TBS 2.12.1.G. Foolish
Written in a paper journal for Emma's eyes only. If a certain SOMEONE decided to snoop, he would be the only one that could read this.
It's been a week. A single week. I should be scavenging the beach for what might wash ashore. I should be brainstorming with Boone about... okay, that would lead to brainstorming about him and Jack and while that needs to be done, that's more of the acceptance. It's what it is. Acceptance.
I got on that boat with the pure intent of deception. I wanted to come here, see if we hit it off like we did online and, if so, find a way to convince him to return with me. I don't want to admit it, but it's true. I can be honest here, with myself. The boat blowing up changed all that, changed the plan but not the intent.
It's been a week and most days I don't think about going back. Maybe it's because nothing bad has happened to me yet. Instead of thinking about going home, I just think about here. Another day, what I'm doing, what I want to do.
I can admit, here, in privacy, the truth. I did what I said I wouldn't. I've been foolish but I won't make a fool of myself. The least I can do it stay my tongue, watch my actions and never let things go past this moments, these thoughts here. I've been so very foolish and now it's time to ensure my pride stays intact.
It's been a week. A single week. I should be scavenging the beach for what might wash ashore. I should be brainstorming with Boone about... okay, that would lead to brainstorming about him and Jack and while that needs to be done, that's more of the acceptance. It's what it is. Acceptance.
I got on that boat with the pure intent of deception. I wanted to come here, see if we hit it off like we did online and, if so, find a way to convince him to return with me. I don't want to admit it, but it's true. I can be honest here, with myself. The boat blowing up changed all that, changed the plan but not the intent.
It's been a week and most days I don't think about going back. Maybe it's because nothing bad has happened to me yet. Instead of thinking about going home, I just think about here. Another day, what I'm doing, what I want to do.
I can admit, here, in privacy, the truth. I did what I said I wouldn't. I've been foolish but I won't make a fool of myself. The least I can do it stay my tongue, watch my actions and never let things go past this moments, these thoughts here. I've been so very foolish and now it's time to ensure my pride stays intact.