(no subject)
I know I'm fucking up my life. I know I am. The stupid shit I've been doing since school started is just that, stupid.
A long time ago I promised myself I wouldn't ever do any of that, because my future is more important, and it's in my control to get what I want.
But the world fucked my life up for me. And I know that things should continue as normal next semester, and that it won't hurt my academic career, blah blah blah. But it won't be the same.
I won't be the same. I don't have the same control I used to, and I just don't care anymore what I do, because it really doesn't matter.
I worked my ass off in high school so I could go to any school that I wanted. I got accepted at every damn school I applied to. And I'm the retarded one who chose to go to school 19 hours from my house that got ploughed over by a hurricane. So look where all my hard work got me.
A long time ago I promised myself I wouldn't ever do any of that, because my future is more important, and it's in my control to get what I want.
But the world fucked my life up for me. And I know that things should continue as normal next semester, and that it won't hurt my academic career, blah blah blah. But it won't be the same.
I won't be the same. I don't have the same control I used to, and I just don't care anymore what I do, because it really doesn't matter.
I worked my ass off in high school so I could go to any school that I wanted. I got accepted at every damn school I applied to. And I'm the retarded one who chose to go to school 19 hours from my house that got ploughed over by a hurricane. So look where all my hard work got me.