Fic: These thoughts I must not think of - one ficlet & two drabbles
Title: These thoughts I must not think of . . . I need you to tell me it's okay.
Author: mustbethursday3
Rating: G
Word count: 1400+
Characters/Pairings: Guinevere/Merlin
Spoilers: None. It's AU.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Wow, it feels good to get that out there.
Prompt: Written for merlin_multis
Summary: IDK guys . . . I'm an A/G shipper who went -HEY, I kinda like G/Mer so obviously I should be able to write it . . . [cue HORRIBLE CASE OF WRITER'S BLOCK]. So, I can't really make any sense of it myself. Um, I think I wrote from a AU where Merlin's the Prince and Gwen's the Ward . . . but IDK, imagine what you will I guess.
Author's note: Re above: I struggled and that's all the excuse I have for posting this. And I'm sorry, I know that anyone could have easily written something better.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
As she had on many an occasion since it had happened, Gwen traced the scarred skin along Merlin’s jaw. Feeling the familiar little quiver he made in response, but ignoring it.
The wound was a remnant of a battle past, yet another close call, from yet another opponent.
She’d been the one to find him crouched on the flagstones.
The first to see the newly charred and reddened flesh of his cheek.
Only Gwen had heard the weight in his forced laugh when he’d turned his head towards her, stared into her eyes and dared her to speak. To cry, or apologise, or get angry - however what he’d really wanted was for her to be horrified.
And she had been, but at herself.
Somehow - foolishly - she’d always taken it for granted that he’d be there, but looking at him in that second, she’d been forced to accept that one day he wouldn’t be.
With a shiver, Gwen closed her eyes, still able to feel her alarm at the sight, knowing that any closer and he would have lost an eye.
That she could have lost him, so easily.
And at that moment there hadn’t been any words, just her hands finding his and pulling him to his feet. He’d ignored her shaking, and she’d ignored his.
* * *
“You should see the other guy.”
Heartfelt brown eyes locked onto Merlin’s blue, the fingers around his tightening.
She saw the effort it took him to force more words. “I must say, you don’t look pleased to see me.”
“We saw the flames from the castle - I expected to find a corpse.”
“So I…disappointed you,” Merlin coughed hoarsely, struggling to keep pace with her as they made their way inside.
“Really, the only reason I came out here was,” she felt the tightness in her chest ease at his proximity, “...because Gaius was worried.”
There was a breath as his chin brushed the side of her head.
“Won’t happen again.”
“Liar,” she said softly.
* * *
The wound hadn’t healed correctly, leaving a distinctive mark…because as a patient Merlin was insufferable. Declining the salve offered to him, his eyes darkening to a stormy blue at the merest trace of pity.
And he’d irritably refused to sit still, unless Gwen was obstinately sitting with him, her hand pressed over his, denying him his freedom with her gentle glances and soft warnings. It hadn’t helped that everyone was afraid of him, servants eager to scatter at a hint of a glare or raised voice from the young sorcerer. And now that his power had grown there was never a shortage of rumours about him, mostly untrue and fanciful, that fuelled people’s apprehension.
* * *
“What’s this one do?”
“Why don’t you speak it and find out?” Merlin responded. He placed a hand on her shoulder.
Gwen gave a frustrated smile. “Because you know I can’t-”
“Can’t? I wouldn’t have thought you’d understand the meaning of that word,” Merlin scoffed. “I never thought I’d hear you of all people admit defeat…You know, I should mark this day - it might be the end of the-”
Gwen turned, clamping a hand over his mouth. “Merlin. Shut up.”
Merlin muttered something under her hand, his eyes flashed gold, and Gwen suddenly found her feet hovering above the ground. Ignoring the unsettling lurch in her stomach Gwen took a hold of his collar in both hands.
“Put me down.”
“You did ask,” Merlin pointed out, his hands reached up to grasp her hips, before he whispered an end to the spell.
Gwen fell into his arms, the fingers still touching his collar flexing, as she swallowed.
“Thank you.”
* * *
He had told her in no uncertain terms that he wouldn’t be searching his books for a spell, and had refused to even consider the idea of allowing another to perform magic to heal his face. His excuse being that he wasn’t sure that a burn caused by enchanted fire could be healed with magic.
She didn’t believe it for a second.
“You enjoy putting people off.”
He grinned, copying her actions and stroking her jaw, lightly with two fingers, drawing a small lilt to her lips. “You lost me.”
“It’s why you won’t get this healed,” she explained. “You like to fuel this little reputation you’ve spun for yourself amongst the townsfolk.”
“Reputation? ” Merlin raised an eyebrow over amused blue eyes. “Why Guinev-”
“You know what I’m talking about,” Gwen maintained firmly. “You’ve created an atmosphere of uncertainty on purpose, you don’t want people to know that you have as much idea about what you’re going to do next as they do - less even.”
“You’re not afraid of me,” Merlin argued, tucking a long curl into the messy bun at the back of her head.
“Because I know better then to believe everything you tell me.” Gwen stared at his ruined skin, “Or everything I hear.”
* * *
“What’s wrong?”
Gwen looked up from the blade of grass she was spinning between her fingers. “Who says something’s wrong?”
“I do.” Merlin sat next to her. “And it’s unsettling me, so spill.”
Gwen sighed. “Must I be happy all the time, or just in your presence?”
Hands clasped in his lap, Merlin leant over, and rubbed his cheek on her shoulder, cat-like, until she laughed.
“You’re insane.”
“But you have to admit, it gets results.”
Gwen looked down as Merlin took one of her hands in his. “Do you ever wish you could go back?”
“Never.”
* * *
Merlin reached down to wind one of Gwen’s corset ties around a finger, gently pulling on it. “Would you prefer me unblemished? Because if this is about finding me hideous because of some disfiguring-”
Gwen’s lips touched his cheek, cutting him off, grazing feather light over the marked flesh, and causing Merlin’s hand to tighten on its position on her hip.
“I like you as you are,” Gwen said whispered, before she begun counting on her fingers. “Including but not limited to: your emotional instability, unwillingness to admit defeat, the way you can care less of what other people think, your natural untidiness and stubborn attitude-”
Merlin kissed her. His lips gently pressing on hers, “That’s enough,” he breathed and kissed her again for good measure.
Gwen leant back and grinned, “But I’m not half finished.”
“Oh, you’re finished alright.”
* * *
Merlin settled into the chair next to the cot.
“Well, what do you have to say for yourself?”
“There’s no need to fuss.” Gwen held up a bandaged arm, “Twenty stitches - you still hold the record.”
“Gwen, I’m serious.”
“Well, if you’re serious.”
Merlin’s eyes took in all her bruises and cuts. “I think, you owe me an apology.”
Gwen looked at him wearily. “I’m sorry … I put a rather nasty hole in your window when I flew out of it.”
“I told you to run,” Merlin said sternly.
“I wasn’t going to leave you to face them alone,” Gwen replied quietly. “I’ll help clean up the mess tomorrow - your workroom must be in a state.”
“Blast the workroom.”
“Merlin-”
“I am the one who ends hurt and in this cot,” Merlin continued, leaning down closer to her. “Me, not you.”
Gwen blinked. “Look if it’s about the cot, I’m sure I can help you find another.”
Rolling his eyes, Merlin lay his head down onto it. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
She pushed her fingers under his fringe and sighed. “I hope so.”
* * *
Gwen laughed. “You’re threatening me?”
“Yes.”
Gwen took a step back, and he followed, “Perhaps, it would be wise to find a more public place for this conversation,” she retreated another step.
Resolutely, Merlin transferred his other hand to her hip and pushed Gwen backwards until her back hit the bookcase. “I don’t think that will be necessary.”
Gwen bit her lip, ducking her head, a perfect imitation of servility, “I-I really should be going,” her large brown eyes rose to meet his and Merlin’s breath caught at the spark in them, “I can’t think of what you could possibly need me for,” Gwen whispered.
Merlin leant a hand on the bookcase by her neck. “Then you have a shocking lack of imagination.”
“Oh. In that case, I think it’d be wise for you to…” Gwen’s fingertips skimmed over his knuckles as they clutched to her hip, “improve it.”
His lips fell to hers, “So, this is why you’re always trying to convince me to spend time in the library.”
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Title: These thoughts I must not think of - Different
Author: mustbethursday3
Rating: G
Word count: under 400
Characters/Pairings: Guinevere/Merlin
Spoilers: None. It's AU.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Wow, it feels good to get that out there.
Prompt: Written for merlin_multis . . . as an a apology of sorts for my lateness.
Summary: Set after Gwen kisses Merlin.
Author's note: Decided to piece some drabbles together.
_ _ _
It isn’t as if he'd meant to kiss her, she had after all initiated it, and of course it’s meaningless, completely . . . but he wants to do it again. Which might be a problem, as she seems to have forgotten it all.
He finds his gaze dropping to her lips when she talks. Or smiles. Like there’s an invisible thread that pulls his eyes downward involuntarily. Not that he doesn’t listen to her, because he does, and then later when he’s alone he spins her words through his head looking for some deeper meaning, some clue into what is making him so obsessive.
What make her different?
She’s unsurprised - or at least that’s how she looks - when she opens her door to find him on her doorstep. He gets the feeling he hasn’t woken her up, despite her state of dress and the plaits hanging either side of her chin. Her calm gaze smooths over his rumbled clothes - thrown on as the first thing his hands had landed on - and her mouth purses, not distastefully but worriedly. And in truth he’s not surprised that she’s concerned to find someone at her door at such an early hour that the sun has yet to make an appearance.
“I’ll meet you on the field,” she says and looks down at her nightgown. “I need to change first.”
He chooses an axe, it’s the biggest of the weapons he’s borrowed from the armoury, and she rolls her eyes.
“It’s not the size of the weapon,” she chastises gently, bending to pick up a sword and straightening up to smile at him readily. “But the skill to which it’s wielded.”
“But Arthur always-”
“Have you seen Arthur fight?” Gwen asks, stepping closer to him. “That took training, he didn’t just roll out of bed one morning a warrior, it took hard work.” She makes a funny face, between a smile and a laugh. “You should have seen him when he started . . . he was worse then you . . . no offense.”
“None taken,” Merlin frowns. “Uh...Worse?”
“Yes, Morgana used to make him fall into the muddiest part of the field - which is what I think gave him the motivation to practise,” Gwen grins, and plants her feet. “So, are we going to do this?”
She doesn't let him win, and somehow she makes him feel good about losing.
He kisses her when she's explaining what he's doing wrong with his feet.
Gwen's sword drops to the grass.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Title: These thoughts I must not think of - Broken
Author: mustbethursday3
Rating: G
Word count: under 300
Characters/Pairings: Guinevere/Merlin
Spoilers: None. It's AU.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Wow, it feels good to get that out there.
Prompt: Written for merlin_multis . . . as an a apology of sorts for my lateness.
Summary: Gwen is betrayed - based on spoilers for S3 that Morgana's going to set Gwen up.
Author's note: Decided to piece some drabbles together.
_ _ _
All this time he was sure that if anyone were capable of breaking Gwen’s heart it would be Arthur.
But she’s a rational little thing and whatever is between her and the Prince she seems resigned to weather it.
So he's surprised, unprepared and furious, when it’s Morgana who breaks it.
And Gwen has no protection of logic to cling to, and with no reason to believe that Morgana would turn on her, ever, shatters. As only the resolutely unyielding can, a million little fragments of Gwen crash to the floor as Morgana finally strips her of the thing Gwen gives naturally - trust.
At the sight of her pressed back to the wall, hands over her own mouth to muffle the sound she can’t stop, he feels a wave of anger. And he has to push back at the terrible thoughts that whisper temptingly to him as he steps towards her. Because she needs him.
Because there's noone else coming.
She’s shaking all over, when he draws her into his arms. Carefully and silently, he smoothes her hair, feeling her tears soak into his tunic and just holds her.
Merlin knows that they'll have to talk about what they'll do next. That Gwen, always inclined to move forward, will be prepared to do what's . . . necessary. Though he hates that she'll have to.
But for now she needs to be Gwen, and know that he - at least - is not going anywhere.
That he's going to get all that she's lost back . . . if it takes the rest of his life.
_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ___ _ _ __
So yes, Titles are from 'When Anger shows' by Editors.
I feel like I have this huge Gwen/Merlin blindspot I just discovered, coz writing them is HARD. I wasn't sure whether I was actually going to get anything finished . . . and I have like a half/quarter of a Peterpan!Merlin fic that I started for the purpose of fulfilling my claim . . . and then ran out of the ability to write it as solely G/M - and had the really annoying impulse to put Arthur in it (but I couldn't because then, knowing myself, I would have made it A/G and just defied the whole purpose of claiming G/M).
So, yes SIGH.
Oh and I spent a lot of my writing block days making icons . . . lots of icons of Gwen, Merlin, Morgana, a few Arthur (I find him really difficult), a bunch of William, some Emilia . . . so once I get those uploaded I'll post them - possibly in a few posts so it's not overwhelming.
Hope the writing wasn't too bad :D
Author: mustbethursday3
Rating: G
Word count: 1400+
Characters/Pairings: Guinevere/Merlin
Spoilers: None. It's AU.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Wow, it feels good to get that out there.
Prompt: Written for merlin_multis
Summary: IDK guys . . . I'm an A/G shipper who went -HEY, I kinda like G/Mer so obviously I should be able to write it . . . [cue HORRIBLE CASE OF WRITER'S BLOCK]. So, I can't really make any sense of it myself. Um, I think I wrote from a AU where Merlin's the Prince and Gwen's the Ward . . . but IDK, imagine what you will I guess.
Author's note: Re above: I struggled and that's all the excuse I have for posting this. And I'm sorry, I know that anyone could have easily written something better.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
As she had on many an occasion since it had happened, Gwen traced the scarred skin along Merlin’s jaw. Feeling the familiar little quiver he made in response, but ignoring it.
The wound was a remnant of a battle past, yet another close call, from yet another opponent.
She’d been the one to find him crouched on the flagstones.
The first to see the newly charred and reddened flesh of his cheek.
Only Gwen had heard the weight in his forced laugh when he’d turned his head towards her, stared into her eyes and dared her to speak. To cry, or apologise, or get angry - however what he’d really wanted was for her to be horrified.
And she had been, but at herself.
Somehow - foolishly - she’d always taken it for granted that he’d be there, but looking at him in that second, she’d been forced to accept that one day he wouldn’t be.
With a shiver, Gwen closed her eyes, still able to feel her alarm at the sight, knowing that any closer and he would have lost an eye.
That she could have lost him, so easily.
And at that moment there hadn’t been any words, just her hands finding his and pulling him to his feet. He’d ignored her shaking, and she’d ignored his.
* * *
“You should see the other guy.”
Heartfelt brown eyes locked onto Merlin’s blue, the fingers around his tightening.
She saw the effort it took him to force more words. “I must say, you don’t look pleased to see me.”
“We saw the flames from the castle - I expected to find a corpse.”
“So I…disappointed you,” Merlin coughed hoarsely, struggling to keep pace with her as they made their way inside.
“Really, the only reason I came out here was,” she felt the tightness in her chest ease at his proximity, “...because Gaius was worried.”
There was a breath as his chin brushed the side of her head.
“Won’t happen again.”
“Liar,” she said softly.
* * *
The wound hadn’t healed correctly, leaving a distinctive mark…because as a patient Merlin was insufferable. Declining the salve offered to him, his eyes darkening to a stormy blue at the merest trace of pity.
And he’d irritably refused to sit still, unless Gwen was obstinately sitting with him, her hand pressed over his, denying him his freedom with her gentle glances and soft warnings. It hadn’t helped that everyone was afraid of him, servants eager to scatter at a hint of a glare or raised voice from the young sorcerer. And now that his power had grown there was never a shortage of rumours about him, mostly untrue and fanciful, that fuelled people’s apprehension.
* * *
“What’s this one do?”
“Why don’t you speak it and find out?” Merlin responded. He placed a hand on her shoulder.
Gwen gave a frustrated smile. “Because you know I can’t-”
“Can’t? I wouldn’t have thought you’d understand the meaning of that word,” Merlin scoffed. “I never thought I’d hear you of all people admit defeat…You know, I should mark this day - it might be the end of the-”
Gwen turned, clamping a hand over his mouth. “Merlin. Shut up.”
Merlin muttered something under her hand, his eyes flashed gold, and Gwen suddenly found her feet hovering above the ground. Ignoring the unsettling lurch in her stomach Gwen took a hold of his collar in both hands.
“Put me down.”
“You did ask,” Merlin pointed out, his hands reached up to grasp her hips, before he whispered an end to the spell.
Gwen fell into his arms, the fingers still touching his collar flexing, as she swallowed.
“Thank you.”
* * *
He had told her in no uncertain terms that he wouldn’t be searching his books for a spell, and had refused to even consider the idea of allowing another to perform magic to heal his face. His excuse being that he wasn’t sure that a burn caused by enchanted fire could be healed with magic.
She didn’t believe it for a second.
“You enjoy putting people off.”
He grinned, copying her actions and stroking her jaw, lightly with two fingers, drawing a small lilt to her lips. “You lost me.”
“It’s why you won’t get this healed,” she explained. “You like to fuel this little reputation you’ve spun for yourself amongst the townsfolk.”
“Reputation? ” Merlin raised an eyebrow over amused blue eyes. “Why Guinev-”
“You know what I’m talking about,” Gwen maintained firmly. “You’ve created an atmosphere of uncertainty on purpose, you don’t want people to know that you have as much idea about what you’re going to do next as they do - less even.”
“You’re not afraid of me,” Merlin argued, tucking a long curl into the messy bun at the back of her head.
“Because I know better then to believe everything you tell me.” Gwen stared at his ruined skin, “Or everything I hear.”
* * *
“What’s wrong?”
Gwen looked up from the blade of grass she was spinning between her fingers. “Who says something’s wrong?”
“I do.” Merlin sat next to her. “And it’s unsettling me, so spill.”
Gwen sighed. “Must I be happy all the time, or just in your presence?”
Hands clasped in his lap, Merlin leant over, and rubbed his cheek on her shoulder, cat-like, until she laughed.
“You’re insane.”
“But you have to admit, it gets results.”
Gwen looked down as Merlin took one of her hands in his. “Do you ever wish you could go back?”
“Never.”
* * *
Merlin reached down to wind one of Gwen’s corset ties around a finger, gently pulling on it. “Would you prefer me unblemished? Because if this is about finding me hideous because of some disfiguring-”
Gwen’s lips touched his cheek, cutting him off, grazing feather light over the marked flesh, and causing Merlin’s hand to tighten on its position on her hip.
“I like you as you are,” Gwen said whispered, before she begun counting on her fingers. “Including but not limited to: your emotional instability, unwillingness to admit defeat, the way you can care less of what other people think, your natural untidiness and stubborn attitude-”
Merlin kissed her. His lips gently pressing on hers, “That’s enough,” he breathed and kissed her again for good measure.
Gwen leant back and grinned, “But I’m not half finished.”
“Oh, you’re finished alright.”
* * *
Merlin settled into the chair next to the cot.
“Well, what do you have to say for yourself?”
“There’s no need to fuss.” Gwen held up a bandaged arm, “Twenty stitches - you still hold the record.”
“Gwen, I’m serious.”
“Well, if you’re serious.”
Merlin’s eyes took in all her bruises and cuts. “I think, you owe me an apology.”
Gwen looked at him wearily. “I’m sorry … I put a rather nasty hole in your window when I flew out of it.”
“I told you to run,” Merlin said sternly.
“I wasn’t going to leave you to face them alone,” Gwen replied quietly. “I’ll help clean up the mess tomorrow - your workroom must be in a state.”
“Blast the workroom.”
“Merlin-”
“I am the one who ends hurt and in this cot,” Merlin continued, leaning down closer to her. “Me, not you.”
Gwen blinked. “Look if it’s about the cot, I’m sure I can help you find another.”
Rolling his eyes, Merlin lay his head down onto it. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
She pushed her fingers under his fringe and sighed. “I hope so.”
* * *
Gwen laughed. “You’re threatening me?”
“Yes.”
Gwen took a step back, and he followed, “Perhaps, it would be wise to find a more public place for this conversation,” she retreated another step.
Resolutely, Merlin transferred his other hand to her hip and pushed Gwen backwards until her back hit the bookcase. “I don’t think that will be necessary.”
Gwen bit her lip, ducking her head, a perfect imitation of servility, “I-I really should be going,” her large brown eyes rose to meet his and Merlin’s breath caught at the spark in them, “I can’t think of what you could possibly need me for,” Gwen whispered.
Merlin leant a hand on the bookcase by her neck. “Then you have a shocking lack of imagination.”
“Oh. In that case, I think it’d be wise for you to…” Gwen’s fingertips skimmed over his knuckles as they clutched to her hip, “improve it.”
His lips fell to hers, “So, this is why you’re always trying to convince me to spend time in the library.”
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Title: These thoughts I must not think of - Different
Author: mustbethursday3
Rating: G
Word count: under 400
Characters/Pairings: Guinevere/Merlin
Spoilers: None. It's AU.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Wow, it feels good to get that out there.
Prompt: Written for merlin_multis . . . as an a apology of sorts for my lateness.
Summary: Set after Gwen kisses Merlin.
Author's note: Decided to piece some drabbles together.
_ _ _
It isn’t as if he'd meant to kiss her, she had after all initiated it, and of course it’s meaningless, completely . . . but he wants to do it again. Which might be a problem, as she seems to have forgotten it all.
He finds his gaze dropping to her lips when she talks. Or smiles. Like there’s an invisible thread that pulls his eyes downward involuntarily. Not that he doesn’t listen to her, because he does, and then later when he’s alone he spins her words through his head looking for some deeper meaning, some clue into what is making him so obsessive.
What make her different?
She’s unsurprised - or at least that’s how she looks - when she opens her door to find him on her doorstep. He gets the feeling he hasn’t woken her up, despite her state of dress and the plaits hanging either side of her chin. Her calm gaze smooths over his rumbled clothes - thrown on as the first thing his hands had landed on - and her mouth purses, not distastefully but worriedly. And in truth he’s not surprised that she’s concerned to find someone at her door at such an early hour that the sun has yet to make an appearance.
“I’ll meet you on the field,” she says and looks down at her nightgown. “I need to change first.”
He chooses an axe, it’s the biggest of the weapons he’s borrowed from the armoury, and she rolls her eyes.
“It’s not the size of the weapon,” she chastises gently, bending to pick up a sword and straightening up to smile at him readily. “But the skill to which it’s wielded.”
“But Arthur always-”
“Have you seen Arthur fight?” Gwen asks, stepping closer to him. “That took training, he didn’t just roll out of bed one morning a warrior, it took hard work.” She makes a funny face, between a smile and a laugh. “You should have seen him when he started . . . he was worse then you . . . no offense.”
“None taken,” Merlin frowns. “Uh...Worse?”
“Yes, Morgana used to make him fall into the muddiest part of the field - which is what I think gave him the motivation to practise,” Gwen grins, and plants her feet. “So, are we going to do this?”
She doesn't let him win, and somehow she makes him feel good about losing.
He kisses her when she's explaining what he's doing wrong with his feet.
Gwen's sword drops to the grass.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Title: These thoughts I must not think of - Broken
Author: mustbethursday3
Rating: G
Word count: under 300
Characters/Pairings: Guinevere/Merlin
Spoilers: None. It's AU.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Wow, it feels good to get that out there.
Prompt: Written for merlin_multis . . . as an a apology of sorts for my lateness.
Summary: Gwen is betrayed - based on spoilers for S3 that Morgana's going to set Gwen up.
Author's note: Decided to piece some drabbles together.
_ _ _
All this time he was sure that if anyone were capable of breaking Gwen’s heart it would be Arthur.
But she’s a rational little thing and whatever is between her and the Prince she seems resigned to weather it.
So he's surprised, unprepared and furious, when it’s Morgana who breaks it.
And Gwen has no protection of logic to cling to, and with no reason to believe that Morgana would turn on her, ever, shatters. As only the resolutely unyielding can, a million little fragments of Gwen crash to the floor as Morgana finally strips her of the thing Gwen gives naturally - trust.
At the sight of her pressed back to the wall, hands over her own mouth to muffle the sound she can’t stop, he feels a wave of anger. And he has to push back at the terrible thoughts that whisper temptingly to him as he steps towards her. Because she needs him.
Because there's noone else coming.
She’s shaking all over, when he draws her into his arms. Carefully and silently, he smoothes her hair, feeling her tears soak into his tunic and just holds her.
Merlin knows that they'll have to talk about what they'll do next. That Gwen, always inclined to move forward, will be prepared to do what's . . . necessary. Though he hates that she'll have to.
But for now she needs to be Gwen, and know that he - at least - is not going anywhere.
That he's going to get all that she's lost back . . . if it takes the rest of his life.
_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ___ _ _ __
So yes, Titles are from 'When Anger shows' by Editors.
I feel like I have this huge Gwen/Merlin blindspot I just discovered, coz writing them is HARD. I wasn't sure whether I was actually going to get anything finished . . . and I have like a half/quarter of a Peterpan!Merlin fic that I started for the purpose of fulfilling my claim . . . and then ran out of the ability to write it as solely G/M - and had the really annoying impulse to put Arthur in it (but I couldn't because then, knowing myself, I would have made it A/G and just defied the whole purpose of claiming G/M).
So, yes SIGH.
Oh and I spent a lot of my writing block days making icons . . . lots of icons of Gwen, Merlin, Morgana, a few Arthur (I find him really difficult), a bunch of William, some Emilia . . . so once I get those uploaded I'll post them - possibly in a few posts so it's not overwhelming.
Hope the writing wasn't too bad :D