Ahh Life. . .
So here's my latest update. I'm hating life right now. I'm broke, my family is falling apart, people are dying all around me, I'm getting fat, I have no real friends, and I have doubts about every decision I make, even changing lanes on the freeway... I got a good job, pays okay, just a li'l more than I was making before. But its a farther drive. Eh. I don't know exactly why I'm feeling the way I am right now. But I just feel so angry, upset, sad, all at the same time. I just wanna sit and cry my eyes out. I know that things could be worse. Thank goodness they're not. That would really depress me and make me wanna... Well, I'd rather not go there. I've been there before and it was not fun. Unfortunately, my li'l sister was there to see me hit rock bottom. But she saved me. And for that I'm thankful. I can't even go to the house and see my siblings because my mom's ex is there. I don't know exactly what's happening right now, but I know it can't be good. I can't get a hold of anybody. I wanna talk to my boyfriend about it, but he doesn't seem to really care much and always gets this look on his face like he just wants me to shut the fuck up cause he really could care less... I have no friends I can really confide in anymore. I feel so alone. I know my siblings would be here if they could. . . Hell, they'd rather be HERE! LOL! But really though, I'm getting pretty damn tired of my life. I wish I could try someone elses shoes on for a change. Someone with lots of money, and can just take a break to get away from it all and go to some private island somewhere.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I'm totally disgusted. No, I'm not that bad looking, but I just don't like what I see. I hate what I see. But I have no motivation to change the way I look. It's so much easier to just go with it. I don't wanna starve myself because I might have seizures again...
I just wanna go away. . . But even in my dreams, I can't escape. Last night I had a dream about my family with my ex-stepdad in it. It was horrible and weird. I woke up with a horrid feeling in my stomach. My fat stomach. Eh. Anyways, I guess that's enough rambling for now. Sorry but I just had to. Thanks for reading.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I'm totally disgusted. No, I'm not that bad looking, but I just don't like what I see. I hate what I see. But I have no motivation to change the way I look. It's so much easier to just go with it. I don't wanna starve myself because I might have seizures again...
I just wanna go away. . . But even in my dreams, I can't escape. Last night I had a dream about my family with my ex-stepdad in it. It was horrible and weird. I woke up with a horrid feeling in my stomach. My fat stomach. Eh. Anyways, I guess that's enough rambling for now. Sorry but I just had to. Thanks for reading.