(no subject)
It if so ungodly hot here. The last few times I've been in ny its been freezing. Now its like living in hell. I had a hard time sleeping last night. I was like shaking and stuff and felt like I was going to toss my cookies. In other words it was like all the other times I've had some odd mixture of getting sick and being overcome with anxiety. Like at Sara's house that time and I had to go home so that I wouldn't embarrass myself my throwing up all over the place. And like that time in Costa Rica with the thunderstorm and I had to pee like a mad man but I couldn't because we weren't allowed outside with the lightning and Leanna was dead asleep and when I tried to move her she just moved herself back into place so I had to find somebody else to share a bed with. Then right before I got sick over spring break. I have been told I have to see a psychiatrist or something. At this point I think I'm starting to agree. I can't live like this. Its been a year of anxiety and a panic attack here and there. Before when I was stressed out my stomach hurt. Now I have a full fledged panic attack. My heart was beating so fast last night I thought I would explode or something. I try to get over it. Its not like I want to be crazy like this. I took homeopathic stuff to calm myself down on the subway today. I just don't want to have to go on meds or anything. The homeopathic stuff works just fine. I hope I can sleep tonight without having another freak attack.