Holy Shit.
I went to see the Neurosurgan this morning..His name is Dr. Sataras..he is really super nice and i really like him. He is one of those doctors that makes you feel comfy. well he looked at my MRI films and as he was looking he tells me "one of your disks is ruptured." Yeah so the damn things arent just herniated..one is ruptured. So then i had to layed on the table and he took a needle and poked my toes on my right and left feet, and he did the same on my legs and knees...and i would yell and flinch when he poked my left leg but when he did it to the right i didnt even move. I cant feel anything that touches my right leg..well i mean i can but barely. I cannot register pain. He then said that im am REALLY close to having to have surgery...so basicly im going to need it. He then said that he wants another doctor to look at me so i can have a second opinion so he gave me the card of the other neurosurgan that comes to his office a few times a week. So i called and made the appointment, i go on the 16th because thats when they told me to make the appt lol. According to the first doctor though it looks like i will have to be having surgery sometime in the near future. Im scared but i see it as if it has to be done then it has to be done..Also the Dr Sataras wants me to go to therapy 3 times a week for a month, so i start next week..i go tuesday and thursday. The lady there didnt want me to have a back to back session so we just made it for 2 times next week. I cannot beleve how much money my dad and boyfriend have had to chuck out for me and i love them so much for helping me because right now i feel so helpless. I told my dad i was sorry, and he was like "you dont have any reason to be sorry" and he hugged me and i started to cry. He is mad because Rite Aid has fucked me over so bad. Also i know he hates to see me like i am, and there isnt anything he can do about it. I then called my mom and told her everything, and she is upset that im so injured. Then she told me to call my granny and talk to her. Well i was talking to her and i asked her if she could please help us because Mom, Dad, and Jason are gonna need help with stuff..Well she tells me "Well ill see what i can do, i mean i already had to tap into my saving for you a few years ago when i gave you a thousand dollars, so i dont know if im able to help again." She gave me that one thousand dollars to go to school..even though if i recal correctly it was only about 500 dollars that she coughed up, and dad coughed up the rest. She is so full of shit!! and she makes me so angry because i,and everyone else knows damn well that if it were my cousin Josh that she would bend over backwards to help him. Hell she just spent 100 dollars on him for shoes, but she cant help me out with meds, and therapy and doctors...She really angers me. My dad was really mad too because the only reason she does it is because of him, she cant stand him so im a black sheep. My dad is also angry because she hurt me by not wanting to help. Thats ok..i see it as everything that people do always back to them. She will regret how she was to me one day. She really really has hurt me..she was like "well ill have to bring you lots of reading materals and things" its like i need money not fucking magazines that trash talk famous people and half of the crap in there isnt even true. I havent even read the last ones she brought me 2 weeks ago, because they dont interest me. God Damn she makes me so fucking mad i could slap the shit out of her..what a selfish bitch. I dont know what to do about money for the second opinion from this next doctor because they want three to five hundred dollars for the first appt. Thats some crazy bull shit and i gotta have it up front. Well, thats all i can really think of right now maybe ill type more later....