F is for Fucker of a Dad.

Jun 22, 2005 17:47

Heh. Oh my dad... What a swell guy. Well step-dad. But it don't matter because I never knew my real dad so ya... That made no sense ( Read more... )

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Comments 11

satanicmartyr June 22 2005, 22:32:18 UTC
I'm truly sorry.

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appear_my_dear June 22 2005, 23:35:07 UTC
does your mother know? you really should get some type of help, im truly worried :(

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mutedtorment June 23 2005, 00:08:16 UTC
Yes... I told her a long time ago, and she went to go and ask him about it. If it were true or not... She didn't believe me. Not one fucking word. Me, her daughter.
So, because she asked him about it, it came back onto me full force. He had lied through his fucking teeth. And still believed him over me… Said I was the liar and how it was some type of attention thing. But because of it, it just caused me more pain. Because I had told... I still feel incredibly stupid for thinking I could go to her…
And it's not like it matters if she knew or not. She's just as bad...
Like my step-dad does the physical and emotional abuse. While my mom does the emotional and neglectful abuse... Only type of abuse that I don't have happening to me is sexual abuse... Although I really don't remember any of my past (blacked it out) for whatever reason... So who knows, it's quite possible.
Sometimes, the things he does… I can’t help but wonder… Ya know?
Heh sorry for the long post.

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appear_my_dear June 23 2005, 00:12:48 UTC
a black out is a good sign you had some very traumatic happen, please, im very worried for you, you need some sort of help!

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mutedtorment June 23 2005, 00:17:21 UTC
Yes I know... Last 'shrink' type thing I had. He asked about my past, and I told him that I honestly can't remember anything about it. Or most of any memories... None just want to stick. Even now, I have trouble with them...
Heh, it's easier said then done. I'm too much of a coward to do anything about it. I'm afraid. Afraid that things will happen like they did with my mom... Afraid of to many things to put down... I'm just a fucking coward.
I want to get help. I know I need help... But it's like I look down the road to and it stretches on for miles and miles... To the point where I break down, I just don't know what to do.
I'm a hopeless cause. Really I am..

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jess_sucks June 23 2005, 01:44:46 UTC
I read something in your other comments about you wanting to get help but it seems like the shrinks aren't being your greatest friends... I don't know if this will help at all, but you could check out any local community centers and check out their group therapy sessions. Usually if you find one that deals with teenage girls or something like that you'll get somebody in the group with the same problems as you and you can try and "work them out" together. I really don't know if that will help, but I'm really worried about you too and I just want you to get some help!

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mutedtorment June 23 2005, 01:50:04 UTC
We're a small town, so I don't know if there even are things like that around here... And if they're were it would be in a few towns over. With me no way of getting to them... Not really.

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jess_sucks June 23 2005, 02:13:38 UTC
Shit... well maybe someone else can be of more use than me, I don't really have any experience with getting help. Good luck?

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mutedtorment June 23 2005, 02:21:28 UTC
Hey just having someone to talk to about 'my situation' right now is help enough for me...

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