empty.
of energy that is. of will or want.
i spent a ridiculous amount of hours thinking of Riddick today. (i was at jacob what the fuck else was i supposed to do... besides accept a $100 counterfeit bill.... but thats another matter entirely. - though thats not fair because it has done a great deal to affect my mood.)
and came to the slightly disturbing realization that if some crazed homicidal creature -ahemRIDDICKahem- came to my door with the intention of whisking me away and into adventure, peril and sure pain. i would agree.... because it's not like i have anything to loose.
i'm being transplanted in a few months anyways. i'm already leaving all that i know and love behind for questionable success or joy. so really... why not.
there isn't a reason really. except fear of pain and death...
but common now. a chance to conquer some of my biggest fears. loneliness, pain, death, fear, inadequacy, etc...
always i have dreamed of being whisked away into an adventure
whisked away into the sublime romance of pain and torment.
but never before did i have no reason not to.
this is an interesting realization on my part.
that and sadly - there are some moods chocolate can not salvage.
i suppose i , in my supreme laziness - wish to be saved.
by a self-centered, ethically-challenged, homicidally-inclined, sexy brute of a man.
am i the only one who's senses are currently permeated by the stench of classic female teenage angst.
too often i leave these posts with mention that i should really just shoot myself.
but where's the adventure in that?
i spent a ridiculous amount of hours thinking of Riddick today. (i was at jacob what the fuck else was i supposed to do... besides accept a $100 counterfeit bill.... but thats another matter entirely. - though thats not fair because it has done a great deal to affect my mood.)
and came to the slightly disturbing realization that if some crazed homicidal creature -ahemRIDDICKahem- came to my door with the intention of whisking me away and into adventure, peril and sure pain. i would agree.... because it's not like i have anything to loose.
i'm being transplanted in a few months anyways. i'm already leaving all that i know and love behind for questionable success or joy. so really... why not.
there isn't a reason really. except fear of pain and death...
but common now. a chance to conquer some of my biggest fears. loneliness, pain, death, fear, inadequacy, etc...
always i have dreamed of being whisked away into an adventure
whisked away into the sublime romance of pain and torment.
but never before did i have no reason not to.
this is an interesting realization on my part.
that and sadly - there are some moods chocolate can not salvage.
i suppose i , in my supreme laziness - wish to be saved.
by a self-centered, ethically-challenged, homicidally-inclined, sexy brute of a man.
am i the only one who's senses are currently permeated by the stench of classic female teenage angst.
too often i leave these posts with mention that i should really just shoot myself.
but where's the adventure in that?