(no subject)
First things first-
CMU kids. I miss you like Bambi missed his mom. Serious life just isn't the same without you. Call me or come see me before I die of craziness without you.
T-town hotties- haha ya I just said that. anyways mmm i'm home yet (looks around) still haven't seen most of you and if I have it wasn't enough. We need to work on this.
I had my first day of work at Toys R Us yesterday. Not bad, though as soon as my pee in the cup comes up non druggie I'm going to have to quit it for Target. (p.s. that's right- I successfully peed in a cup!!! I'm getting so grown up) I would keep both but it's just not going to work. Good and bad. Hopefully I'll make enough money so I don't have to sell a kidney to continue in the fall but who knows.
Trying to write. I didn't realize that writing a children's book would be so difficult. I also never realized I actually had above kids book intelligence which is why this is actually hard! Damn you brain cells!!!
Philosophical portion of the entry- I've been having trouble sleeping and I've been having tons of crazy dreams. This means something just ain't right. Is this just me trying to adjust back to home life or are somethings in my life just not settling? There are a few things I should probably do that could make me breathe a bit better, but I don't want to. Sometimes I'm tired of being the one to bring up things and try to fix things. Am I the only one who cares or did I just overact too bad last time that he's scared to talk to me? I'm over it but things aren't back to normal. I thought I was ok with things not being normal but then I think about it late at night and I feel funky.
This year- wow. It always surprises me how quickly things change even though I know they do. I'm in a completely different place this year than last. It can be both good and bad, but I have to accept it either way. I'm off my crazy pills but I'm not sure if I'm ready. Being home always brings out the crazy in me. But I have to deal. Just hold my hand and I will.
I feel so old. 20 feels so old. I need to start accomplishing things. I'm working with my writing, I did pretty good at school, but there is one thing I have yet to achieve and it's time. The only thing is I really don't know how. I say I do, I give others advise, I try to find reasons why I keep on stepping wrong with this, but I'm not even sure I'm right with what's wrong. I've realized one issue is this thing, that I want most is also what scares me the most. I need to face the monster to win the prize. (hold me!)
That's that. Kisses love spooning twirling and jumping jacks all around.
CMU kids. I miss you like Bambi missed his mom. Serious life just isn't the same without you. Call me or come see me before I die of craziness without you.
T-town hotties- haha ya I just said that. anyways mmm i'm home yet (looks around) still haven't seen most of you and if I have it wasn't enough. We need to work on this.
I had my first day of work at Toys R Us yesterday. Not bad, though as soon as my pee in the cup comes up non druggie I'm going to have to quit it for Target. (p.s. that's right- I successfully peed in a cup!!! I'm getting so grown up) I would keep both but it's just not going to work. Good and bad. Hopefully I'll make enough money so I don't have to sell a kidney to continue in the fall but who knows.
Trying to write. I didn't realize that writing a children's book would be so difficult. I also never realized I actually had above kids book intelligence which is why this is actually hard! Damn you brain cells!!!
Philosophical portion of the entry- I've been having trouble sleeping and I've been having tons of crazy dreams. This means something just ain't right. Is this just me trying to adjust back to home life or are somethings in my life just not settling? There are a few things I should probably do that could make me breathe a bit better, but I don't want to. Sometimes I'm tired of being the one to bring up things and try to fix things. Am I the only one who cares or did I just overact too bad last time that he's scared to talk to me? I'm over it but things aren't back to normal. I thought I was ok with things not being normal but then I think about it late at night and I feel funky.
This year- wow. It always surprises me how quickly things change even though I know they do. I'm in a completely different place this year than last. It can be both good and bad, but I have to accept it either way. I'm off my crazy pills but I'm not sure if I'm ready. Being home always brings out the crazy in me. But I have to deal. Just hold my hand and I will.
I feel so old. 20 feels so old. I need to start accomplishing things. I'm working with my writing, I did pretty good at school, but there is one thing I have yet to achieve and it's time. The only thing is I really don't know how. I say I do, I give others advise, I try to find reasons why I keep on stepping wrong with this, but I'm not even sure I'm right with what's wrong. I've realized one issue is this thing, that I want most is also what scares me the most. I need to face the monster to win the prize. (hold me!)
That's that. Kisses love spooning twirling and jumping jacks all around.