The Ubiquitous Woof
Woof!
The mating call of Ursus Sapiens. Loved by some, reviled by others, the "Woof!" call has been around almost as long as bear subculture. Personally, I like the "Woof!" call, though I am pretty selective about how I use it. But I know plenty of bears and cubs and others who detest it. And their reasons for detesting it is about as many as the people who feel that way.
Some guys think a "Woof!" is cold and impersonal. And sometimes, I guess, it can be. But I've never known someone to say "Woof!" who meant it coldly. Most guys I know say it because they don't know what else to say, and it's a way of approaching someone you think is sexy, but don't know how else to break that ice. A lot of bears are shy guys; "Woof!" is just a way to slide past the shy part of us and get to the good stuff.
Some guys think "Woof!" is objectifying. Well, duh. It's a blatant call of attraction. It's meant to convey to the other bear just how sexy we find him. I doubt, however, a "Woof!" can ever be taken to mean, "Gee, guy, you are a sexy hunk of meat that I want to fuck, but really you are only a pretty boy and in no way do I see you as relationship material."
I mean, maybe someone could mean it that way... but I doubt it.
Most guys find a simple "Woof!" without any kind of follow-up, kind of rude. I don't. I think it's flattering. But knowing that not all guys find it flattering usually leads me to never just toss it off without some kind of further greeting. Just for politeness' sake. Besides what's the point of woofing a guy if you aren't wanting more contact?
There is always the "Woof!" alternative: "Grrr!" Which brings me to a story:
Recently, a friend of mine articulated to me his reasons for hating "Woof!"
"Bears don't say "Woof!'" he told me, "dogs say 'Woof!' Bears say 'Grrrr!'"
Ironically, the exact opposite is true. How often do dogs' barks sound like "Woof"? Rarely. But one of the most common sound an American bear (ursus americanus) makes is a sound that actually comes pretty close to "Woof!" and is the sound made when the bear is unsure of what it's looking at or is trying to send its cubs to safety. (Daddy Bears may make the noise to send their Cubs fleeing as well, but I'm not sure about that one).
"Woof!" has become so ubiquitous in bear culture, that there's even an app for it. No kidding. The "Woof!" app will send out a recorded "Woof!" in nine varieties, including the sexy "Woof!", the equivocal "Woof!", the bored "Woof!" and the assertive "Woof!" It also shows you Bear Run info and has a Bearowser to look up bear shit. It's a silly, silly app, but a lot of fun as well.
"Woof!" may be passe, may be misused and misunderstood, but it will be with us for as long as we have a subculture. Might as well make friends.
One last Woof! story:
Once, I was walking in the woods... okay, okay... cruising in the woods and was just about to give up in frustration when the most gorgeous leather-clad biker daddy turned onto my path. He was about my height, a nice gut, hairy as fuck (you know, the tufts curling up over his t--shirt collar?), touches of silver in his beard and hair. He looked at me and I at him, but it wasn't abundantly clear if his intentions were the same as mine, so, not willing to let him pass without knowing, I tossed out a "Woof!"
Looking back, I saw that he had stopped and was facing me.
"Why did you say that?" he said. He didn't sound angry, but he didn't sound pleased either.
I stammered a bit, "Uh.. well... cause I think you're very handsome."
His eyebrow went up a bit and he frowned a second.
"Then why did you call me a wimp?" he said.
"No! No!" I practically yelled, "Not 'wimp'... 'woof!' It means you're handsome."
"Oh," he said. And then we went in the bushes and I gave him the blowjob of his life. (Seriously you should have heard this guy growl while cumming... I still get hard remembering it. He was so into it, he drooled on his shirt. And then said, "Damn, this is my wife's favorite shirt" and I almost came in my pants.)
All from one little "Woof!"
The moral of the story? If you're gonna "woof" a guy, mean it, and articulate, articulate, articulate.