I don't get it
I just don't get it. So here is the scoop. There is this guy. Isn't there alwasy a guy in the begining of one of these posts? So yeah there is this guy, and I have been interested for a while but i figured i had no chance with him, he just seemeed out of my league. I just didn't seem as skinny or as smart as he is known to like them. So i just ignored this little feeling that came in my heart each time i saw him. And by the way John and I broke up. So yeah, there is this guy well the other day when we were hanging out we ended up kissing, not once but a few times, and since then i have tried to make an effort to see him and get to know him as a person because although I have known him for a while I havn't really gotten the chance to "know" him. So i have tried and i juts feel like this is a total waste of time. I really thought he was interested, but i guess I was wrong. I just can't stop trying to figure out what the hell happened? Last week it was all good, he was awake of how i felt and kissed me anyway, and now it's like "whatever" it's like he's just not there anymore. So it makes me think that yet again I am not good enough. I mean I don't usually make any moves at all, i don't like to put myself out there to be rejected and though I took a chance on this because it really meant something to me and I wanted to see if it was really like it alwasy had been in my mind, adn when i kissed him it seemed better. Its weird to say but it was like those two years or so waiting was worth it for what had happened, and now I am so confused and feel very rejected. I honestly believed he was really interested but i guess i was wrong. I have seen him 3 times since that kiss and the first time He kinda was standoffish, said Hi & bye to me and that was it, then the 2nd time He was not as stand offish but still kinda stood back from the situation adn then tonight it was like it went back to how it used to be with our friendship, where nothing was expected and we made small talk and joked but nothing lying underneath that, and then I knew there was nothing when he left when I was in the bathroom and didn't even say goodbye, he just picked up and left. I came downstairs and said to my sister "he's gone isn't he?" and she just gave me a hug, because she knows i NEVER put myself out there and this time i took a chance and did and it just hit me kinda hard. I mean yeah I have known him for a while and i've stuck withit thus far, but as far as anything more than friendship is concerned i think i quit. I am not going to keep putting myself out there just to get rejected again and again so i guess it will go back to how it used to be after the akwardness has worn off and i will keep wondering "What if??"