"Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as the wrong relationships"
I wish some of my friends knew this. Not just in their minds, but in their hearts. There are a number of things in this blog that speak to me, personally, but upon reading the statement, "Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as the wrong relationships" I immediately thought of some of my friends who stay in romantic relationships that are just toxic.
I don't understand. Some would say that I'm just naturally a "single kinda gal" who enjoys being single much more than being in a relationship so it's "easier" for me. And I suppose to a certain extent that's true. I'm definitely more comfortable being single than being or trying to be in a relationship. Not to mention that my (admittedly limited) experience shows that I enjoy and am happier when I'm single, but it has nothing to do with me wanting or even needing to be single to be happy; being single, dating, trying to be in a relationship, or whatever other complicated situations there are has nothing to do with it at all. What it all boils down to is simple: I choose my happiness above all. It just so happens that my happiness resulted in me breaking it off with guys I genuinely cared about. It doesn't mean I prefer things to be that way. It just means that (1) I haven't found the right guy yet, and (2) I know how to be happy on my own.
I just wish some of my friends can embrace this. I've been there before. Staying in a toxic relationship and not wanting to let go despite knowing how bad it is for you emotionally. And I've gotten out of it. What I realized is that I was so much unhappier and lonelier being with someone who wasn't right for me than when I finally walked away. Yes, it hurt, and yes, I cried, but I immediately felt unburdened afterwards. Like India Arie said in my all-time favorite song, "Private Party":
"Sometimes I'm alone but never lonely
That's what I've come to realize
I've learned to love the quiet moments
The Sunday mornings of life"
I don't understand. Some would say that I'm just naturally a "single kinda gal" who enjoys being single much more than being in a relationship so it's "easier" for me. And I suppose to a certain extent that's true. I'm definitely more comfortable being single than being or trying to be in a relationship. Not to mention that my (admittedly limited) experience shows that I enjoy and am happier when I'm single, but it has nothing to do with me wanting or even needing to be single to be happy; being single, dating, trying to be in a relationship, or whatever other complicated situations there are has nothing to do with it at all. What it all boils down to is simple: I choose my happiness above all. It just so happens that my happiness resulted in me breaking it off with guys I genuinely cared about. It doesn't mean I prefer things to be that way. It just means that (1) I haven't found the right guy yet, and (2) I know how to be happy on my own.
I just wish some of my friends can embrace this. I've been there before. Staying in a toxic relationship and not wanting to let go despite knowing how bad it is for you emotionally. And I've gotten out of it. What I realized is that I was so much unhappier and lonelier being with someone who wasn't right for me than when I finally walked away. Yes, it hurt, and yes, I cried, but I immediately felt unburdened afterwards. Like India Arie said in my all-time favorite song, "Private Party":
"Sometimes I'm alone but never lonely
That's what I've come to realize
I've learned to love the quiet moments
The Sunday mornings of life"
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