just give up
last night was so boring and i was so alone. i never felt so worried in my life before either, because everytime something like last night happens i always get another bad situation to deal with, and its hurts soooooooo bad and sometimes i think what if i just gave up? it might be so much easier. i wouldnt be in so much pain half the time, but i know that is not what i want and i wont be so weak as to give into that because that is not how i feel at all. i am so overjoyed when your with me, but when you aren't it feels like there is a 10 pound lead weight in my chest. it was really weird when i got home last night, i felt so weird and like i was depressed, but i dont know what i was so depressed about, but i figured it out after crying myself to sleep. i hate it when it happens b/c i feel like a pussy but it helps me figure out my life. why has it been happening so often? idk, but what i do know is that all that i want is you. i put you first.