have you ever known someone..." she starts off slowly. Willow would have interjected that, duh, of course she knows people, but knowing that the brunette's thought process wasn't complete, along with the fact that she seems to actually be confiding in her, she keeps her mouth shut, simply willing the other girl to continue. Faith shakes her head, almost losing her resolve but keeps going, "...and it's like, you've known that person your whole life, even when you haven't? And just seeing that person brings a smile to your face, no matter what?" She shakes her head again. "I dunno, it's weird." Willow smiles. Wow, of all the things she'd expected Faith to say and here's something she actually knows about.
"Yeah I have," she says, answering the initial question, "I do." Faith looks up, meeting her gaze.
"Yeah?" Willow nods. "Well who is it?" Faith asks in her oh-so-overt way.
"Tara." Willow says simply. She wouldv'e stopped there but Faith seems to be needing more of an answer than that. "When we first met. Before...before I knew...you know." Faith nods, smiling. "It was like...I can't even describe it, like...sunshine on a cloudy day. God that sounds so stupid but that's what it was. And sometimes it was almost like...like I could feel her coming, you know?" Faith raises her eyebrows in suprise. Ixnay on the Ayerslay Onnectioncay. "No of course you don't know. But I dunno, I would just find myself smiling for no reason at all. Even after she'd gone I just couldn't stop, my whole day was seemed brighter and just better and..." Her eyes meet Faith's, growing wide with comprehension.
"You have a Tara! I mean not necessarily a Tara or a girl for that matter cause as far as I know you’re a man's lady, not that I've given this a lot of thought, it's just that from all outward appearances-"
"It's Buffy." Faith interrupts.
"-you seem...WHAT?" And Willow's staring at her like she's got a third arm growing out the top of her head. Faith chuckles sadly.
"I'm in love with Buffy." The red head's doing the fish thing again, her mout gaping and closing a few times.
"You..I mean...are you sure? I mean, I mean do you even, with the girl thing and the gay and the-" Faith interrupts again.
"That I've been sure of for a while, I'm surprised you Scoobs didn’t pick up on it sooner, although I'm pretty sure Xander has been entertaining his own Slayer-on-Slayer fantasies for quite some time."
"He wouldn't!" Willow exclaims, but under Faith's you've-got-to-be-kidding-me gaze she slowly concedes. "Alright...so...so he would but...but Faith...Buffy?"
Faith nods. "Buffy."
"Wow." Willow deadpans.
"Yeah, I know, right?" They're quiet for a few moments, the only sound coming from Willow, nervously scoffing her shoe on the floor.
"Does...does she know?" The red head asks. Faith shakes her head.
"Naw, B's got bigger, better, deader things on her mind." Willow laughs half-heartedly.
"This is true. But I mean, are you gonna tell her?" Faith's gaze settles on the corner of the table as she shrugs slightly.
"How can I?"
And for once, Willow doesn't have the answer. Faith sighs crossing her arms.
"It's just something I've kinda gotta accept ya know? S'never gonna happen and I'm...ok with that."
And finally the smile left over from Buffy’s visit has dissipated. Her brow's furrowed, her lips drawn into a small but contemplative frown.
"Are you really though?" Willow ventures softly. Faith shrugs.
"I gotta be." The library falls quiet once again, Faith is off in her thoughts and Willow is simply observing Faith. She sees a sadness creep it's way onto her face, a sadness she assumes is always there, lingering just under the surface but just as quickly the sadness disappears, replaced by a quiet resolve and something akin to peace. The red head is about to take her leave when she sees Faith's mouth quirk into the smallest of smiles.
"What is it?" She asks.
Faith meets her gaze, the smile growing even more.
"Buffy's coming."
Alright, next chapter. Was originally a sequal story before the merger. Hope you like. As always I don’t own anything. Read and review :)
Willow looked up as the doors were pushed open by an overly cheerful Buffy.
“Just so you guys don’t hear it second-hand, it’s official I’ve come down with a very serious case of bladderitis infectioutis.” She said, strutting towards them.
“Um Buffy I don’t think that’s an actual-“ Willow started only to be cut off by Faith.
“Tell me you didn’t!” She said, grinning emphatically.
Buffy nodded. “Yup, bladder infection. I’ll probably be out for the rest of the day.” Faith hopped down from the table and swaggered towards Buffy.
“Right on girlfriend.” She said, giving the blonde a high-five. “Look at you, Big Bad B. What next? Gonna become a woman of the night? Am I gonna have to patrol the street corners of Sunnydale making sure you’re not selling your body for money?” Buffy rolled her eyes as Faith looked her up and down.
“No, but you’d like that wouldn’t you?”
The brunette shrugged, “I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t.” Buffy laughed and punched her playfully in the shoulder.
“Hey Wills, what’s up?”
Willow had, after her conversation with Faith, been watching the interaction between the two. Faith was right, The Scoobies really should have caught on sooner. It was so obviously blatant, I mean, hello?!
“Up? Nothing! Nothings up, not a thing.” The red head caught a glimpse of Faith over Buffy’s shoulder. The dark slayer silently pleading with her not to tell Buffy anything but Buffy was looking at her skeptically already.
“Alright dish.” She said, hopping up on the table besides Willow. “What’s the what?”
“Really Buffy, it’s nothing.” But Buffy was giving her the look that meant, ‘I know you know something and I’m not giving up until I know too’ and that look always worked with Willow. Only this time it wouldn’t, it couldn’t. Willow had no intention of telling Buffy what Faith had confided in her. No way, no how, un uh mister. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Faith. She was poised like a wild animal ready to strike. Her eyes were wide with fear. She was ready to either knock the red head on her ass or bolt.
“Wills, come on. You know you suck at keeping secrets from me so just spill already!”
“It’s nothing!” Willow was starting to get nervous, she never held up well under pressure and what Buffy was doing was definitely pressure.
“Willow!”
She chanced a glance at Faith, who just barely shook her head, her jaw set, her eyes piercing into Willows. “I can’t Buffy!”
“Just tell me already!”
“Faith’s in love with you!” The frenzy which had been growing came to a sudden halt. Willow had shot a hand over her mouth the second the words came flooding out. Faith had clamped her eyes shut, as if willing herself to be anywhere but in that library at that moment. And Buffy was simply staring between the two, confusion evident on her face. After several tense moments Buffy shook her head as if coming out of dream, she laughed nervously.
“Sorry, what?” She asked Willow, as if it was all just a joke.
But Willow, who wouldn’t move her hand from her mouth, just kept her head down shaking it back and forth.
When Buffy moved to touch her shoulder the red head jumped up, “I have to go,” and practically ran from the library. The doors clicked shut, and the sound of Willows footsteps had all but faded away when Buffy finally chanced a look at the younger girl.
“Faith?” She asked softly. At this the brunette finally opened her eyes but made a point to look anywhere but at Buffy.
“Faith...” The blonde continued. “Faith, is it true?”
Faith, who had been staring pointedly at the ceiling closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath before finally settling her gaze on Buffy’s startling green eyes.
“Yeah B...it’s true.”
Buffy’s mouth formed a small ‘o’, and she nodded slightly.
“Wh...why didn’t you tell me?” She asked softly.
Faith let out a nervous laugh. “Kinda trying to avoid a situation like this B.” Buffy nodded again, she slowly moved from the table and came to stand in front of Faith. When she got closer to the younger girl, she saw that her jaw was clenched, her eyes shining with unshed tears. Buffy had never seen Faith cry, for anything. That fact alone was enough to make her own eyes well and prickle with tears. She took a shaky breath in and tried to meet the taller girls gaze.
“Faith...I can’t.”
Faith let her eyes fall shut as she nodded. She had known what the answer would be all along but it sure hurt like hell to actually hear it. “I know.” And Buffy watched as a single tear slide down the younger girls cheek, it was too much for her and she tried to hold back the sob that was escaping her throat but it was no use. Tears started to cascade down her cheeks. Faith opened her eyes hearing Buffy’s sob.
“Hey.” She said softly, bringing a hand up to wipe away the blondes tears. Buffy brought her hand up to Faith’s squeezing it lightly. Buffy looked up, her eyes clear and bright. And gorgeous, Faith thought. And before she realized what she was doing, her lips were grazing Buffy’s ever so lightly. Buffy hadn’t even begun to register the fact that Faith was kissing her, or the fact that she had started to kiss her back, or the fact that it was the sweetest, most gentle kiss she’d ever had, when Faith pulled back, resting her forehead against Buffy’s.
“I love you.” The words were barely a whisper, so soft that she was hardly sure she’d said them. But she had and Buffy had heard because she met her gaze again.
“Faith, I ca-”
“I know. I just...needed to tell you.” Buffy nodded and the two slowly pulled apart, only their clasped hands now touching. Faith gave Buffy’s hand a gentle squeeze before backing away towards the door, a soft, sad smile on her face. “Be seein’ ya B.” She said turning to open the door.
“Wait!” Faith’s shaking hand, paused on the handle as she turned to regard the blonde. “Where are you going?” Confusion was written all over Buffy’s face but Faith merely shrugged.
“Dunno.”
“Well, when will I see you?” Buffy’s voice was shaky, as if she already knew the answer.
“You won’t.”
“Faith, no!”
But it was too late, Faith was already out the door and by the time Buffy had raced out after her, the halls were clear, not a person in sight. Buffy sagged against the wall, and slid down to sit on the floor. She hung her head down, the tears flowing freely again.
It was a long time before she finally stopped, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. But something on the ground caught her eye. She bent forward to pick it up, it was a ring. A small smile lit up her face.
“Faith’s ring.” She said softly.
She stood up slowly, examining it closely. She jumped when the bell signaling the end of class suddenly sounded. People started pouring into the halls.
She took one last look at the ring before gently slipping it on her finger. She smiled.
“Perfect fit.”
End
Please review
Third installment in the 'You' series. Look to the earlier chapters for disclaimers. Reviews are always awesome and appreciated. Have fun :)It’s funny, I never actually thought I’d do it.
I mean yeah, sure, I’d always dreamed of confessing my undying love for Buffy only to make a grand romantic gesture and do the noble thing by...you know...leaving.
I can’t help the snort that escapes my throat.
Running’s more like it. But I’m trying not to focus so much on that you know. Point is, it wouldn’t have worked anyway. No way, no how.
So now I’m headin’ north up the highway. It’s cold as fuck but I don’t mind. The wind whippin’ past me and the freedom I have on my bike more than makes up for it.
Now I know what you’re thinkin’, where the hell’d you get the crotch rocket Faith? I didn’t steal it if that’s what you mean. Nah, bailed out of the apartment, got my security deposit back and thought, what the hell. It’s better than riding the damn bus.
So yeah, here I am, dead of night, middle of freakin’ nowhere. I decided to take the coastal route ya know? Get the view and a bit of sea air in my lungs. I like it, think I’ll stay a little closer from now on.
Anyway, like I said, I’ve been riding for hours, my bones are aching, I’m hungry as hell and that’s when it happened. The coastline veered in a bit ahead of me, I could see the beach gleamin’ white in the moonlight, little white lights dottin’ it, and the hills were the most perfect green surroundin’ the whole area ya know? I dunno, maybe you don’t but...it just felt right. It was like, that’s where I’m going.
So I pull off the 1, the exit sign says Pismo Beach. Yeah, I’ve heard of it. Sounds pretty cool to me. I find my way down to the beach in no time, park my bike, shake out my hair, stretch a bit before finally walking out onto the beach. I’ve never seen the ocean before...at least not like this.
I dunno what it is but I got this sudden urge to just kick off my boots, my socks and just dig my feet in, right here. I gotta tell you, that is one amazing feeling. I’m breathing all deep and sentimental and shit but before you know it I’m a fuckin’ 10-year-old. Running down to the water, barely gettin’ my toes wet before squealing...yeah squealing, and running back again. I dunno how long I did that for but if anyone was around they’d have thought I was insane.
Anyway, I’m tired as hell so I just sorta fall back onto the sand, take my jacket off and just look at the stars. Holy crap...stars, like lots of them, and with the sounds and smells of the ocean in the background. I smile, like really actually smile for the first time in a hell of a long time.
“Perfect fit.”
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Next chapter is here. Hope you enjoy.
Please read and review :)
“Still no word from Faith huh?” Willow’s voice penetrates the dull quiet of the library. Buffy’s sitting at the table using her arms as a pillow, she turns to regard her friend.
“Nope.” She says simply. “It’s kinda weird. I never actually thought she’d go, you know?” Willow nods but doesn’t reply. “I mean...she said she loves me and not that I’m all gung-ho for that, but why’d she have to go?”
“Are you kidding Buffy?” Willow says, plunking herself down across from the slayer. “Do you really think she was just gonna hang around knowing you could never love her back?” Buffy sits up and shrugs a little. “She was doin’ the whole noble thing Buff. Letting you get on with your life and stuff by leaving. It’s kinda like that time on Passions when Eric left Alex because she was in love with Steven but wasn’t really and...” Willow trails off.
“Leaving? More like running away.” Buffy says irritably.
“Come on, don’t think about it like that. It had to have been really hard on her.” At this Buffy’s eyes cloud over, nose crinkles with worry. “Not that she couldn’t handle herself, I mean it is Faith we’re talking about.” Buffy nods.
“Where do you think she is right now?” The blonde asks sadly.
“I dunno Buff...she could be anywhere.” At Buffy’s look though, Willow comes back immediately with, “I mean, not really anywhere, probably within’ a five-hundred mile radius of good ole Sunny-D, excepting if she hopped a plane, which she probably didn’t! And also not really five-hundred miles west either cause that would put her in the middle of the ocean and unless she hopped a boat or something, again possible but not plausible, she’s probably-”
“Ok Will’s really not helping the situation.” Buffy says, cutting off Willow’s ramble.
“Sorry Buff.” They sit in silence for a few moments before Willow jumps up with a small, “ooh!”
“Ooh? What ooh?” Buffy asks.
“Well, we could always do the Scooby thing.” Willow says excitedly. Buffy looks at her blankly.
“What Scooby thing?” She asks.
“You know, we could like investigate and track her down and stuff.” Buffy smiles sadly before shaking her head.
“I don’t think she wants to be found Wills. I’m at least gonna respect that.” Willow nods with understanding and goes around the table to give Buffy a hug from behind.
“It’s gonna be ok.”
“I know Wills but that doesn’t mean it’s not gonna be hard.” Willow gives her a little squeeze before releasing her.
“Oh good you two are here.” Buffy and Willow look up to see what Giles has in store for them. “Where’s Faith?” Buffy shuts her eyes, trying to block out the onslaught of emotions.
“She’s gone.” She says quietly.
“Gone? Where to?” Buffy simply shrugs. “Well do you know when she’ll be back? I’ve just been alerted to some rather demonic activity around the area.” Buffy takes in a deep breath before replying.
“She’s not coming back.” Giles furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
“Not coming...oh...oh I see.” As realization dawns on him, he takes off his glasses and cleans them nervously. “Well never-the-less, Buffy, you’ll need to head down to the docks and patrol as soon as you can.” Buffy nods, and slaps her hands down on the arms of the chair before getting up.
“I”m on it.” She heads for the doors but is stopped by Giles voice.
“Oh and Buffy, don’t do anything rash.” She turns to regard him, smirking in a Faith-like way.
“You mean with the demons or with Faith?”
“Um well preferably both.”
Buffy nods but is out the door without an answer.
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New chapter. Hope you like.
Read and review : )
‘When will I see you?’
‘You won’t’...
It’s drivin’ me crazy that even after six months that dream is still haunting me. I know what you’re thinking, if the dream’s haunting me shouldn’t I call it a nightmare? But I won’t...because if Buffy’s there it’s not a nightmare. And yeah I’m still hung up on her too. For some reason I pictured this being easy, well actually, I guess for the most part it was.
The morning after that first night I spent on the beach I cruised up and down the main drag, turned out a fancy pants restaurant was hiring, waitress position. I went in and they said if I toned down the eyeliner, got a pair of slacks and a blouse, they’d hire me.
I don’t care what anybody says...the whole suit look, minus the actually suit...totally hot, especially on me. I used that to my advantage too. I can still see the pissed off look on the other waitresses faces, watching me count my much larger wad of tips.
Course a week later I got some competition in the form of Alex. Personally I don’t think it’s fair that he gets to wear more eyeliner than me but whatever, he’s a good guy. So good in fact that now we’re roommates.
Yep, I spent those first couple weeks like I always do, in a run down hotel room, but then Alex showed up, said he was new in town and looking for a roommate.
Now normally I wouldn’t shack up with a guy unless I was gonna marry him or he was a total flamer. Take a guess as to which one it was. I’m still workin’ up the courage to tell the other waitresses...it’s a gay thing.
Anyway, we stayed at the hotel until we’d saved up enough money for a down payment on a place and I must say, it’s workin’ out pretty well in my favor. The guy cooks, cleans...hell, if he weren’t gay I’d go straight for him...maybe...if there weren’t a certain blonde in my past.
Point is I’m doin’ alright for myself. The only thing keepin’ me from being totally happy...the aforementioned blonde. I keep telling myself maybe things like this just take time. Then a little voice that sounds annoyingly...well blonde...pops in and says, “Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt Faith.”
Whatever, I was never good with the whole geography thing anyway. That’s why I’m not gonna get hung up on it and just go right back to sleep...or at least I would if there weren’t overly loud moans coming from the next room. I bang on the wall a couple of times.
“Keep it down you two!” I’m not really angry, I gotta admit the boys have stamina. It’s 3 in the mornin’ for god’s sake.
“Sorry Faithy!” I swear he is the only person I will let call me that. Anyone else would have their testicles ripped off by now. So yeah...3 in the morning. If I stare at the ceiling for just a little longer, I’ll be out.
‘Buffy, no!’
‘Willow, find Faith! She’ll be the only one who can stop him now.”
Ok, so remember how I said any dream with Buffy in it is definitely a dream? I was so, so wrong. Because a dream that has Buffy dying is definitely my worst nightmare. So now I’m sittin’ here with my legs all pulled up to my chest wonderin’ what to do. I got a cell cause the manager at work needed a way to reach me if somebody called in sick. I guess I could give her a call. But I don’t really wanna talk to her ya know? It’s like smoking then quittin’ cold turkey. I can’t go back, even if it’s just one cigarette, cause it’ll never be just one and then I’d have to quit all over again. Damn I’m lame when I get all metaphorical and shit.
I’m debating goin’ and waking Alex up but the boys need their beauty sleep after their long night. I’ve told him about Buffy, sometimes he rides me about going back and making her love me. He says he’s only joking but I know there’s some truth behind his words. Other than that, he’s just kinda been like my rock, my best friend I guess, the person I tell all my troubles to. Kinda like my own personal...and that’s when it hits me. I don’t have to call Buffy to know what’s goin’ on in good ole’ Sunnyhell. I check the clock; 5:47, still too early to call but the gym opens at six and I’m jonesin’ to get some of this nervous energy out.
I’m out the door 5 minutes later, granola bar in one hand and a note on the counter for Alex. Yup, I’m gay-whipped alright, we’re practically married and that makes me smile...just a little, cause it takes my mind off Buffy...just a little.
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Next chapter!!! YAY
Read and review : )“Hello?”
“Hey Red, how’s the weather down in Sunny-D?”
Yep, I took the plunge and called her best friend. I know, I know, it’s practically the same as just calling Buffy up herself cause I know Willow’s gonna tell her every word I say, but it’s hard enough trying to keep my resolve without hearin’ her voice on the other side.
“...Faith? Oh my god, it is you isn’t it? Where have you been? What have you been doing? Is everything ok? Buffy has been nothing short of mope-y since you left you know. Why did you have to leave like that?”
Ok so yeah, I expected the barrage of questions but it’s still tough hearin’ them. There’s no way I’m goin’ into that. I’m just calling to check up.
“Hang on there Red, I asked you a question first remember?”
“What?...Oh! Yeah um well it’s...sunny down here...down...oh, so that must mean you’re north! Exactly how far north exactly?”
I sigh and laugh a little to myself. She’s quick, I’ll give her that. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to let them know where I am, tell ‘em I’m doin’ alright for myself.
“Pismo Beach and yeah, everything’s cool. I’ve got an apartment, a waitressing job, a roommate-”
“Roommate?”
I can practically hear the wheels in her head turning.
“Yeah, Alex.”
Silence...for some reason this is hilarious to me.
“Oh...is...Alex...um are you two...”
“Well see there’s this little matter of him havin’ a boyfriend but...”
I hear the sigh of relief on her end, and it irks me a little ya know? What would it matter if I’d found a chick and shacked up with her? I’m movin’ on with my life. I gave Buffy her chance. She missed it...whatever.
“Well good for you Faith.”
Better just cut to the chase, I’m startin’ to lose my nerve.
“Yeah well I was just callin’ to check in, see what was happenin’ on the home front you know? Any unusually dangerous big bads wreaking havoc?”
“Um...no not really, just the usual...why do you ask?”
And the room just got a ton hotter. For some reason telling Red that I had a ‘scary dream’ isn’t sounding as thought out as I had planned.
“Uh, no reason. Just wonderin’. Anyway, it was good talkin’ to you Red. Catch ya later.”
“What, no Faith wait you should really call Buffy and-”
Shit. No, no, no, no.
“What’s that?”
When all else fails feign static.
“I’m kinda losin’ you Red. Gotta go.”
Click
“Hello?”
“Buffy, it’s Willow.”
“Oh hey Wills, what’s up?”
“It’s about Faith.”
Willow could hear Buffy’s breath catch in her throat.
“What...what about her?...Is she ok?”
She can’t be dead. Please don’t let her be dead.
“Yeah, she’s fine Buff. Great actually. She just called me.”
Buffy idly twisted the telephone cord.
“What did she say? I mean...did she want anything?”
Did she ask about me?
“She said she was just checking in. Asked if there were any unusually tough big bads to deal with. I told her nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Oh.”
Guess not.
“Well you said she’s doing good?”
“Oh yeah! She said she got an apartment and she’s a waitress and she has a new roommate.”
“Roommate?”
Damn you voice for squeaking unnaturally.
“Don’t worry Buff.”
Guess Willow noticed too.
“His name’s Alex and he has a boyfriend.”
His...boyfriend...what?...ooohhh.
“Oh well that’s...that’s good I guess. Did she mention where she was?”
Fingers crossed.
“Yeah! She’s living up in Pismo Beach.”
Oh thank god. And here I was thinking she’d hopped a plane to Italy or something. Pismo's not that far away, it’d only take half a day to get there. Let’s see it’s almost 9, I could be there by 4 probably if I left soon enough.
“Um Buffy? You still there? Hello?”
Oops, sorry Willow.
“Yeah Wills I’m here. Listen I gotta go but I’ll call you later ok?”
“Wait Buffy no. I know what you’re thinking and you can’t, you won’t! I’m forbidding you from going to see her!”
Crap.
“What was that Wills?”
When all else fails, feign static.
“Willow? Hello? I think I’m losing you. Hey, I’ll call you later!”
Click
Willow hung up angrily on the other side, and growled to no one in particular.
“Land lines do not have static!”
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