Dec 05, 2005 17:50
So this weekend I was asked to give a film class about 5 hours away from the university. There's nothing like teaching film in a semi-city (maybe oversized village) where your pretty sure most people have never seen a movie in the theater. Ya, thats when you feel pretty pointless. I mean it wasn't like this was my idea. They asked me too. But still its like I was just wasting their times because 1.) the info was completly useless to their lives 2.) I'm not a very good teacher.
To add to this I thought it would be a good idea to show Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind becasue it is so complex. I thought maybe by walking through it they could understand (and it had bahasa subtitles). I think I offened the class with that movie. In the middle one person said "In Indonesia we don't live like this." I was like yes you do not. Really I hadn't even considered there to be much in that movie to be offended about. So theres a little swearing (but does that matter if you don't speak too much english to know what they mean anyway?) and maybe a little drug use (but I showed Garden state in my class here and they seemed to like it and not realy care), but certainly no nudity or sex. So yes I was safe there. I guess it must be said that my students here (away from the university) were adult students prob at least over 40. The new generation must be more liberal it seems. Eh, its over now and theres nothing I can do.
I suppose you can always go with the idea that every bit of knowledge is important, but in Indo I find this hard to buy. But I suppose I can tell myself this anyway.
Whenever I venture away from my home (when I do not go on my own accord - when they ask me to go somewhere for school) and at the mercy of others it always seems like such a huge dicotamy between making other people happy and myself happy. And I keep telling myself just to smile and become a different person. Be the bule they want you to and bare with the few photos and showing off to relatives. Eat the massive amounts of weird food they put in front of you and take the showers when they tell you to. It takes so little to make other people happy with only your presence. But its so hard!!!! I don't know why I'm having problems. I can't keep my opinions to myself all the time. I say something and then I'm like stupid Megan why did you say that. Little things. Maybe I'm fighting for my freedom. I don't know if I can describe this inner battle I'm having. Just wanted to share with someone (aka livejournal everyone)