love letter
"There's no need to complicate--our time is short." -I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
I don't think this is what you wanted, I guess I still owe you a "love letter"
But this is what I have to say.
I've been in lust a couple times; I've been infatuated a couple times--but only one turned into love. You already know how it turned out. The only thing left in that story is the end (for me). I hope it comes soon.
You've been a different feeling entirely. I had no special interest in you. I invited you to Halloween Horror Nights because you were nice and we needed a third person. I NEVER thought it would come to what it is now.
What is it now? I can't even define it to myself. Yesterday I told you I think I'm slowly falling in love with you. But it's different than anything I've ever felt. My heart doesn't beat faster when I see you. I don't get butterflies when we touch accidentally. I don't crave your attention or laughter. That's how it's been with others (him).
With you, it's all warm fuzzies. You make me feel like I'm some sort of treasure. I'm smiling as I write this sentence thinking about your (literal and figurative) WARMTH. Your atmosphere is addictive, and I'm hooked. Only other thing that makes me feel comparably is Christmas, and isn't it funny that the closer we get, the closer I get to you?
You're the feeling I get when I hear an old song, see a kid smile, do a random act of kindness. You're memories and sentimental knick-knacks and childhood novels. You're in the sky every time I see a sunset.
I don't know exactly what you see in me that's so special, but those are all the special things I see you in.
***
I'm broken. You know I am, you've written the words yourself. I don't know how long it will be until I have all of me back to give, which is why I didn't want to promise you anything. I just can't.
But, you do have a piece of my heart right now. And that's more than I can say of anyone else but him (he still has the rest).
But you've come this far, we've gone from nothing to a whole lot, and the way I see it, we can only grow from here.
You've taught me that it's possible to want something different. You've taught me that life isn't empty after love leaves. There's still music and words and well, music. I knew I could be attracted to others, but you taught me that I could feel that complete uninhibited bliss again, that happiness that comes from being alone and holding hands and whispering with someone you really, really care about.
Thank you for that.
-Ava Lane