In this world there real and make believe..
(my and my mom in the car going to shingletown)
mom: im leaving the life i have known for 18 years, all my friends.
me: *nods* ( im thinking : im leaving the life i've ever known)
-----------------Did she think of me? and my lose?----------------------
I hear yelling and something breaks. Its very normal. Then it all turns into a dramatic soap opera, with backstabbing, tears, pain, stress, misunderstanding, and love. My mom can't eat because of everything. My brother is free soon, hes packing to leave. They keep asking me what i want...i tell them what i want but they keep asking. i dont know what i want. Its like standing on the outside looking in >_<. You don't tell your family how everything makes you feel, you can't cause anymore stress to your mother, the one making sure your taken care of, shes the one the needs the most comfort. Can't let her see that you were beaten by something you lived with all your life. The anger, hate, unpredicatable outbreaks, fear of what happens next, confusion, and most of all the stress. I have to stand and be the comfort she looks to >_< she has her family, but i stand up for her during fights and my dad cuts me down like he does her. If i defend my dad she turns on me. who do i go to. who can be trusted. Is perfection expected of me... i try to be the leaning post for my friends and family but sooner or later something will snap. im trying >_< im trying to be there for everyone. Who is there to talk to... no one. Some people are there for me.But..ofcourse no one will ultimatly understand what this is. They listen and pay attention but how much can they do? I don't like being emotional, and i have a problem expressing my love to those who i do love. So they dont know i love them. People have to tell me they love me first, and even then i can't bring myself to say i love them also. Whats the matter with me? I think i want only to depend on myself. I dont want to look to anyone else for help perhaps? you read this and think this is just original teenage drama. *shrugs* maybe your right but right now i don't give a fuck.
mom: im leaving the life i have known for 18 years, all my friends.
me: *nods* ( im thinking : im leaving the life i've ever known)
-----------------Did she think of me? and my lose?----------------------
I hear yelling and something breaks. Its very normal. Then it all turns into a dramatic soap opera, with backstabbing, tears, pain, stress, misunderstanding, and love. My mom can't eat because of everything. My brother is free soon, hes packing to leave. They keep asking me what i want...i tell them what i want but they keep asking. i dont know what i want. Its like standing on the outside looking in >_<. You don't tell your family how everything makes you feel, you can't cause anymore stress to your mother, the one making sure your taken care of, shes the one the needs the most comfort. Can't let her see that you were beaten by something you lived with all your life. The anger, hate, unpredicatable outbreaks, fear of what happens next, confusion, and most of all the stress. I have to stand and be the comfort she looks to >_< she has her family, but i stand up for her during fights and my dad cuts me down like he does her. If i defend my dad she turns on me. who do i go to. who can be trusted. Is perfection expected of me... i try to be the leaning post for my friends and family but sooner or later something will snap. im trying >_< im trying to be there for everyone. Who is there to talk to... no one. Some people are there for me.But..ofcourse no one will ultimatly understand what this is. They listen and pay attention but how much can they do? I don't like being emotional, and i have a problem expressing my love to those who i do love. So they dont know i love them. People have to tell me they love me first, and even then i can't bring myself to say i love them also. Whats the matter with me? I think i want only to depend on myself. I dont want to look to anyone else for help perhaps? you read this and think this is just original teenage drama. *shrugs* maybe your right but right now i don't give a fuck.