... suddenly, all the laces come undone ...
So I just wrote this 1000 word long, confusing, convoluted blog about:
all the things I’ve been struggling through recently;
my unmet expectations for the year & my desire to start fresh in 2007;
the reason I think a depression that has caused social-withdrawal has descended upon me this past week;
and how I can’t seem to become content with my life because though the variables are all fantastic one-by-one, the whole doesn’t seem to be a sum of its parts.
And I’ve been thinking a lot today about the people that I’ve hurt along the way in the year 2006; especially the sorority sisters that I neglected during spring semester. I lost a lot of good friends this year and I want to take this chance to publicly apologize; I’m a fool who lets my ego get in the way of rational decision-making. If you were one of those people: I’m so sorry.
I wrote this all out while listening to the end of Harry Connick Jr.’s new Christmas album, and just as I was about to post, the CD ended & my iTunes switched over to random mp3 mode. And one particular song came on.
This song, which has been practically plaguing and stalking me through the up’s and down’s of 2006, sums up what I wanted to say and what I was trying to say much better than I ever could.
And I realized that I didn’t want to post that complainy thing. No one REALLY wants to read my miserable gibberish about my insecurities in such a confusing format.
So here’s the sum up of everything: Life can get pretty shitty. It’s easy to sweat the small stuff and even to get caught up in some nasty situations. But God’s always there, always watching, always guiding, always saving, always loving. And whatever I’m going through now is just a fraction of the loneliness and fear that I’d be experiencing without His Patient Hand working in my life. My prayer this day is that this fantastic Father, who makes all things new, can remove all the crap that I fill my spirit with, all my doubts and fears and insecurities, and fill it with his love.
all the things I’ve been struggling through recently;
my unmet expectations for the year & my desire to start fresh in 2007;
the reason I think a depression that has caused social-withdrawal has descended upon me this past week;
and how I can’t seem to become content with my life because though the variables are all fantastic one-by-one, the whole doesn’t seem to be a sum of its parts.
And I’ve been thinking a lot today about the people that I’ve hurt along the way in the year 2006; especially the sorority sisters that I neglected during spring semester. I lost a lot of good friends this year and I want to take this chance to publicly apologize; I’m a fool who lets my ego get in the way of rational decision-making. If you were one of those people: I’m so sorry.
I wrote this all out while listening to the end of Harry Connick Jr.’s new Christmas album, and just as I was about to post, the CD ended & my iTunes switched over to random mp3 mode. And one particular song came on.
This song, which has been practically plaguing and stalking me through the up’s and down’s of 2006, sums up what I wanted to say and what I was trying to say much better than I ever could.
And I realized that I didn’t want to post that complainy thing. No one REALLY wants to read my miserable gibberish about my insecurities in such a confusing format.
So here’s the sum up of everything: Life can get pretty shitty. It’s easy to sweat the small stuff and even to get caught up in some nasty situations. But God’s always there, always watching, always guiding, always saving, always loving. And whatever I’m going through now is just a fraction of the loneliness and fear that I’d be experiencing without His Patient Hand working in my life. My prayer this day is that this fantastic Father, who makes all things new, can remove all the crap that I fill my spirit with, all my doubts and fears and insecurities, and fill it with his love.