{garden variety manic}
so finally when I get back in mode, my pc gets whacked!
I got a f'n virus. Corrupted part of my networking on windows. Thank the PC GOD for not totally destroying; deleting everything *knocks on wood* Around last thursday my pc kept turning off and going blank. Than finally it went all blue, I screamed. I mean A blood wrenching scream. NO NO NO ANYTHING BUT THE BLUESCREEN OF DEATH... at least I was kinda smart{orlucky} and turned it off and didn't do a motha f'n thing until mr. tony came home. He was able to copy all my shit {fotos;art;writing;songs;fotos;art;writing;songs;} and than re-install windows. I had the cutest fucking icons too{lolia} grrrrrrrrr
He's not going to be able to put everything back onto my pc until sometime this weekend. {i told him to call in sick at work until my baby, was my baby again} Right now I only have basic xp, and the internet. no photoshop, no songs, no files to go into and wander in for hours. I swear I almost had a heartattack and died, from just a little glitch. what has become of me? {and damn that virus I want to squish it like I want to squish the pillsberry doughboy} I'm manic about my computer. that isn't very cute is it?
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daughter's birthday was this weekend. We had a hotpink heaven in my diningroom. I bought pink lightbulbs, stringed up xmas lights everywhere and we had 72 magenta balloons, and paper laterns over the pink bulbs. she had her own private nightclub. she also has a boyfriend named devyn. he came to the party and gave her a tiny heart locket with diamond flecks. I wonder if he took it from his mom to give it to her. It looks very elegant and not tacky. He calls her everyday. And wrote her a letter I found in her jeans that said "you're the reason I can't sleep at night". I can't decide If I'm a bad mother for letting this go on, {a girl's first puppy love} Or if i'm just heartbroken from my own vainty because now I feel fucking old. I combed her hair last while we listend to yo-yo ma cds. her feet are bigger than mine. her legs are the same length as mine. I can't pick her up, nor does she want me to. We sat quietly as she fumbled through a book with her knees up{in another world} I kept whispering, but I'm still a little girl. the evidence is all around me "No you're NOT!"
So I've been in my black slip ALL DAY, trying to be elegant. lanking around. and than I found myself writing loveletters in pink ink. { maybe I'm not a littlegirl, but there's one still running around inside, she doesn't want to go away. And I can't decide if I even want her to.}
I'll tell you part two of this story some other time.
<< p.s. she finally has real pointe shoes. her first pair. with extrodinary satin, and long ribbons. she danced for me and got real blisters. she bleeds her feet, but does with a smile. I find myself both happy and envious. I hope she listens.
never stop. >>
I got a f'n virus. Corrupted part of my networking on windows. Thank the PC GOD for not totally destroying; deleting everything *knocks on wood* Around last thursday my pc kept turning off and going blank. Than finally it went all blue, I screamed. I mean A blood wrenching scream. NO NO NO ANYTHING BUT THE BLUESCREEN OF DEATH... at least I was kinda smart{orlucky} and turned it off and didn't do a motha f'n thing until mr. tony came home. He was able to copy all my shit {fotos;art;writing;songs;fotos;art;writing;songs;} and than re-install windows. I had the cutest fucking icons too{lolia} grrrrrrrrr
He's not going to be able to put everything back onto my pc until sometime this weekend. {i told him to call in sick at work until my baby, was my baby again} Right now I only have basic xp, and the internet. no photoshop, no songs, no files to go into and wander in for hours. I swear I almost had a heartattack and died, from just a little glitch. what has become of me? {and damn that virus I want to squish it like I want to squish the pillsberry doughboy} I'm manic about my computer. that isn't very cute is it?
=========================================================
daughter's birthday was this weekend. We had a hotpink heaven in my diningroom. I bought pink lightbulbs, stringed up xmas lights everywhere and we had 72 magenta balloons, and paper laterns over the pink bulbs. she had her own private nightclub. she also has a boyfriend named devyn. he came to the party and gave her a tiny heart locket with diamond flecks. I wonder if he took it from his mom to give it to her. It looks very elegant and not tacky. He calls her everyday. And wrote her a letter I found in her jeans that said "you're the reason I can't sleep at night". I can't decide If I'm a bad mother for letting this go on, {a girl's first puppy love} Or if i'm just heartbroken from my own vainty because now I feel fucking old. I combed her hair last while we listend to yo-yo ma cds. her feet are bigger than mine. her legs are the same length as mine. I can't pick her up, nor does she want me to. We sat quietly as she fumbled through a book with her knees up{in another world} I kept whispering, but I'm still a little girl. the evidence is all around me "No you're NOT!"
So I've been in my black slip ALL DAY, trying to be elegant. lanking around. and than I found myself writing loveletters in pink ink. { maybe I'm not a littlegirl, but there's one still running around inside, she doesn't want to go away. And I can't decide if I even want her to.}
I'll tell you part two of this story some other time.
<< p.s. she finally has real pointe shoes. her first pair. with extrodinary satin, and long ribbons. she danced for me and got real blisters. she bleeds her feet, but does with a smile. I find myself both happy and envious. I hope she listens.
never stop. >>